The Mind and the Heart of the negotiator

Chapter 7: Establishing Trust

and Building Relationships
 Money vs. Relationships
A successful, win-win negotiation is not just about
maximizing money or economic value.
The true definition of a win-win agreement is one that
allows negotiators to fully maximize whatever
negotiators care about, which can include:
• Love
• Money
• Services
• Goods
• Status
• Information

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Money vs. Relationships
Each of these valued resources varies in terms of:
• Particularism – how much utility we derive depends on the provider.
• Concreteness – the tangibility of the resource.

Resources that May be Exchanged in a Relationship

Subjective value inventory –
assesses four major
concerns:
• Feelings about instrumental
outcomes
• Feelings about themselves
• Feelings about the process
• Feelings about their
relationships

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Money vs. Relationships – Rapport

• Rapport refers to
feelings of closeness,
understanding, and
harmony among people
in relationships.
• In negotiation, the
creation of rapport is
primarily influenced by
the counterparty’s verbal
behavior and the
interaction behaviors of
both negotiators.

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Money vs. Relationships – Sequential
Negotiations & Bargaining History
• It stands to reason that
negotiators’ previous
experience or history
with one another can
strongly influence how
they behave in the
future.
• In some situations,
negotiators have an
asymmetric history,
such that one party
benefits at the expense
of another.
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 Trust & Temptation
Trust = the willingness to make oneself vulnerable
to another person.

• The paradox is that most

negotiations offer some
incentive for people to
behave in an
untrustworthy fashion.
• Trust propensity refers to
a negotiator’s belief in
others’ trustworthiness
and can increase
information exchange and
decrease distributive
behaviors.
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 Trust & Temptation – Three Types of
Trust in Relationships

There are three types of trust in relationships:

Deterrence-based trust; Knowledge-based trust; Identification-based trust
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Trust & Temptation – Three Types of
Trust in Relationships

Deterrence-based trust:
• Based on consistency of
behavior – following
through on what you
promise to do

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Trust & Temptation – Three Types of
Trust in Relationships

Knowledge-based
trust:
• Grounded in behavioral
predictability (when a
person has enough
information about
others to understand
them and accurately
predict their behavior)

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Trust & Temptation – Three Types of
Trust in Relationships

Identification-based trust:
• Grounded in complete
empathy with another
person’s desires and
intentions.

Familiarity

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 Trust & Temptation – Building Trust
How does a person build
trust through cognitive
(rational and deliberate)
means of influence?
• Transform relationship conflict
into task conflict
• Agree on a common goal or
shared vision
• Capitalize on social network
connections
• Find a shared problem or a
common enemy
• Focus on the future
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 Trust & Temptation – Building Trust
What psychological (affective route – based on intuition and
emotion) strategies can be used to build trust between parties?

• Similarity-attraction effect: Negotiators are

more likely to make concessions with
people they know and like.
• Mere exposure effect: The more we are
exposed to something the more we like it.
• Physical proximity: Students seated
alphabetically in a classroom, more likely to
form friendships.
• Reciprocity principle: We feel obligated to
return what others have offered or given to
us.
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 Trust & Temptation – Building Trust
What psychological (affective route – based on intuition and
emotion) strategies can be used to build trust between parties?

• Schmoozing (small talk): Even a short

exchange can lead people to develop
trust.
• Flattery: People like others who
appreciate and admire them.
• Mimicry and mirroring: Negotiators who
mimic mannerisms of their opponents
secure better outcomes and greater joint
gains.
• Self-affirmation: Negotiator focuses on an
important personal value.
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Trust & Temptation – Distrust and Suspicion

What situations lead to

distrust?
• Trust breaches or defections
• High need for closure: People
differ in terms of their need for
closure (how certain they
want and expect the world to
be)

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Trust & Temptation – Distrust and Suspicion

What situations lead to distrust?

• Dispositional attributions: Questions another person’s
character and intentions by citing them as the cause of a
behavior or incident (e.g., arrogance, greed). Situational
attribution cites one or more situational factors as the
cause of a behavior or incident (e.g., a traffic jam, a faulty
mail-delivery system).
• Focusing on the “bad apple”: One person in team has a
bad reputation for being less trustworthy, tougher, or less
easy to work with than other members of the group.

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 Trust & Temptation – Building Trust

Key Components of Apology

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Description Example
Expression of regret Negotiator expresses sorrow that “I am so sorry that my opening offer for your
they offended the counterparty house offended you”

Explanation Negotiator explains the reasons for “I was basing my offer on some
their actions comparables that I had downloaded on the
internet”
Acknowledgement of responsibility
Negotiator assumes (some) “It is my fault that I did not consider the
responsibility for the offense updates you have made on your home”

Declaration of repentance
Negotiator vows to change their “In the future, I will make sure to explain my
future behavior thinking and engage in a conversation”

Offer of repair Negotiator takes steps to rebuild “Is there a way we can move forward?”
trust

Request for forgiveness Negotiator asks to be forgiven “Please forgive my hasty email offer”

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Relationships in Negotiation

• Relationships influence not

only how people negotiate,
but also their choice of
interaction partners.
• Negotiators who reach an
impasse in a prior
negotiation are more likely
to do the same in their
next negotiation or reach a
low-value deal.

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Relationships vs Talent
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