Topic

Some people say that computers can translate languages, so children need not study foreign
languages anymore. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your Response
In the state-of-the-art world where technology is dominating, it is not uncommon that computers can
be easily in charge of translating different languages all over the world. That's why many people hold
the opinion that obtaining a new language is no longer a necessity. From my perspective, I strongly
oppose to this opinion due to several underlying reasons High-modern translating devices like
computers are undoubtedly advantageous in today's world, however there are still other
circumstances when truly acquiring a new language is preferable. When children are fluent in a
particular language, it allows them to deliver their message and intent comprehensively. This is
because fluency in a language ensures a smooth conversation flow, without the intervention of high-
tech translating applications that may takes time to translate , young people can instantly comprehend
the other's ideas. Not to mention, many interpreting apps require network to function which can be a
source of inconvenience to some extent. To be specific, some remote or off-the-beaten-track places
are free of network and that is why translating means are useless in these cases.

Absorbing a foreign language is conductive to children's cognitive development, not simply just for
communicating. Particularly, when kids get a chance to exposed to a new language, their innate brain
function is much more flexible than those who only master their mother tongue according to linguistic
research by [Link]. Furthermore, the language acquisition is often in compatible with exposing
to the culture of that specific nation. This can broaden their mind, enrich their experience and start to
appreciate the cultural aspect that is embedded in a particular region of that country. With the
aforementioned reasons, I firmly believe that mastering a new language is undoubtedly of great
importance in shaping young minds and transmiting communicative intent.

Correct Grammar Errors

In thethis state-of-the-art world where technology is dominating, it is not uncommon that computers
can be easilyeasily be in charge of translating different languages all over the world. That's why many
people hold the opinion that obtaining a new language is no longer a necessity. From my perspective,
I strongly oppose to this opinion due to several underlying reasons. High-modern translating devices
like computers are undoubtedly advantageous in today's world, howeverworld; however, there are still
other circumstances when truly acquiring a new language is preferable. When children are fluent in a
particular language, it allows them to deliver their message and intent comprehensively. This is
because fluency in a language ensures a smooth conversation flow, withoutflow. Without the
intervention of high-tech translating applications that may takestake time to translate ,translate, young
people can instantly comprehend the other's ideas. Not to mention, many interpreting apps require a
network to function, which can be a source of inconvenience to some extent. To be specific, some
remote or off-the-beaten-track places are free of network, and that is why translating means are
useless in these cases.

Absorbing a foreign language is conductiveconducive to children's cognitive development, not simply

just for communicating. Particularly, when kids get a chance to be exposed to a new language, their
innate brain function is much more flexible than those who only master their mother tongue, according
to linguistic research by [Link]. Furthermore, theB.F. Skinner. Furthermore, language
acquisition is often in compatible with exposing them to the culture of that specific nation. This can
broaden their mind,minds, enrich their experienceexperiences, and help them start to appreciate the
cultural aspect that isaspects embedded in a particular region of that country. With the
aforementioned reasons, I firmly believe that mastering a new language is undoubtedly of great
importance in shaping young minds and transmitingtransmitting communicative intent.

Estimated Band Score.

Task Response (TR): 7.
The essay directly addresses the prompt and presents a clear stance. The arguments are relevant,
but could be more fully developed with more specific examples. The format is appropriate for a Task 2
essay.
● Relevance to Prompt: 7
● Clarity of Position: 8
● Depth of Ideas: 6
● Appropriateness of Format: 7
● Relevant & Specific Examples: 6
● Appropriate Word Count: 9

Coherence & Cohesion (CC): 6.

The essay is generally organised, but the introduction could be more effective. The conclusion is
somewhat abrupt. Paragraphing is mostly adequate, but the connection between ideas could be
strengthened with better use of cohesive devices.
● Logical Organization: 6
● Effective Introduction & Conclusion: 5
● Supported Main Points: 6
● Cohesive Devices Usage: 5
● Paragraphing: 6

Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA): 5.

The essay uses a range of sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that impede
clarity. Punctuation is also inconsistently applied.
● Sentence Structure Variety: 6
● Grammar Accuracy: 5
● Punctuation Usage: 5

Lexical Resource (LR): 6.

The vocabulary used is adequate for the topic, but some word choices are unnatural or inaccurate.
Spelling and word formation are generally correct.
● Vocabulary Range: 6
● Lexical Accuracy: 5
● Spelling and Word Formation: 6
Est. Overall Band Score: 6.

Detailed Assessment
Improve Each Paragraph
INTRODUCTION
"In the state-of-the-art world where technology is dominating, it is not uncommon that computers can
be easily in charge of translating different languages all over the world. That's why many people hold
the opinion that obtaining a new language is no longer a necessity. From my perspective, I strongly
oppose to this opinion due to several underlying reasons"

Comments.
● Task Response/Task Achievement: The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer's
position (disagreement). However, the reasons for disagreement are not previewed, which
would strengthen the essay's clarity and structure. The opening sentence is a bit lengthy and
could be more concise.
○ Proof: "In the state-of-the-art world where technology is dominating, it is not
uncommon that computers can be easily in charge of translating different languages
all over the world." This sentence is wordy and could be streamlined.
○ Proof: The introduction states "several underlying reasons" but does not hint at what
these reasons will be.
○ Suggestion: Briefly mention the main arguments (e.g., cognitive benefits, cultural
understanding) to give the reader a roadmap.
● Coherence and Cohesion: The paragraph flows logically from introducing the contemporary
situation to presenting the opposing viewpoint and the writer's stance. The transition "That's
why" is appropriate.
○ Proof: The paragraph moves from the prevalence of translation technology to the
resulting opinion and then to the writer's disagreement.
○ Suggestion: Adding a phrase to preview the body paragraphs would enhance
cohesion.
● Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The sentence structure is mostly complex, which is
good, but there are some minor accuracy issues.
○ Proof: "it is not uncommon that computers can be easily in charge of translating" -
the phrasing is slightly awkward.
○ Suggestion: "it is not uncommon for computers to be easily responsible for
translating".
● Lexical Resource: The vocabulary is generally appropriate, with some good attempts at
more sophisticated terms.
○ Proof: "state-of-the-art," "dominating," "obtaining," "necessity," "strongly oppose."
○ Suggestion: "obtaining a new language" could be more naturally phrased as
"learning a new language."

How to rewrite.
"In today's technologically advanced world, computers are increasingly capable of translating
languages globally. Consequently, some argue that learning foreign languages is no longer essential.
However, I strongly disagree with this viewpoint for several key reasons."
BODY PARAGRAPH 1
"High-modern translating devices like computers are undoubtedly advantageous in today's world,
however there are still other circumstances when truly acquiring a new language is preferable. When
children are fluent in a particular language, it allows them to deliver their message and intent
comprehensively. This is because fluency in a language ensures a smooth conversation flow, without
the intervention of high-tech translating applications that may takes time to translate , young people
can instantly comprehend the other's ideas. Not to mention, many interpreting apps require network to
function which can be a source of inconvenience to some extent. To be specific, some remote or off-
the-beaten-track places are free of network and that is why translating means are useless in these
cases."

Comments.
● Task Response/Task Achievement: This paragraph effectively supports the writer's
disagreement by highlighting the limitations of translation tools and the benefits of fluency.
However, the ideas could be more developed. The link between fluency and comprehensive
communication is present but could be elaborated further.
○ Proof: The paragraph discusses the convenience of instant comprehension with
fluency versus the delay of translation apps.
○ Proof: The issue of network dependency for translation apps is a valid point.
○ Suggestion: Elaborate on why fluency allows for more comprehensive
communication beyond just speed – e.g., understanding nuances, tone, and cultural
context that apps might miss.
● Coherence and Cohesion: The paragraph starts by acknowledging the advantages of
technology but quickly pivots to the preference for language acquisition. The points about
fluency, speed, and network dependency follow logically. However, the transition between
sentences could be smoother.
○ Proof: The paragraph begins by acknowledging the alternative ("however") and then
proceeds to explain the benefits of learning languages.
○ Suggestion: The phrase "Not to mention" is a bit informal for an IELTS essay.
● Grammatical Range and Accuracy: There are several grammatical errors that detract from
the clarity and sophistication of the writing.
○ Proof: "High-modern translating devices" is an unusual and awkward phrasing.
"High-tech" is more common.
○ Proof: "that may takes time to translate" - subject-verb agreement error; it should be
"take."
○ Proof: "free of network" should be "lack network access" or "have no network
connection."
○ Suggestion: "High-tech translating devices like computers are undoubtedly
advantageous; however, there are still circumstances where truly acquiring a new
language is preferable."
● Lexical Resource: The vocabulary is adequate, but there are some phrasing issues and
opportunities for more precise language.
○ Proof: "High-modern," "delivering their message and intent comprehensively," "takes
time to translate," "source of inconvenience," "off-the-beaten-track places."
○ Suggestion: "comprehensively" is good, but it could be explained more clearly in
relation to nuance and emotion. "Off-the-beaten-track places" is a bit colloquial;
"remote areas" or "less accessible locations" would be more formal.

How to rewrite.
"While high-tech translating devices like computers offer undeniable advantages in today's world,
there are still many situations where truly acquiring a new language is preferable. Fluency in a
language enables children to convey their messages and intentions more completely. This is because
genuine fluency ensures a smooth conversational flow, allowing immediate comprehension of the
other person's ideas without the delay often associated with translation applications. Furthermore,
many translation apps require an internet connection to function, which can be a significant
inconvenience. For instance, in remote areas or locations with limited connectivity, such digital
translation tools become useless."

BODY PARAGRAPH 2
"Absorbing a foreign language is conductive to children's cognitive development, not simply just for
communicating. Particularly, when kids get a chance to exposed to a new language, their innate brain
function is much more flexible than those who only master their mother tongue according to linguistic
research by [Link]. Furthermore, the language acquisition is often in compatible with exposing
to the culture of that specific nation. This can broaden their mind, enrich their experience and start to
appreciate the cultural aspect that is embedded in a particular region of that country. With the
aforementioned reasons, I firmly believe that mastering a new language is undoubtedly of great
importance in shaping young minds and transmiting communicative intent."

Comments.
● Task Response/Task Achievement: This paragraph effectively introduces a second strong
argument for language learning: cognitive and cultural benefits. The link between language
acquisition and cognitive flexibility is well-stated, and the connection to cultural understanding
is also relevant. However, the citation of B.F. Skinner seems misplaced, as he is primarily
known for behavioural psychology, not linguistic research on cognitive flexibility.
○ Proof: The paragraph clearly explains how language learning impacts cognitive
development and cultural awareness.
○ Proof: The connection between language, mind-broadening, and cultural
appreciation is a solid argument.
○ Suggestion: Verify the source of the linguistic research. If B.F. Skinner is indeed
cited, ensure the context is correct, or find a more appropriate linguist or researcher
to cite. For example, research on bilingualism and executive functions is extensive.
● Coherence and Cohesion: The paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and uses
"Furthermore" to introduce the cultural aspect, which aids cohesion. The concluding sentence
effectively summarises the paragraph's points.
○ Proof: The topic sentence "Absorbing a foreign language is conductive to children's
cognitive development..." clearly sets the theme.
○ Proof: "Furthermore" is used appropriately to add another related point.
● Grammatical Range and Accuracy: There are a few grammatical errors and awkward
phrases.
○ Proof: "conductive to" should be "conducive to."
○ Proof: "kids get a chance to exposed" should be "kids are exposed" or "kids get a
chance to be exposed."
○ Proof: "in compatible with" should be "incompatible with" or, more likely, "compatible
with." The intended meaning here seems to be that language acquisition is
compatible with cultural exposure.
○ Proof: "transmiting" is misspelled; it should be "transmitting."
○ Suggestion: "Learning a foreign language is conducive to children's cognitive
development, extending beyond mere communication."
● Lexical Resource: The vocabulary used is generally good, with terms like "cognitive
development," "innate brain function," "flexible," "linguistic research," "acquisition," "broaden
their mind," and "appreciate the cultural aspect."
○ Proof: "conducive," "cognitive development," "innate brain function," "acquisition,"
"embedded."
 ○ Suggestion: "Incompatible with" seems to be a mistake; the intended meaning is
likely that language acquisition is compatible with cultural exposure. It should be
corrected to "compatible with."

How to rewrite.
"Furthermore, acquiring a foreign language is conducive to children's cognitive development, not just
for communication. When children are exposed to a new language, their innate brain functions
become more flexible compared to those who only master their mother tongue, as suggested by
linguistic research. Moreover, language acquisition is often compatible with exposure to the culture of
the respective nation. This experience can broaden their horizons, enrich their lives, and foster an
appreciation for the cultural aspects embedded within different regions. Consequently, for the reasons
stated, I firmly believe that mastering a new language is of immense importance in shaping young
minds and effectively transmitting communicative intent."

Improve Structure & Argument

TASK TYPE.
Opinion: Agree or Disagree

KEY TIPS.
● Clearly State Your Position: Begin with a strong thesis statement in the introduction
declaring whether you agree or disagree, and maintain this stance consistently throughout the
essay.
● Develop Well-Supported Arguments: Dedicate body paragraphs to distinct reasons
supporting your opinion, providing clear explanations and relevant examples to make your
points convincing.
● Acknowledge the Counter-Argument (Optional but Recommended): Briefly mentioning
the opposing view and explaining why it is less valid can strengthen your argument, especially
in agree/disagree essays.

RECOMMENDED ESSAY OUTLINE/STRUCTURE.

● Introduction:
○ Hook: Briefly introduce the topic of technology and language translation.
○ Background: Mention the common view that translation technology might make
language learning obsolete.
○ Thesis Statement: Clearly state your disagreement and briefly preview the main
reasons (e.g., cognitive benefits, cultural understanding, limitations of technology).
○ Sample Topic Sentence: "While digital translation tools offer convenience, the
profound benefits of genuine language acquisition for children's development and
global understanding remain irreplaceable."
● Body Paragraph 1: Limitations of Translation Technology & Benefits of Fluency
○ Topic Sentence: Focus on the practical limitations and nuances that machine
translation struggles with.
○ Explanation: Discuss issues like accuracy, context, tone, and the need for internet
connectivity. Contrast this with the benefits of direct, fluent communication.
○ Example: Mention scenarios like remote travel, business negotiations, or
understanding humor/sarcasm where fluency is crucial.
○ Sample Topic Sentence: "Despite their advancements, automated translation tools
often fall short in capturing the full spectrum of human communication, highlighting
the enduring value of direct language proficiency."
 ● Body Paragraph 2: Cognitive and Personal Development Benefits
○ Topic Sentence: Elaborate on how learning a language enhances cognitive skills.
○ Explanation: Discuss improved problem-solving, memory, multitasking abilities, and
brain flexibility (mentioning research if possible).
○ Example: Refer to studies on bilingualism or describe how learning grammar
structures sharpens analytical thinking.
○ Sample Topic Sentence: "Beyond practical application, the process of language
acquisition significantly bolsters children's cognitive functions and intellectual growth."
● Body Paragraph 3: Cultural Understanding and Global Citizenship
○ Topic Sentence: Explain how language learning fosters cultural empathy and
broader perspectives.
○ Explanation: Discuss how language is intrinsically linked to culture, and learning one
provides deeper insights into the other.
○ Example: Describe how understanding idioms or cultural references enhances
interpersonal relationships and appreciation for diversity.
○ Sample Topic Sentence: "Moreover, engaging with a new language serves as a
gateway to understanding diverse cultures, thus cultivating more open-minded and
globally aware individuals."
● Conclusion:
○ Restate Thesis: Reiterate your disagreement with the initial statement in different
words.
○ Summarize Main Points: Briefly recap the key arguments (limitations of tech,
cognitive benefits, cultural insights).
○ Final Thought/Recommendation: Offer a concluding remark on the importance of
language education.
○ Sample Concluding Sentence: "In conclusion, while technology can assist, it cannot
replace the fundamental and multifaceted advantages that learning a foreign
language offers to the development and interconnectedness of future generations."

Relevant Vocabulary
New Word Word Type Definition

Obsolete Adjective No longer produced or used;

out of date.

Proficiency Noun A high degree of competence

or skill; expertise.

Nuance Noun A subtle difference in or shade

of meaning, expression, or
sound.

Enhance Verb Intensify, increase, or further

improve the quality, value, or
extent of.

Cognitive Adjective Relating to the mental

processes of perception,
memory, and reasoning.

Empathy Noun The ability to understand and

share the feelings of another.
Interconnectedness Noun The state of being connected
or related to each other.

Indispensable Adjective Absolutely necessary.

Facilitate Verb Make (an action or process)

easy or easier.

Interpersonal Adjective Relating to relationships or

communication between
people.

Diversify Sentence Structures

Grammar Structure Original Sentence Rephrased Sentence

Complex Sentence with "That's why many people hold "Consequently, many people
Subordinate Clause: the opinion that obtaining a hold the opinion that learning a
Adverbial Clause of Reason new language is no longer a new language is no longer a
necessity." necessity."

Complex Sentence with "High-modern translating "Although high-tech translating

Adverbial Clause of devices like computers are devices like computers are
Concession undoubtedly advantageous in undoubtedly advantageous in
today's world, however there today's world, there remain
are still other circumstances..." circumstances where acquiring
a new language is preferable."

Passive Voice "when kids get a chance to "when children are exposed to
exposed to a new language..." a new language..."

Complex Sentence with "Not to mention, many "Furthermore, many

Relative Clause interpreting apps require interpreting apps require
network to function which can network connectivity to
be a source of inconvenience function, a feature which can
to some extent." prove inconvenient."

Complex Sentence with "Absorbing a foreign language "Learning a foreign language is

Gerund Phrase as Subject is conductive to children's conducive to children's
cognitive development, not cognitive development,
simply just for communicating." extending beyond mere
communication."

Improve Cohesion
Original Text Improved Text Explanation

"In the state-of-the-art world "In the state-of-the-art world "Consequently" provides a
where technology is where technology is more formal and logical
dominating, it is not uncommon dominating, computers are transition than "That's why,"
that computers can be easily in increasingly capable of clearly indicating a result or
charge of translating different translating languages globally. conclusion drawn.
languages all over the world. *Consequently, many people
*That's why many people hold hold the opinion that obtaining
the opinion that obtaining a a new language is no longer a
new language is no longer a necessity."*
necessity."*

"High-modern translating "While high-tech translating Using "While" at the beginning

devices like computers are devices like computers offer of the sentence creates a more
undoubtedly advantageous in undeniable advantages in sophisticated concessive
today's world, *however there today's world, *there remain clause, setting up the contrast
are still other circumstances circumstances where truly more effectively.
when truly acquiring a new acquiring a new language is
language is preferable."* preferable."*

"This is because fluency in a "This is because fluency in a "Furthermore" is a more

language ensures a smooth language ensures a smooth academic and suitable linking
conversation flow, without the conversation flow, allowing word than the slightly informal
intervention of high-tech immediate comprehension of "Not to mention" for introducing
translating applications that the other person's ideas an additional point.
may takes time to translate , without the delay often
young people can instantly associated with translation
comprehend the other's ideas. applications. *Furthermore,
*Not to mention, many many interpreting apps require
interpreting apps require network connectivity to
network to function..."* function..."*

"*Particularly, when kids get a "*Specifically, when children "Specifically" focuses the
chance to exposed to a new are exposed to a new introduction of the supporting
language, their innate brain language, their innate brain detail more precisely than
function is much more flexible function becomes more flexible "Particularly," which can
than those who only master compared to those who only sometimes be broader.
their mother tongue according master their mother tongue,
to linguistic research by according to linguistic
[Link]."* research."*

"*Furthermore, the language "Moreover, language "Moreover" serves as a strong

acquisition is often in acquisition is often *compatible academic link to add another
compatible with exposing to the with exposure to the culture of supporting point. Correcting "in
culture of that specific nation. the respective nation. This compatible" to "compatible" is
This can broaden their mind, experience can broaden their crucial for meaning.
enrich their experience and horizons, enrich their lives, and
start to appreciate the cultural foster an appreciation for the
aspect that is embedded in a cultural aspects embedded
particular region of that within different regions."*
country."*
Model Essays
Revised Essay.
Vocabulary Level: Band 5.5–6.5 (Intermediate).
In this modern world where technology is advancing rapidly, it is common for computers to be able to
translate different languages. Because of this, many people believe that learning a foreign language is
no longer necessary. From my perspective, I strongly disagree with this opinion for several reasons.

While modern translation tools like computers are undoubtedly useful, there are still situations where
learning a new language is better. When children are fluent in a language, it allows them to express
their ideas and intentions fully. Fluency ensures a smooth conversation without the need for
translation software, which can be slow. Young people can then understand each other's thoughts
more quickly. Furthermore, many translation apps need an internet connection to work, which can be
inconvenient. For example, in remote areas with no network, translation tools are useless.

Learning a foreign language also helps children's cognitive development, not just communication.
When children are exposed to a new language, their brains are more flexible than those who only
speak their mother tongue, according to research by B.F. Skinner. Additionally, learning a language
often involves learning about its culture. This can broaden their horizons, enrich their experiences,
and help them appreciate the cultural aspects of different regions.

For the reasons mentioned above, I firmly believe that learning a new language is very important for
shaping young minds and enabling effective communication.

Band 8.0 - 9.0 Sample Essay.

Vocabulary Level: Band 8.0 - 9.0.
In an era dominated by technological advancements, the ability of computers to instantaneously
translate between languages has led some to question the continued relevance of foreign language
education for children. While acknowledging the convenience offered by such technologies, I firmly
contend that the multifaceted benefits of acquiring another language far outweigh the perceived
advantages of relying solely on digital translation tools.

The primary argument against mandatory language learning centres on the efficiency of modern
translation software. These tools can indeed facilitate basic communication in diverse scenarios,
offering a quick solution for travellers or professionals dealing with international clients. However, this
convenience comes at the cost of genuine understanding and cultural nuance. Machine translations,
while improving, often struggle to capture the subtleties, idioms, and emotional tone inherent in
human konuşma. This can lead to misinterpretations and a superficial level of interaction, devoid of
the deeper connection that authentic linguistic proficiency fosters. Moreover, the reliance on such
technology can be problematic in environments lacking reliable internet access, rendering these
digital aids ineffective and potentially isolating individuals.

Beyond the practicalities of communication, the cognitive and cultural enrichment derived from
language acquisition is invaluable. Linguistic research consistently demonstrates that the process of
learning a new language enhances cognitive abilities such as problem-solving, critical thinking, and
multitasking. Exposure to a different linguistic structure compels the brain to develop greater flexibility
and adaptability. Furthermore, language is inextricably linked to culture; learning a language opens a
window into the customs, values, and perspectives of another society. This cross-cultural
understanding is crucial in our increasingly globalised world, fostering empathy, tolerance, and a
broader worldview that technological translation alone cannot impart.

In conclusion, while computerised translation offers a practical shortcut, it is a poor substitute for the
profound cognitive development, enhanced cultural awareness, and deeper human connection
facilitated by genuine language learning. The benefits of mastering a foreign language extend far
beyond mere communication, playing a vital role in shaping well-rounded, globally conscious
individuals.