Introduction:

Love is an elusive concept. On the one hand, we all know and have experienced what love is. On the
other hand, when it is time to give a definition of love, we all may deliver a variety of definitions of love.
When we are asked to answer what love is, we may define love from different perspectives like love for
family members, love for friends, or lovers.

Definition of Love:
Love has many dimensions which can involve romantic obsession, affection, excitement, feelings of
security, sexuality etc.

 A very strong feeling of liking and caring for somebody or something, especially a member of
family or a friend (Oxford Dictionary).

 To like another adult very much and be romantically and sexually attracted to them, or to have
strong feelings of liking a friend or person in family (Cambridge Dictionary).

 Three elements are necessary for a valid love relationship, however: 1. the willingness to please
and accommodate the other, even if this entails compromises and sacrifices; 2. acceptance of
the other person’s faults and shortcomings; and 3. as much concern about the loved ones
welfare as one’s own (Safilios Rothschild 1977. 6).

Types of love (according to lee):

There are many types of love, and what people mean by love and how they express it may change over
time.

Lee (1973, 1974) collected over 4,000 documents and writings from fiction and non-fiction including the
Bible and Greek, Roman, and modern writers.

He then administrated a 30-item questionnaire to various people in several cities in Great Britain, and
Canada. From their responses, Lee derives six basic styles of love.

1. Eros:
The root of the word “eros” is “erotic”. Eros is love of beauty characterized as love at first sight.
It is a passionate and intense form of love that is characterized by strong physical attraction and
desire. It is often associated with romantic love and can involve a strong desire for physical
intimacy.
An erotic lovers wants to reveal everything to the loved one what she or he dreamed about last
night, what happened on the bus today, how second-grade teacher embarrassed him or her.

2. Mania:
Mania means madness characterized as jealousy, possessiveness and intense dependency.
It is a type of love that is characterized by intense emotions, obsessive thoughts, and
possessiveness. It can be overwhelming and may lead to jealousy, anxiety, and insecurity.
 3. Ludus:
Ludus is carefree and casual love that is considered “fun and game”. Ludic lovers engage in sex
for fun, not emotional rapport. They want to control their feelings, they are not possessive or
jealous, and they don’t want lovers to become dependent on them.

4. Storge:
Storge is a slow-burning, peaceful, and affectionate love that “just comes naturally” with the
passage of time and the enjoyment of shared activities. Sex occurs late in the relationship, and
the goals are usually marriage, home, and children. Even if a breakup occurs, storgic lovers are
likely to remain good friends.

5. Agape:
Agape is a selfless and unconditional type of love that is characterized by a willingness to
sacrifice and care for others. It is often associated with religious or spiritual beliefs and may
involve a sense of empathy, compassion, and forgiveness.

6. Pragma:
Pragma is a type of love that is based on practicality and reason rather than passion or emotion.
This type of love is characterized by a focus on shared values, goals, and interests, rather than
on physical or emotional attraction. In other words, individuals who experience pragma are
more interested in finding a partner who is compatible with them in terms of their lifestyle,
beliefs, and ambitions, rather than simply being attracted to them on a superficial level.

Maslow’s Theory of Love as Need:

Maslow referred to the first four levels of need as D-needs, or Deficiency-needs, and to the last three
levels as B-needs, or Being-needs.

1. Self-actualization.
2. Aesthetic.
3. Intellectual.
4. Self-esteem.
5. Love and belongingness.
6. Safety.
7. Biological.
He emphasized that the needs at each level must be net before a person can move up to the next level.
Maslow emphasized that in marriage D-love refers to all forms of self-centered love whereby two
people love each other because the needs of each are met by the other. D-love may be fragmented. For
example, a woman may enjoy her spouse as a sexual partner because he meets her biological and
emotional need but dislike him in some other ways because of his sense of values.

In contrast, being-love is giving and unselfish. Instead of loving someone because he or she fulfills the
other’s needs, a person exhibiting being-love appreciates the other person regardless of his or her
weaknesses and limitations. Because being-love is not possessive, both partners can grow and mature.

Maslow recognized that there is some mixture of D-love and B-love in every relationship.

Types of love
Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love proposes that love is composed of three primary components:
intimacy, passion, and commitment. Using this framework, we can understand how different types of
love may emphasize or prioritize certain dimensions over others. Here are some examples of different
types of love and how they relate to the dimensions of love:

Romantic love: Romantic love is characterized by high levels of intimacy and passion, but may be lower
in commitment. An example of romantic love is the early stages of a relationship, where two people feel
deeply connected and intensely attracted to each other, but may not yet have made a long-term
commitment to each other.

Erotic love:

Erotic love emphasizes passion and physical attraction, but may be lower in intimacy and commitment.
An example of erotic love is a purely physical or sexual relationship, where two people are primarily
driven by desire and pleasure rather than emotional connection.

Dependent love:

Dependent love prioritizes intimacy and commitment over passion. It is characterized by a strong
emotional bond between two people who rely on each other for support and security. An example of
dependent love is a long-term marriage or partnership where the two partners may not experience the
same level of passion they once did, but remain committed to each other through thick and thin.

Friendship love:

Friendship love prioritizes intimacy and commitment, but may be lower in passion. It is characterized by
a deep emotional connection between two people who share common interests, values, and
experiences. An example of friendship love is a close platonic relationship between two friends who may
not experience romantic or sexual attraction, but care deeply for each other nonetheless.

Altruistic love:

Altruistic love prioritizes commitment over intimacy and passion. It is characterized by a selfless
devotion to another person's well-being, often at the expense of one's own needs and desires. An
example of altruistic love is a parent's love for their child, where the parent may sacrifice their own
happiness or comfort in order to support and care for their child.

Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment:

Love is a complex and multifaceted emotion that can take on many different forms, each with its own
unique dimensions. While there are many ways to categorize the dimensions of love, one popular
framework is Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love, which proposes that love is composed of three
primary components: intimacy, passion, and commitment.

Intimacy:

Intimacy refers to the emotional connection and closeness that two people share. This can include
feelings of warmth, affection, trust, and vulnerability. An example of a relationship that is high in
intimacy is a close friendship, where two people share their deepest thoughts, feelings, and experiences
with one another.

Passion:

Passion refers to the physical and sexual attraction that two people share. This can include feelings of
desire, excitement, and arousal. An example of a relationship that is high in passion is a new romantic
relationship, where two people can't keep their hands off each other and are constantly seeking out
new experiences together.

Commitment:

Commitment refers to the decision to stay with and support one another through thick and thin. This
can include feelings of loyalty, dedication, and responsibility. An example of a relationship that is high in
commitment is a long-term marriage, where two people have built a life together and are committed to
working through any challenges that arise.

It's important to note that these dimensions of love are not mutually exclusive, and that a healthy
relationship ideally involves a balance of all three. For example, a strong romantic relationship may
involve high levels of intimacy, passion, and commitment, while a close friendship may be characterized
by intimacy and commitment, but less passion. Ultimately, the dimensions of love can vary widely
depending on the individuals involved and the nature of their relationship.