I.

Biological Model of Love

As proposed by anthropologist Helen Fisher, there are three brain systems of love: lust, attraction,
and attachment. Each also involves different neurochemicals in the brain. Depending on a person, a love
relationship can start in any of these three.
1. Lust refers to an urge or desire that motivates us to partake in sexual activity. It is also described as a
sex drive associated primarily with estrogens and androgens.

2. Attraction is described as the love-struck phase. It involves focusing attention on a particular person.
Many factors influence attraction such as physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, and reciprocity.
a. Physical Attractiveness is one of the primary determinants of romantic attraction. Most people
prefer whom they consider physically attractive especially in the early stages of dating.
b. Proximity can be explained when people tend to get attracted to people who are geographically
closer to them. They are more likely to develop feelings of mutual familiarity with the people who
live close to them. For example, being attracted to a classmate since you regularly see the person.
c. Similarity is when people choose partners whom they find similarities such as social class,
religious beliefs, and education. It explains when two people share more attitudes and opinions, the
more they will want to do the same activities. As a result, they would create a strong bond between
them.

d. Reciprocity means people like others who like them back. The more a person is liked by someone,
the more he/she behaves in ways that promote mutual feelings of liking.

3. Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another. Usually,
long-lasting commitments are exchanged when people are attached even across time and space.

II. Triangular Theory of Love

There are three main components of love as suggested by Robert Stenberg (1988). These are intimacy,
passion, and commitment. The relationships vary and depend on the presence or absence of each of these
components.

Intimacy is an interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. It is

characterized by closeness, connectedness, and boundedness.
Passion is described as an intense emotion towards a person. It is also shown as compelling
interest for someone. Like having a desire to spend time with a person most of the time.
Commitment is an act of deciding to consistently fulfill and live by agreements with another person.
Wherein, the values of integrity and respect are evident in the relationship. Ways to express commitment in
a relationship are showing loyalty and conveying honesty.

Types of Intimacy Passion Commitment Example

 Love
Liking Yes No No Friendships
Infatuation No Yes No Experiencing love at first sight or being
obsessed with a person
Empty Love No No Yes Stagnant Relationships or Arrange marriage
Fatuous No Yes Yes Relationships motivated by a passion
Companionate Yes No Yes Relationships lacking passion such as those
between family members or close friends
Romantic Yes Yes No Being bonded emotionally and physically to
another person
Consummate Yes Yes Yes Complete love

III. Theory Love Styles

Ancient Greeks studied love and giving each type a Greek name. Lee (1973) offers a theory derived
from an analysis of writings about love through centuries.
Philia – Affectionate Love usually runs deep in true friendship. It occurs without romantic attraction
between friends or family members. It is also called brotherly love when both people share the same values
and respect. It can be shown by engaging in deep conversation, exchanging beliefs and imperfections,
being open and trustworthy, and being supportive in difficult times.
Pragma – Enduring Love is described as a mature love that develops over time. To reach this
relationship commitment and efforts are needed. With the partner by your side, you are "standing in love"
instead of "falling in love". It is expressed by strengthening the bond, seeking and showing effort with your
partner, and choosing to work with your partner.
Storge – Familiar love is a naturally occurring love rooted in parents and children, as well as best
friends. It’s an infinite love built upon acceptance and deep emotional connection. It usually flows between
parents and children or childhood friends. Ways to show this love are sacrificing one's time, self, or
personal pleasures, showing gratitude, and quickly forgiving. You also share memorable and impactful
moments.
Eros – Romantic Love is characterized by personal infatuation and physical pleasure.
It is a passionate love displayed through physical affection. In this case, admiration is focused on
someone's physical body. Hence, the couple engages in physical touch such as hugging and kissing even
if it not appropriate yet.
Ludus – Playful love is a child-like and flirtatious love found in the beginning. This type of love
consists of teasing and playful motives between two people. It is shown by having fun together.
Mania – Obsessive Love as named is described as obsessiveness or madness over love. It leads
to unwanted jealousy or possessiveness. To avoid it, obsessive or possessive behavior must be
recognized to be properly addressed. One should learn to focus on oneself more than another person.
Philautia – Self Love is having a healthy “self-compassion” towards one’s self.
It is when you recognize your self-worth and don’t ignore your personal needs. Self-love begins with
acknowledging your responsibility for your well-being.
 Agape – Selfless Love is the highest love to offer. It is an empathetic attitude of love. It is given
without any expectations of receiving anything in return. It is considered unconditional love. It is expressed
by helping the other person improve his life.
Love Language Description
 "Actions don't always speak louder than the word".
 Unsolicited compliments mean the world to you.
Words of  Wanting to hear "I love you" or other positive compliments you're your partner. And if you
don't hear it, then you might feel unloved.
Affirmation
 Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
 You wanted to hear kind and encouraging words that build you up.

 Doing nice things for other people and anything you do to ease the burden of the other
person are "acts of service."
 Whether it's changing someone's oil, cleaning the house, or giving a back rub, doing things
Acts of Service to help make the other person happy is what this one is about.
 Helping with homework can be an expression of love for you.
 The words you wanted to hear are "Let me do it for you".

 You value giving and receiving gifts and some do not.

 So, if you measure your partner’s love by how many gifts you are given, then your love
language is “receiving gifts.”
Receiving Gifts  Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of the gifts wanted on the
love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift.
 A missed birthday or a thoughtless gift would be disastrous.

 You measure the quality of love by how much time other people want to spend with you.
 If you don't get enough "together time," then you might feel unloved.
Quality Time  Being there for this type of person is critical, but being there – with the TV off, fork and
knife down, and all chores and tasks standby makes you feel truly special and loved.
 Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be hurtful.

 A person whose primary language is physical touch is not very touchy.

 Hugs, pats on the back, holding a hand and thoughtful touches on the arm can show
excitement, concern, care, and love.
Physical Touch  Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable
and destructive.
 Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.

1. Important aspects to nurture a relationship are the following: mutual respect, compassion,
empathy, understanding, acceptance, honesty, trust, good communication, consideration,
compatibility, mutual enjoyment, personal dignity, vulnerability.
2. To become responsible in a relationship in real life requires practicing self- awareness. The
following ways to use the empowering action of taking responsibility are important for you and
your family, friends, or partner to use and practice in your relationship.
 Be Honest
 Act on Situations, Don’t React
 Be Willing to Forgive Your Other People and Yourself

Roles of Individuals and the Influence of Leadership or Followership

Social relationships are your interactions with other people. These kinds of
relationships vary from the “degree of intimacy and vulnerability you offer to other people so as to
cooperate and achieve a certain objective” (Torres 2017, 3).
There are four (4) main types of relationships that influence you as an adolescent: (1) Parents, (2)
Peers, (3) Community, and (4) Society.

Leadership is the ability of the person in authority to guide others to achieve certain goals.
Followership is the act or condition of following a leader.
Being a follower is not passive, one must be a critical thinker and interactive in the act of helping
the leader achieve the goal/s. Thus, the leader and the follower need each other. There is a
dynamic relationship of mutual benefit and support between them.

- Political leaders - These are the people who create and implement the laws of the land.
They are the role models through which we follow the laws.
- Religious leaders - These are the individuals who guide their followers according to their
faith. They are keepers of religious traditions and are also moral leaders.
- Teachers - They are the educators of young minds. They impart knowledge to the young
generation to become the next generation of leaders.
- Children - They are the ones that need to be taken care of and ensured that they are
supported with the services they most need.
- Church members - They are the people who commit to practicing their faith. They let their
faith grow and carry out their faith traditions.
- Celebrities - They are the people who promote ethical behavior and responsible personal
decisions. They are also expected to show good behaviors as they are always seen in
public.

Social influence is another important concept in social relationships. Some social influences are
known as:
- conformity - is behaving as others do. This is desiring to belong to peers and seek
their approval to feel that you are one of them.
- compliance – an individual is doing something that another individual has told them to do.
This is also another way of an adolescent to feel that they belong with peers.
- obedience – this is accepting and doing something directed to you by a person you look up to
as someone in authority. In most cases in obedience, you believe that you don’t have a
choice.

Perception of Oneself and Others

Self-concept is the person’s awareness or thinking about himself/herself. Self-concept is
developed in ways like a person’s interactions with others and their reaction to him/her and
comparisons to other people (as in superiority and inferiority, similarity and difference).

Next, self-esteem is the specific evaluation or judgment a person creates about the self-
concept. Self-esteem affects the way a person communicates and behaves by which this concept
varies throughout life and the context a person is in.

Lastly, self-efficacy is developed through experiences. This is also about the person’s
extent of seeing himself/herself as an effective individual.