THE SEUSSIFICATION OF ROMEO AND JULIET by Peter Bloedel

(The two NARRATORS enter the playing area. They dress and behave similarly.)

NARRATOR #1. Dear Ladies and Menfolk!

NARRATOR #2. Women and Gents!
NARRATOR #1. You're people of culture and true common sense.
NARRATOR #2. You know what you know, and you like what you like.
NARRATOR #1. Like singing a song, or riding a bike.
NARRATOR #2. Two hour symphonies!NARRATOR #1. Ping-pong!NARRATOR #2. Canoeing!
NARRATOR #1. Poetry!NARRATOR #2. Football!
NARRATOR #1. Or, yellow snowshoeing!
NARRATOR #2. (Glancing at NARRATOR #1 with disgust:) We like that stuff too!
NARRATOR #1. It's the greatest!NARRATOR #2. You bet!
NARRATOR #1. And topping the list...BOTH. Romeo and [Link] #2. It's
Shakespeare's great [Link] #1. We can't get enough! But make no mistake..
BOTH. Writing that stuff is tough.
NARRATOR #2. Sublime in its scope, no thing is more artful.

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NARRATOR#1. It deserves honors and lauds by the cart ful.
NARRATOR #2. The play is just perfect.
NARRATOR #1. Nothing is wrong.
NARRATOR #2. Except that it's almost two hours.
BOTH. (Glancing at each other and then to the audience) Too Long
NARRATOR #2. The play is still great, so we need not repeat it.
NARRATOR #1. But, you need to be Albert Einstein just to read it
NARRATOR #2. Now, don't get us wrong, we love William Shakespeare,
NARRATOR #1. But, in this new century he's not very clear.
NARRATOR #2. Yet, only in reverence to him our great hero,
Do we pull "The Bard" back to our level, zero.
NARRATOR #1. We've shortened the play, changed some names, made it rhyme
No more of that blank verse, we don't think he'd mind.
NARRATOR #2. A rhyming tetrameter is thought quite useful,
NARRATOR #1. But, could make the play sound a bit Dr. Seussful.
NARRATOR #2..And What's wrong with that, why as sure as we're standin',
Seuss is good too, and most folks understand him.
NARRATOR #1. But don't get the notion that the Seussification Of Romy and J is our one main
intention.
NARRATOR #2. We'd never do that.
NARRATOR #1. No we wouldn't.
BOTH. Oh No!
And that's why we're bothering telling you so.
NARRATOR #2. A prologue is given to the top of the play.
NARRATOR #1. A paragraph giving the whole plot away.
NARRATOR #2. It must be important, there must be a reason

9
For Shaky to put it there.
NARRATOR #1. 'less he's just teasin'.
NARRATOR #2. Our Prologue's addressed..
(From offstage, suspended by a long stick, a dress on a hanger ap-pears. Being misunderstood,
and annoyed, NARRATOR #2 reiter-ates.)
Addressed!
(The dress is pulled out of sight and the character of the PROLOGUE makes a leaping
entrance.)
Our Prologue's addressed, so let's watch and see..
NARRATOR #1. This lamentable,
NARRATOR #2. Horrible!
NARRATOR #1. Gross, comedy.
(NARRATOR #2 nudges NARRATOR #1, who then realizes a mistake.)
(Oh!) Tragedy.
(The PROLOGUE crosses the playing area and continues his/her speech to one side, because
there will be action taking place behind him her.)
PROLOGUE. Verona's the place from where our play is picked. Two families lived there, and
man were they ticked.
(Two distinct groups of players materialize behind the PROLOGUE, representing the two
feuding houses of CAPITULATE and
MONOTONE. Both groups stand there, perhaps in fighting stance, looking "ticked.")
PROLOGUE. Their ancient grudge match happened before the
story,
And rekindled hatred made their feud more gory.
(The two families growl at one another, or generally show their ha-tred, still in the frozen fighting
stance.)
Straight from the loins of those mentioned above…

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( Lady Capitulate and Lady Monotone both visibly pregnant, walk into their respective family
huddles, which conceal them)
Popped kid one...
(Popping sound.)
(ROMEO pops out of the Monotone huddle, crying and sucking on a bottle with a nipple. His
mother is now visibly not pregnant.)
And kid two...
(Popping sound.)
JULIET pops out of the Capitulate huddle, crying and sucking on a pacifier. Her mother is now
visibly not pregnant.)
And they fell in love.
(ROMEO and JULIET walk to center stage and drop their baby props. ROMEO dips JULIET and
kisses her.)
Kid one and kid two, later, each took their life...
(ROMEO and JULIET punch each other and both drop dead.)
As a result of their parental strife.
Their families to fighting and feuding were fettered, But, somehow the death of their kids made it
better.
The families were pals now, they'd all go on hikes...
(We see members of each family hiking.)
...Mud wrestle.
(We see dirty members of each family running across the stage doing wrestling moves -
headlocks, etc.)
…Play lawn darts….
(We see members of each family playing lawn darts, or similar lawn
game.)
...And pedal their bikes.
(Kids ride Dr. Seuss-looking bikes across the stage. All exit, except PROLOGUE.)

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Now we're not saying that taking you life Is an antidote to family tumult and strife.
That's an idea that sure can make plays sell, But in real life, it just doesn't work out well.
So, kids- Never try this. Forget what you've heard We're trained professionals and we're
insured.
(PROLOGUE exits. NARRATOR #2 enters carrying an odd musical instrument.)
NARRATOR #2. Just a reminder -This interpretation
Takes nothing from Dr. Seuss as inspiration.
Our thoughts are our own, as I stand alone, And I play on this xylophone, eight-belled trombone.
(Exits.)
(NARRATOR #1 enters as a boxing announcer. A microphone drops from the ceiling. He/she
speaks into it.)
NARRATOR #1. In this corner, here are Sampson and Gregory, From the house of Capitulate,
they were born ang-o-ry.
And representing the house of Lord Monotone, Abram and Balthasar - a tenor...
ABRAM. (High voice:) Hi!
NARRATOR #1. And baritone.
BALTHASAR. (Low voice:) Hi!
(A bell rings and the match starts.)
ABRAM. Excuse me do you bite your thumb at us sir?
SAMPSON. I did bite my thumb and it hurts, see the pus there?
ABRAM. I think your pus mocks us!
GREGORY. Do you have a quarrel?
ABRAM. No, I don't yet, only this simple moral.
We serve lord monotone, as you must know, And monotones have on their bellies an "O.
Nothing's more fashionable, what could be better?
GREGORY. Nothing except that you've picked the wrong letter.

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SAMPSON. Capitulates all have an "y" on their tummy, And if you don't have one you're prob-ly
a dummy.
BALTHASAR. Do you mean a dummy with a capital "D°?
SAMPSON. Yes, that's what I meant, that's what I meant indeed
BALTHASAR. Draw if you be men you "X"-bellied fools.
SAMPSON/GREGORY. Now to our anger you've added the fuel (They fight in slow motion as
NARRATOR #2 enters and speaks.)
NARRATOR #2. A giant brawl started, you wouldn't believe it. CAPITULATE and MONOTONE
came to see it.
CAPITULATE (LORD). Bring me my longsword, the one that cuts deep.
While I'm waiting, I'll yell-"Monotone, you're a creep!"
MONOTONE (LORD). (In a monotone voice:) You villain Capitulate! I'm more the man,
And you are the creepiest, creep in the land.
CAPITULATE. (To LADY CAPITULATE:) Hmmm. The creepiest creep. Does he have a point
there?
LADY CAPITULATE. He's lying my love you must never surren-der.
(Enter NARRATOR #1.)
NARRATOR #1. Enter the prince, royal and wise,
(The PRINCE enters. All fighting stops and all eyes are on His Maj-esty.)
He's had about all he can take from these guys.
A crusader for peace, he stops the fight, And everyone listens, 'cuz they know he's right.
He pauses and makes the most eloquent speech.
THE PRINCE. Will you jerks knock it off? I've been trying to sleep.
NARRATOR #1. Upon hearing the prince's great message of vir-tue,

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The crowd all dispersed, it was almost past curfew.
Only Lord and Mrs. Monotone stayed.
MONOTONE. Where's our Romeo? I've not seen him all day.
Why won't he fight in the brawls like the others?
LADY MONOTONE. He spends his time day dreaming, why should he bother?
(ROMEO enters. He's pathetic. His parents watch him speak.)
ROMEO. Show me a mistress that is passing fair, Where I may read who passed that passing
fair.
She is too fair, too wisely too fair.
It must be unfair to be passed at the fair.
'cuz fairs, they don't care whose passing them rarely.
Even the fair will pass rarely but barely.
My love is fair, stripped bare, and cooked rare, But, fair cupid steals my bliss, so I despair.
(Romeo's parents exit shaking their heads as if to say, "Where did we go wrong?" ROMEO exits
in the other direction.)
NARRATOR #1. That was young Romeo, kid number one,
But, as we can see he's not having much fun.
(She holds up a bottle labeled "Sneezle Fruit Juice.")
Perhaps he could use some red Sneezle Fruit Juice.
That's the best juice when your mind's on the loose.
It's guaranteed for ten thousand - six uses, And it's nothing, no nothing like old Dr. Seuss's.
Nor is our play, which can stand on its own.
..Just thought we'd remind you before you go home.
(NARRATOR #2 exits. NARRATOR #1 enters.)
NARRATOR #2. Meanwhile at the Capitulate pad, There's a suitor for Julie and he's with her
dad.
(Enter CAPITULATE, PARIS, and SERVANT OF CAPITU-LATE. NARRATOR #1 exits.)
PARIS. Capitulate! I am the man for your daughter.
CAPITULATE. I don't think you'll do.

14
PARIS. But who could be hotter?
Besides that I brought you some peppermint candy.
CAPITULATE. (To the SERVANT:) Does he have a point?
(The SERVANT nods.)
I think you'll be dandy.
Let's have a banquet.
(To the SERVANT:) Young man go and get
All of these people whose names I have writ.
(CAPITULATE hands an invitation list to the servant and then exits with his arm around PARIS.)
SERVANT OF CAPITULATE. Before I can find all the people and greet'em,
I need to find help from someone who can read 'em.
(Enter ROMEO and BENVOLIO. ROMEO is chanting his same pathetic litany. BENVOLIO is
annoyed by it.)
ROMEO...'cuz fairs, they don't care whose passing them rarely.
Even the fair will pass rarely but barely.
My love is fair, stripped bare, and cooked rare,
BOTH. But, fair cupid steals my bliss, so I despair.
BENVOLIO. Romeo, I know your heart has been broken, Because on this matter you've
endlessly spoken.
And I've tried my best to be philanthropic, But, cousin, I think you've exhausted the topic.
This tether to sadness I think you must cut, Or, if you don't will you please just shut up?
ROMEO. Benvolio, it is so rare to forbear...
help you there?
BENVOLIO. (Interrupting him:) Hey buddy! What's up? Can we help you there?
SERVANT OF CAPITULATE. Sure enough, if there is help then I need it,
'cuz I've got this list here, and I just can't read it.
To find a strong reader is what I've been hoping…ROMEO. (Taking the list:) I'll read it to you, it
will keep me from moping.
(He reads:) These folks can come to Capitulate's party:
Smarty Martino and his boy named Arty, Bronco Buck Billy, and Buck Billy Buff, And Lady
MeDinky, MeDucky, MeDuff, Sonny's son Daily, and his pal Baloo, John Jimmy Jack Jamerson,
from Katmandu, Mercutio and Winnifred Winnie Waters, Old Uncle Perk and his ninety-six
daughters, Dave from Topeka, and Lady Von Rybald, Rosaline, Valentine, Livia, Tybalt, Anyone
named Gordie or Tim or Melissa, Can come to this bash, if you can't then we'll miss ya.
(Finished reading, he says to SERVANT:) This party sound great.
BENVOLIO. Like the best of the best.
SERVANT OF CAPITULATE. If you're not a Monotone, come be our guest.
(The SERVANT exits.)
BENVOLIO. Romeo, we've got to go crash this wingding.
There's sure to be beauties to make even you sing.
ROMEO. This party will never cure my broken heart,
But, I'll go along with you to take your part.
(ROMEO and BENVOLIO exit. Enter NARRATOR #1.)
NARRATOR #1. Meanwhile, back at the Capitulate place, We meet Juliet full of splendor and
grace.
(Enter JULIET. She trips and falls. LADY CAPITULATE and NURSE enter from other side of
playing area. NARRATOR #1 ex-its.)
LADY CAPITULATE. Nurse where is Juliet? Now where could she be?
I want my daughter, so lead her to me.
NURSE. Oh, little plum dumplin', oh, sweet puddin' pie. Where's my fragrant blossom - come
out don't be shy.

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Oh little love monkey, thou sweet chimpanzeezel,
Answer my call and quit hiding, you weasel!
JULIET. (From the floor:) How now? Who calls?
NURSE. (Helping her up:) Get up off the floor!
It's your Mother, she's waiting just outside your door.
JULIET. (A bit bewildered from the fall:) Mom?
LADY CAPITULATE. Yes! It's I. I'm your own dearest Mother.
I've been called the same by your sisters and brother.
I meant to say just what I said when I meant That I am your Mother, One-hundred percent.
JULIET. I suppose this is a moment I'll cherish.
LADY CAPITULATE. Juliet, you are to marry young Paris.
JULIET. I'm not yet fourteen. Is there some room for doubt?
LADY CAPITULATE. I married young, and look how I turned out.
(LADY CAPITULATE strikes some sort of cheerleader or beauty pageant pose. JULIET is
disgusted.)
NURSE. He is so handsome. He's a man of wax.
LADY CAPITULATE. Here is his picture. He sent us a FAX.
(Hands JULIET the fax picture. It isn't flattering.)
We're having a party, and there you can meet him.
NURSE. He's so delicious, you'll just want to eat him.
(They exit. NARRATOR #1 and NARRATOR #2 enter.)
NARRATOR #2. On their way to the party Benvolio and Romeo, Meet up with their friend Clifford
Deacon First Folio Carmichael Zanzibar Hoos Foos Petruchio Zip Zip Shabang, also known as
Mercutio.
NARRATOR #1. Now, I think you can see by this point in the play, That there isn't a singular
possible way
That our show could have taken on Seuss attributes,
We'd sooner put bounce berry beans in our boots.
17
The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet
(The NARRATORS exit, "bouncing off" Enter ROMEO, BEN-VOLIO, MERCUTIO. They are
dressed for a costume party. RO-MEO is wearing a visor.)
BENVOLIO. (To ROMEO:) Forget this girl who won't return your affection,
Dance with some others make a new selection.
MERCUTIO. Yes, gentle Romeo, we must see you dance.
ROMEO. My heart is too heavy. There isn't a chance.
MERCUTIO. You love sick dreamer, your dreams aren't all dreamt.
Each man sees a new day and you're not exempt.
(MERCUTIO pulls a flat black disk from his pants. It's a "hole.")
Do you want to live your whole life in a hole?
(He throws the hole onto the ground. ROMEO and BENVOLIO look down into it as if it's
bottomless.)
1know what I know and I'm telling you so,
A life should be filled with adventure and bliss, And that's why I'm bothering telling you this.
Suddenly we're at the party and Capitulate greets the three at the door.
CAPITULATE. Good evening Gents-there's plenty to eat,
(Capitulate's party members enter the playing area dancing to mellow party music playing softly.
The ladies have corn cobs strapped to their feet. JULIET is in the party group.)
And ladies who'll dance despite corns on their feet.
Corn-footed feet are the best feet for dancing, If I were a youngster you bet I'd be prancin' Why I
might dance now. Wait! Could that be true?
Do I have a point there? I certainly do.
(The music abruptly changes to raucous dance music playing loudly.
CAPITULATE goes and dances for five seconds and then greets the three at the door again.
Mellow music resumes.)
(CAPITULATE continues - capitulating:)
Good evening Gents- there's plenty to eat,
Peter Bloedel
18
And ladies who'll dance despite corns on their feet.
(RniconS musiC again. CAPITULATE soes and dances again for fioe seconds and comes back
greet te tree at the door for a lily time. Mellow music resumes.)
Welcome young fellows, I recall the day When I'd wear a visor to such a par-tay, And whisper
sweet tales in the young ladies ears.
Have a good time and enjoy these young years.
Wait! That can't be right! Or is it? Tarnation!
Blast this infernal recapitulation.
(Holds his head as if in a daze, smiles and goes back to dancing.
JULIET and ROMEO are both downstage but on opposite sides of the stage. ROMEO notices
JULIET.)
ROMEO. Ei-hotchee-mama, Growl, Whoo! Hubba-hubba!
That girl is a babe or my name is dumb bubba.
(ROMEO pulls his visor down over his eyes to conceal his identity, he goes to JULIET and
commences flirting. An alarm goes off. TY-BALT rushes down stage from the party group.)
TYBALT. My Monotone alarm just gave the alert!
I keep it hidden right here in my shirt.
It detects Monotones. It's never wrong.
And this one is foolin' where he don't belong.
This brazen young trespasser needs to be smitten.
CAPITULATE. Dear nephew Tybalt did you lose this mitten?
(TYBALT takes the mitten because he did lose it.)
TYBALT. (Points:) Uncle your house has a monotone there.
CAPITULATE. Leave him alone.
ROMEO takes his visor off for a second and runs his fingers through his hair.)
Wow! Does he have nice hair!
TYBALT. But uncle, that's Romeo, Monotone's son!
CAPITULATE. Lighten up boy l'm not done having fun.
19
d
The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet
I know not to kill him must fill you with sorrow, But, look on the bright side, there's always
tomorrow.
(CAPITULATE goes back and dances again. TYBALT falls back and watches ROMEO like a
hawk. ROMEO grabs, JULIET's hand and brings her to the center of the playing area.)
ROMEO. Please, don't think I'm forward, but I think you're hot!
JULIET. (Aside:) I can't see his face is it worth it or not?
(ROMEO lifts his visor.)
ROMEO. I have twelve billion, sixty-two million and sixty,
Hormones and all of them want you to kiss me.
JULIET. Hey, you're kind of cute, okay, here, hold my gum first.
It's raspberry, lima bean, sneezle fruit, bratwurst.
(They kiss.)
ROMEO. Wow! Hey, you're right, that is good tasting gum.
NURSE. Your mother would like a few words with you, hon.
(NURSE grabs JULIET by the arm and sends her back to LADY CAPITULATE who is standing
with PARIS. ROMEO pops Juliet's gum in his mouth.)
ROMEO. Who is her Mom, if I may be so bold?
Quickly, please tell me before I get old.
NURSE. Her Dad is the host, who bought that main course dish you ate.
Her Mother's no other than Lady Capitulate.
Juliet is her name and she is the fairest.
But don't get ideas. She's marrying Paris.
ROMEO. She's a Capitulate what rotten luck.
BENVOLIO. (Emerging from the party:) Romy, we're outta here, this gig is up!
We mustn't stay here, we have to go home-e-o.
JULIET. (To the NURSE:) What is his name?
ROMEO. (With a dashing pose:) There are those who call me Romeo!
Peter Bloedel
20
(Everybody exits. NARRATOR #1 enters.)
NARRATOR 41. Nedless to say Romy's heart ache was done.
He met a new girl and she had good gum.
All of the guests from the banquet had parted, But not Romeo, he was just getting started.
(ROMEO runs on.)
ROMEO. How can I leave here when she holds my heart, My importantest, blood-pumping,
chest body part.
iS still in plain view, so a stagehand walks in with a bush and puts down in front of him. Enter
BENVOLIO and MERCUTIO.)
BENVOLIO. Yo, Romeo yo! Where'd he go Romeo!
MERCUTIO. He went home to bed, that's where I'm gonna go.
BENVOLIO. But, I saw him running back toward the feast.
MERCUTIO. Well that can't be right, 'cuz his bed is due East.
BENVOLIO. I'm telling you he didn't go home to bed.
MERCUTIO. My friend, no offense, but you need a new head.
(They exit. JULIET enters pushing on a ladder and an electric mega-phone. She climbs to the
top of the ladder.)
ROMEO. Coming back to this place may seem capricious, But, I just can't help myself, she's
gorge-o-licious.
JULIET. (Into the bullhorn:) Testing, one, two, Check! Check! Is this
thing on?
ROMEO. (On one knee below the ladder:) She speaks to herself through her self-speaking
horn.
No thing is more useful to speak private stuff to, It makes it all louder so others can know too.
JULIET. (Into the horn:) Romeo baby-o, baby-o, buff!
Wherefore art thou, I just can't get enough.
Forsake your name, or else I'll forsake mine, But, if I forsake mine there's a ten-dollar fine.
The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet
21
My tap dancing lessons will prob-ly get cancelled,
No more T.V., root beer floats, no more Seinfeld. might get grounded for three or more hours,
So, if there's a name to dump let's make it yours.
ROMEO. Oh, Juliet, you're a pearl of great price.
You're like two pearls only much, much, more nice.
You might be like three pearls - shiny and rare, But, four pearls? I think I'd be pushing it there.
JULIET. (Coming down off of the ladder:) Who is that? Yo! Romeo, Is
that you?
ROMEO. Yes, it is 1, Romeo that is true.
T heard your whole self speaking speech, through your horn, And I love you, my love, just as
sure as you're born.
JULIET. Let's find the preacher!
ROMEO. Let's get hitched tomorrow.
Enough of this fighting...
JULIET. This feuding...
BOTH. This Sorrow.
ROMEO. Kiss me once more and send my lips to heaven!
JULIET. I can't anymore tonight, It's past eleven.
ROMEO. (Scratching his head:) Well it couldn't hurt if we kissed through the horn,
Then we'll elope when the sun lights the morn.
(They kiss through the horn and the bullhorn alarm goes off. They run away blowing kisses to
each other. Enter NARRATOR #2. Enter MONK LARRY on the opposite side of the playing
area.)
NARRATOR #2. So Romeo ran to the home of Monk Larry, Not monkey Larry…he's not quite
that hairy, He's just a monk, he's the monkiest one That Romeo knew and could get the job
done.
(Enter ROMEO.)
ROMEO. Oh good! Monk Larry! I'm glad that you're here.
Peter Bloedel
22
MONK LARRY. (in a Bronx necent) Where che would be, ver left here in years
You sure are chipper, last time I saw yous, You were blubbering, moping, and singing the blues.
ROMEO. That was the old me. I'm new and improved.
I'm a hip-hoppin', happenin', cool, righteous dude!
MONK LARRY. How can I help you, my dude filled with glee?
Ance, tO smile MONK LARRY'S hand and gets dowen on on ROMEO. I need your consent,
Monk, will you marry me?
MONK LARRY. (Grabbing him by the throat) Listen punk! I am a monk, don't you get it?
Hive all alone and I'm wearing a habit.
ROMEO. (Choking:) No, No! There's a girl that I've met as of late, She is the daughter of
Capitulate.
Our love is true.
MONK LARRY. Are you sure?
ROMEO. Yes indeed.
One-Hundred and Ninety percent guaranteed.
MONK LARRY. (Aside to the audience:) If I marry the girl to this
Monotone dude-ling,
It may end the war, all this troublesome feud-ling.
(To ROMEO:) Okay, my young pup, I'll tie your knot,
But, if you're eloping, then you'll need a plot.
(MONK LARRY puts his arm around ROMEO and they exit. Enter MERCUTIO and BENVOLIO.)
MERCUTIO. So, Romeo never came home late last night?
BENVOLIO. He never came home and he's still out of sight.
Now, Tybalt the nephew of Capitulate, Challenges him to a bumballoon fight.
MERCUTIO. A bumballoon fight? That's the worst!
BENVOLIO. Yeah, I know.
The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet
23
MERCUTIO. That would mean curtains for poor Romeo.
Tybalt's the best bumballoonist around, r've seen him bumballoon twenty men down.
1can hold my own at true bumballooning,
But, lovesick young Romy's been too busy crooning.
BENVOLIO. Here he comes now! Hey Romy, what gives? you didn't go back to the place where
you live.
ROMEO enters.)
ROMEO. There's an optometrist whose name is Cupid, He's opened my eyes, and made me
less stupid.
I met a new girl, she's the best of the best.
She passed the Romeo "hot mama" test.
(Romeo's friends chime in with masculine banter.)
MERCUTIO. Heeeey, well okay, well okay hey, I say...
BENVOLIO. Heeeeeey!
ROMEO. Yippy-Yeeeea!
MERCUTIO. Yippy, okay ei-yeeea!
(Enter NURSE.)
NURSE. Has anyone seen Romeo Monotone?
I need to see him before I go home.
(Romeo's friends think that the Nurse is Romeo's new girlfriend.)
MERCUTIO. (Winking and nudging ROMEO:) Hey there! Not bad, she's a fine catch old son.
BENVOLIO. I guess I was picturing someone more young.
MERCUTIO. (Love-stricken by the nurse:) Wow! She's a babe alright, look at those curls.
ROMEO. What! Are you mental? That's not the new girl.
(MERCUTIO is dumbfounded.)
NURSE. (To ROMEO:) Juliet, my mistress inquires about you, But, I think she's missing a
half-dozen screws.
As her nurse, I must ask, what makes you so great?
Peter Bloedel
24
Why do you deserve Miss Capitulate.
ROMEO. I make a great milkshake, all my friends say so,
NURSE. Tha's good enough for me, so where should we meet yo, ROMEO. We'll meet at Monk
Larry's place later today,
He'll marry us there, and then we'll say "hurray!"
NURSE. I love small weddings. What could be humbler?
(The NURSE exits.)
MERCUTIO. (Following the nurse:) Excuse me there Miss, could y get your number?
BENVOLIO and ROMEO exit - looking puzzled by MERCUTIO NARRATOR #1 enters. ROMEO
reenters with MONK LARRY,) NARRATOR #1. So Romeo went back to Monk Larry's house. Not
a creature was stirring, not even...
ROMEO. (Screaming in horror:) A Mouse!
(MONK LARRY is holding a stuffed pet rodent.)
MONK LARRY. It ain't a mouse it's a Shnosel-nosed dodrent,
Amongst the tamest of lint-eating rodents.
He lives in my sleeve, with this lint-eating rabbit.
(MONK LARRY produces a pet rabbit from his sleeve.)
Both of them eat clean, my stinky, bad habit.
ROMEO. I'm just so nervous my stomach's a wreck,
Where could they be?
MONK LARRY. Just a sec. I'll go check.
(MONK LARRY exits.)
ROMEO. I do not like his stinky clothes, I do not like his Shnosel nose, I do not like them near or
far, I do not like them in a car, I do not like them in a tunnel, I could not push them through a
funnel,
25
The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet
Lonly love the girl I met,
You
JULIET and NURSE enter.)
Here she comes. Hey Juliet!
JULIET. I'm sorry that we are late in getting here, Thad to use eight cans of spray in my hair.
NURSE. So, don't light a match!
ROMEO. No, I won't, I vow.
1)
JULIET. So, where is the monk?
)
ROMEO. Aw! For crying out loud.
NURSE. I'll go and find him. I think I know where.
He'll be back in a jiffy, so never despair.
(NURSE exits. MONK LARRY returns.)
MONK LARRY. Well I couldn't find Juliet anywhere.
Hey! This girl looks good, how 'bout marry her.
ROMEO. This is Juliet you knucklehead monk!
MONK LARRY. Settle down tiger! I don't need this, Punk!
Okay, kneel down, now lets make this quick, I gotta floss my cat, so he won't stick.
Both of you, make sure your rings are all switched.
You may now kiss the bride, I pronounce you hitched.
NARRATOR #2. Romy and J were now happily married, They both yelled "hurray", and then off
they scurried.
But not all was happy in this neighborhood, Mercutio and Tybalt were up to no good.
It happened that both of them came to a place, Where they stopped and they stood, nose to
nose, face to face.
TYBALT. I am an East going Tybalt, I say,
You're blocking my path, you're right in my way.
MERCUTIO. I am Mercutio, I always go west,
So you'd better step aside if you know best.
TYBALT. Didn't you hear the words from my mouth?
Peter Bloedel
26
I won't budge and inch to the North or the South!
MERCUTIO. I challenge you then, to a bumballoon battle.
TYBALT. You think you can beat me? Hal fiddle-faddle.
MERCUTIO. You want to bumballoon poor Romeo.
TYBALT. Yeah? So big deal, what's it to yo?
(They Fight with balloons roughly tied into the shapes of sword,
ROMEO enters.)
ROMEO. Hold on there fellas! This isn't the way.
Tybalt we're practically kin, I'll explain.
TYBALT. (Aside:) When I finish here, one more victim to go.
(Points at ROMEO:) His name starts with "R" and rhymes with
Omeo.
ROMEO. Hey guys! Quit fighting, 'cuz that's just as bad,
As putting chameleons on top of plaid.
(TYBALT deals the fatal blow to MERCUTIO, leaving his bumbal-loon weapon stuck in
MERCUTIO's chest - or under his arm.)
MERCUTIO. Ouch! Ay-Carumba! I've been bumballooned!
TYBALT. I am the victor of this lame buffoon.
ROMEO. Mercutio!
MERCUTIO. Romeo!
ROMEO. Friend, are you dying?
MERCUTIO. No, I'm feeling fine...and...I am lying.
(MERCUTIO lets out a blood-curdling scream.)
ROMEO. Let me pull this bumballoon from your breast.
MERCUTIO. Please, I'd prefer that you call it my chest.
Yoiks! This thing won't budge.
ROMEO. (Trying to pull out the balloon:) Chest, breast, whatever,
TYBALT. Prepare to die Romeo! I hold a grudge!
The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet
27
ROMEO. Sheesh! This stuck bumballoon's really a pain.
ROMEO finally pulls TYBALT's balloon free. He stumbles backwards from the pull, and kills
TYBALT with his own balloon weapon.)
TYBALT. With my own bumballoon, now I am slain!
[ROMEO is stunned that he just killed TYBALT.)
ROMEO. What in the world? Crap! How did this happen?
(TYBALT quickly wakes up from death to answer ROMEO.)
TYBALT. You caught me off guard. I was too busy yappin'.
(TYBALT drops dead again.)
BENVOLIO. Romeo run! Or you're a sitting duck!
ROMEO. Oh I'm fortune's fool, and the plaything of luck!
(ROMEO exits. The PRINCE, the CAPITULATES and the MONOTONES enter.)
THE PRINCE. What happened here? I'd like to explore The reason there's two dead guys here
on the floor.
BENVOLIO. Tybalt here bumballooned good friend Mercutio, and then got his bell rung by poor,
sweet, young Romeo.
LADY CAPITULATE sees TYBALT's dead body and rushes to him trying to administer CPR,
while delivering her line.)
LADY CAPITULATE. Oh Tybalt-de-dibalt-de-dibalt-de-doo.
My brother's son's third cousin four times removed.
(To the PRINCE:) My kinsman Tybalt lies dead on the floor.
Romeo must die to even the score.
THE PRINCE. Easy there girly-girl! I call the shots.
1am the prince here believe it or not.
I'll banish young Romeo from fair Verona, As soon as I finish this slice of bologna.
(Everyone exits. NARRATOR #1 enters. JULIET enters from the other side. She sits on' a bed
that is rolled into the playing area. This represents her bedroom.)
The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet
27
ROMEO. Sheesh! This stuck bumballoon's really a pain.
ROMEO finally pulls TYBALT's balloon free. He stumbles backwards from the pull, and kills
TYBALT with his own balloon weapon.)
TYBALT. With my own bumballoon, now I am slain!
[ROMEO is stunned that he just killed TYBALT.)
ROMEO. What in the world? Crap! How did this happen?
(TYBALT quickly wakes up from death to answer ROMEO.)
TYBALT. You caught me off guard. I was too busy yappin'.
(TYBALT drops dead again.)
BENVOLIO. Romeo run! Or you're a sitting duck!
ROMEO. Oh I'm fortune's fool, and the plaything of luck!
(ROMEO exits. The PRINCE, the CAPITULATES and the MONOTONES enter.)
THE PRINCE. What happened here? I'd like to explore The reason there's two dead guys here
on the floor.
BENVOLIO. Tybalt here bumballooned good friend Mercutio, and then got his bell rung by poor,
sweet, young Romeo.
LADY CAPITULATE sees TYBALT's dead body and rushes to him trying to administer CPR,
while delivering her line.)
LADY CAPITULATE. Oh Tybalt-de-dibalt-de-dibalt-de-doo.
My brother's son's third cousin four times removed.
(To the PRINCE:) My kinsman Tybalt lies dead on the floor.
Romeo must die to even the score.
THE PRINCE. Easy there girly-girl! I call the shots.
1am the prince here believe it or not.
I'll banish young Romeo from fair Verona, As soon as I finish this slice of bologna.
(Everyone exits. NARRATOR #1 enters. JULIET enters from the other side. She sits on' a bed
that is rolled into the playing area. This represents her bedroom.)
The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet
29
MONK LARRY. Not if you're dead.
Listen, I've got a plan, but it takes guts, And you must eat two of these death faking nuts.
(He holds up a jar labeled - "Death Faking Nuts.")
These death faking nuts, they make you look dead.
Paris can't wed, if the bride's dead in bed.
That you are still living won't be understood,
They 'Il all think you're dead, 'cuz these nuts work good.
Then after the funeral, in a few days,
You'll wake up with Romeo, far, far, away.
JULIET. How'll Romeo know that I'm not really croaked?
MONK LARRY. I'll send him an email, I'll tell him our joke. in your tomb, when the last tread has
been trod, Romeo will sneak in and collect your bod.
JULIET. I'll take the nuts when evening has come.
MONK LARRY. And I'll send an email to Romeo dot com.
MONK LARRY exits. We see ROMEO off to the side fiddling with his computer. Enter
NARRATORS.)
NARRATOR #2. The monk sent his email with details attached
But, Romeo missed it, 'cuz his P.C. crashed.
He never learned Juliet was faking disaster.
ROMEO. Shucks! Now I can't play "Double Sneetch Blaster.
(Exits.)
NARRATOR #1. Surely by now, you can see that it's true, With Dr. Seuss our play has nothing
to do.
NARRATOR #2. We'll say it again, in case you were snoozing, It never dawned on us to make
this a Seuss thing.
NARRATOR #1. Later that night Juliet ate the nuts.
(ULIET eats the nuts looking around and chewing obnoxiously.
Then, very suddenly, she falls over as if dead in her bed.)
NARRATOR #2. Then in the morning, she wouldn't wake up.
Peter Bloedel
30
what the matter is.)
CAPITULATE. What! What's the matter! Is Juliet dead?
TADY CAPITULATE: Is her body colt, 5 there blood on her hey CAPITULATE. Did you check
her pulse? Did you give CPR?
LADY CAPITULATE. Did you give her the Licking Heim-Hen Lick maneuver?
(NURSE shakes her head.)
CAPITULATE. Then why did you scream? Tell me, what's this
about?
NURSE. My leg cramped up, I just got done working out.
(NURSE exits.)
LADY CAPITULATE. I'm so glad to hear Juliet isn't dead.
CAPITULATE. She's just a sound sleeper, she's got a good bed.
A good bed means everything to a sound sleep Now that she's rested, from her bed she'll leap.
LADY CAPITULATE. Juliet wake up it's your lucky day.
(She nudges JULIET.)
CAPITULATE. Today is the day that we give you away.
(Nudges JULIET harder.)
LADY CAPITULATE. We give you to Paris today, the young lord.
(Nudges really hard.)
CAPITULATE. (Lifting her out of bed:) Up! Out of bed! Say, she's stiff
as a board.
LADY CAPITULATE. She's awfully cold, maybe she froze in her dream.
CAPITULATE. Or, maybe she's dead.
LADY CAPITULATE. It's our turn to scream!
The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet
31
(CAPITULATE nods. They scream and exit carrying JULIET's seemingly dead body. The bed
rolls out of sight.)
NARRATOR #1. Meanwhile back on the beach of Kadid, We meet up with Romeo, that's where
he hid.
NARRATOR #2. Benvolio found him there, sunning himself,
Disguised as an "antelope-sun bathing-elf."
BENVOLIO. Romeo wake up, and hear what I say,
Juliet's dead and her funeral's today.
ROMEO, waking up, is having a hard time remembering who Juliet is.)
ROMEO. (Scratching his head:) Juliet, Juliet that name draws a blank,
Help me out here, does she work at the bank?
BENVOLIO. Juliet! She is your own heart's delight, You married her yesterday, she is your wife!
ROMEO. Oooooh! That Juliet. Yeah, that name rings a bell,
Now what was the message you wanted to tell?
BENVOLIO. Juliet's dead!
ROMEO. Are you kidding me?
BENVOLIO. No!
ROMEO. How did she die?
BENVOLIO. Nobody knows.
ROMEO. It must have been her broken heart that went "Crack!" I'll kiss her one last time. I must
now go back!
Then I'll consume this authentic death cracker.
(ROMEO holds up a single soda cracker.)
It'll take me, quickly, out of the picture.
Don't try and stop me, it must be this way,
(BENVOLIO is obviously not trying to stop him.)
Without Juliet, I shan't see one more day.
My ears are deaf to your protestations,
Peter Bloedel
32
(BENVOLIO is not protesting.)
My mind is made up, to have life deprivation.
ROMEO continues.)
There's nothing, Benvolio, that you can do, To keep me from dying, I will follow through.
Don't make a scene now, I've told you my notion, 1am a train and my wheels are in motion.
(He mimics a "choo-choo" train. Realizing he's alone, he og
glances at the audience and blushes.)
Off to Verona I go with my life, To lay it before my corps of my wife.
(ROMEO exits. JULIET's body gets rolled out to center stage. Ho parents and a host of
mourners are around her.)
NARRATOR #1. The mourners took one last look at Julie's body,
Then somebody yelled...
VOICE FROM THE LOBBY. Hey! There's snacks in the lobby.
(All of the mourners rush off stage. Leaving JULIET alone. ROMEC enters.)
ROMEO. Juliet, honey, to get here I ran.
I tripped on a grave stone and fell on my can.
I came here to give your lips just one more kiss, And then, when I'm done, I'm gonna eat this.
He holds up the authentic death cracker dramatically.
It isn't fair that Ilive, when you're dead,
So I'm gonna trade my life for death instead.
Here comes the kiss so pucker up sister,
(They kiss.)
Yippee, yahoo! You're still a great kisser.
That was phase one, now here comes phase two,
I'll eat this cracker, then I'll be dead too.
ROMEO holds the cracker up and makes a big production out o eating it. Suspenseful music
comes on and gets louder as he brings
побс
TEO
The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet
33
the cracker closer to his mouth. ROMEO notices this and plays with the music. He moves the
cracker away from his mouth and the music gets softer, closer - louder, etc. Finally he eats the
cracker and assumes a safety position as if something is going to happen. It doesn't.
He stands up straight and waits. He checks his watch. He whistles.
The NARRATORS enter.)
NARRATOR #2. Now, there's a reason that Romeo's life isn't halting,
NARRATOR #1. 'Cuz we switched his death cracker with a plain saltine.
NARRATOR #2. We've read this show, and it don't end pretty,
NARRATOR #1. So we tweaked the plot a bit- made it less gritty.
NARRATOR #2. Juliet woke up from her death like grip slumber, NARRATOR #1. And
overjoyed, Romeo did a back flip dance number.
(He dances. They hug. MERCUTIO and TYBALT enter.)
NARRATOR #2. Mercutio and Tybalt weren't really dead,
TYBALT. We were just teasing,
MERCUTIO. Playin' with your head.
We're both great pals now,
TYBALT. He's such a good listener.
NARRATOR #1. They'll both be attending the swish fishing opener.
MERCUTIO. Since both of us now have been on hiatus,
We bought this machine that a nice fella made us.
(A "Seuss looking" machine is revealed. It has two openings: One for people to run into the
machine and one for people to run out of the machine.)
TYBALT. It's guaranteed to make angry folks happy,
He ought to know...
MERCUTIO. He's The Feud Fixing Chappie.
Peter Bloedel
34
NARRATOR #1. So all of the members of both families, Went through the machine just as fast
as a breeze.
It took those "x"s and "o"s off their tummies.
DROMFO mId JULIFT com ои, обоз петитое от 1, полито ав,
"hugs and kisses.")
thinking?
MONOTONE. (Checking his tummy:) Wow! Were we dummies!
NARRATOR #2. Long years of bitterness melted away.
NARRATOR #1. Now they had nothing but nice things to say.
NARRATOR #2. Compliments flew!
CAPITULATE. Say! I Like that tie.
(MONOTONE wasn't wearing a tie before. Now he is and it's esp. cially gaudy.)
MONOTONE (LORD). I like your trousers and.. you're a nice guy.
(CAPITULATE wasn't wearing the trousers before. Now he is and they, too, are especially
gaudy.)
NARRATOR #1. There wasn't anyone left who felt bugged,
NARRATOR #2. So, they all partook of a giant group hug.
ALL. Group Hug!
(Lots of "oohs" and "ohs" and snuggly-cuddly language. All leave except for the NARRATORS.)
NARRATOR #1. It was official. The feuding had ended,
The lovers kept loving and the families befriended.
NARRATOR #2. All from both families, sold their bumballoons, And with all the money they
bought a pontoon.
NARRATOR #1. And now every night with the fish and the ducks, They all eat together at
pontoon "potlucks."
Now, you may have noticed that no one here died.
The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet
35
NARRATOR #2. What? Can we help it if our prologue lied?
But come onl That's no way to end a good play.
NARRATOR #1. Dr. Seuss wouldn't I'd venture to say.
NARRATOR #2. That's right, he wouldn't, and neither would we,
Even though our play is Dr. Seuss-free.
NARRATOR #1. Well okay, it did have a few small Seuss-isms, Some overblown rhyming, and
minor plot schisms.
NARRATOR #2. This stuff is dangerous.
NARRATOR #1. It shouldn't be tried!
NARRATOR #2. To interpret William Shakespeare, Seussified.
NARRATOR #1. Leave that to the artists, they've had the right
schoolin'
(The cast appears behind the NARRATORS.)
NARRATOR #2. They are the pros,
BOTH. And they know what their doin'.
(Narrators step back into the line of actors and they all join hands.)
NARRATOR #1. We hope you've enjoyed this tragic lament.
NARRATOR #2. 'Cus we've all enjoyed it...
ALL. One-Hundred percent!
(All bow and blackout.)
End of Play
First Optional Ending
of Romeo and Juliet speed recap is as follows:)
NARRATOR #1. Ladies and Menfolk.
NARRATOR #2. Women and Gents.
BOTH. Romeo and Juliet! Our Prologue's addressed!
PROLOGUE. Verona's the place that our play is from,
We just gotta tell you don't try this at home.
(West Side Story music.)
ABRAM. Did you bite your thumb?
GREGORY. Yeah! See the pus?
ALL. Let's fight.
CAPITULATE. Monotone you're a creep!
MONOTONE. You're a creep!
CAPITULATE. You're a creep!
MONOTONE. You're a creep!
NARRATOR #1. Enter the Prince, the royal sap...
THE PRINCE. Will you Jerks knock it off? I'm taking a nap!
MONOTONE. Where's Romeo?
LADY MONOTONE. There!
ROMEO. Oh, I'm cooked Rare!
NARRATOR #1. Sneezle Fruit Juice! No Dr. Seuss!
NARRATOR #2. Suitor for Julie- He's with her Dad.
PARIS, Capitulate I'm hot! Here have some candy!
CAPITULATE (LORD). Why thank-you boy, I think you'll be dandy!
SERVANT OF CAPITULATE. I can't read! Woe is me. What is my
fate?
36
The seissyand some and Juliet
37
party! This party sounds great!
_ONFO. (can read Blat, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, come to the
BENVOLIO. Yeah!
SERVANT OF CAPITULATE. Yeah!
NURSE. Sweet chimpanzeezle... Where are you, you weasel?
JULIET. Is this a moment I'll Cherish?
TADY CAPITULATE. Of course it is girly, you're marrying Paris.
NARRATOR #2. Zip-zip sha-bang also known as Mercutio.
MERCUTIO. Do you want to live you're whole life in a hole?
CAPITULATE (LORD). Good evening Gents...watch me dance-
I've got soul.
(Dance music.)
ROMEO. Ei-hotchee-mama!
TYBALT. Uncle your house has a monotone there.
CAPITULATE (LORD). Did you lose this mitten? Wow he has nice hair!
ROMEO. I think you're hot!
JULIET. Here hold my gum!
ROMEO. Wow! That's good gum! Yum ditty yum.
NARRATOR #1. Later that night.
BENVOLIO. Where'd Romeo go?
MERCUTIO. He went home to bed!
BENVOLIO. He's not in his bed!
MERCUTIO. You need a new head!
JULIET. Romeo baby-o
ROMEO. Kiss me through the horny-o
(Bullhorn siren.)Peter Bloedel
38
NARRATOR #2. Romeo ran to Larry the monkey!
ROMEO. Monkey Larry, will you marry me?
MONK LARRY. Okay my young pup, I'll tie your knot.
BENVOLIO. Hey Romy, what gives? You didn't go back to y place where you live.
ROMEO. This new girl I found past the hot mama test!
ALL. Yippy, okay ei yeeea!
NURSE. Romeo Monotone, what makes you great?
ROMEO. Everyone knows that I make a great shake!
NURSE. Where should we meet you?
ROMEO. Monk Larry's
NURSE. What's Humbler!
MERCUTIO. Hey baby! Don't leave me. Can I get your numbler?
ROMEO. Hey Juliet.
JULIET. I used eight cans of hairspray!
MONK LARRY. She looks good.... Marry her... I now pronounce
you hitched.
NARRATOR #2. Mercutio and Tybalt were up to no good.
TYBALT. Move!
MERCUTIO. No!
TYBALT. Die!
MERCUTIO. Eieeee!
ROMEO. Mercutio!
MERCUTIO. Romeo!
ROMEO. Let me pull this bumballoon from your breast.
MERCUTIO. It's my chest not my breast!
TYBALT. I am bumballooned!
The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet
39
ROMEO. Crap!
LADY CAPITULATE. Romeo must die.
THE PRINCE. Bologna!
JULIET. This is the pits... They'd have me wed Paris.
MONK LARRY. Not if you're dead. Eat these nuts!
NARRATOR #2. Romeo's P.C. Crashed!
ROMEO. Double Sneetch Blaster!
NURSE. (Scream.)
CAPITULATE. Is she dead?
NURSE. Yes!
CAPITULATE / LADY CAPITULATE. (Scream.)
BENVOLIO. Juliet's dead!
ROMEO. Are you kidding me?
BENVOLIO. No!
ROMEO. Sorry I'm late Jules, I fell on my can!
(They kiss.)
Now I'm the death cracker consuming man!
NARRATOR #1. Romeo danced! And not even once died.
NARRATOR #2. Nobody's dead! They're all still alive.
BOTH. Group hug!
NARRATOR #1. We hope you've enjoyed this tragic lament.
NARRATOR #2. 'Cuz we've all enjoyed it.
ALL. One hundred percent!...
End of Play
Second Optional Ending
(To keep each production of this play fresh, the playwright allows each respective playing
company the freedom to construct their own
"second optional ending." However, the playwright has two rules: »
It must be a humorous, and a final recap of the show 2) It must take much less time than the
first "additional, optional ending.")
(Examples: The second, additional, optional ending could be a recap of the show done
backwards in 30 seconds. Or, it could be done in Portuguese. Or, it could be done backwards in
30 seconds and in Portuguese.)
(A possible "backwards" scenario is given:)
(The pace should be a bit frenzied, with actors running into place, delivering their lines and then
running to the next place.)
(An example is below.)
ALL. (Delivering lines as if listening to a tape backwards:) Faster and Backwards! …Percent
Hundred-One.
BOTH NARRATORS. Hug group.
ROMEO. Cracker death eat gotta I!
CAPITULATE/ LADY CAPITULATE. (Scream.)
NURSE. Yes!
CAPITULATE (LORD). Dead she is?
NURSE. (Screams.)
JULIET. Pits the is this.
THE PRINCE. Bologna!
LADY CAPITULATE. Die must Romeo!
TYBALT. Bumballooned am I!
MERCUTIO. Breast my not chest my it's.
ROMEO. Test mama hot. Girl new a found I.
MONK LARRY. Knot your tie I'll pup young my okay.
ROMEO. Me marry you will Larry Monkey?
40
'S
The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet
ROMEO. Horn the through me kiss.
JULIET. Buff o baby Romeo.
MERCUTIO. Head new a need you!
BENVOLIO. Go Romeo where'd
NARRATOR #1. Night that later.
JULIET. Gum my hold here
ROMEO. Hot you're think I. Mama hotchee Ei!
CAPITULATE. Dance to want I.
LADY CAPITULATE. Paris marrying you're!
NURSE. Weasel you, you are where...chimpanzeezle sweet.
ROMEO. Great sounds party this. Blah, blah, blah read can I.
CAPITULATE. Dandy be you'll think I.
PARIS. Hot I'm Capitulate.
NARRATOR #2. Dad her with He's Julie for suitor.
NARRATOR #1. Juice fruit sneezle.
ROMEO. Rare cooked I'm.
THE PRINCE. Off it knocks jerks you will.
MONOTONE. Creep a you're.
CAPITULATE. Creep a you're.
MONOTONE. Creep a you're.
CAPITULATE. Creep a you're Monotone.
SAMPSON / GREGORY / ABRAM / BALTHAZAR. Fight let's.
GREGORY. Pus the see, Yeah!
ABRAM. Thumb your bite you did?
PROLOGUE. Place the Verona's
41
42
Peter Bloedel
BOTH NARRATORS. Addressed prologue's our, Juliet and Ro
meo.
NARRATOR #2. Gents and women.
NARRATOR #1. Menfolk and ladies.
(All characters run onto the stage, take a bow and drop dead on the stage - exhausted.)
(Lights out.)
(Final curtain call.)
End of Play