Writing Task 2:
Community Centre Renovation Survey
Your local community centre is deciding on its improvement plan.
One option is to upgrade the fitness centre and the outdoor
children’s playground. The membership fee will increase by 5%.
The other option is to upgrade the swimming pool and offer more
fitness classes. This will increase the membership fee by 10%. The
community centre would like you to complete a survey on this
issue.
Choose the option that you prefer. Why do you prefer your choice?
Explain the reasons for your choice. Write about 150-200 words.
Option A: I support the first improvement plan.
Option B: I support the second improvement plan.
Response:
After hearing the many pros and cons voiced at the community
centre I firmly believe that re-modeling of the fitness centre, which
is long overdue, together with replacement of the existing
playground facilities offers the best option for this year's amenity
improvements for our members.
The children's playground apparatus has become woefully unsafe,
the soft landing area covering is now patchy and there is rust
appearing at the base of the swings. Last year's repairs involving a
one coat paint job were not sustaining and it is only a matter of
time before we have a serious accident on our hands.
Likewise the fitness centre has become jaded and, as a result
attendance is declining.
Upgrade of the swimming pool is an attractive proposition however
the cost does not offer value for money. The pool is already well
patronised and I did not hear any complaints during the community
centre meeting. Fitness lessons are an attractive proposal however
attendance is likely to be scant unless the fitness centre is first
upgraded. I suggest the fitness centre upgrade is deferred until
next year and considered in the context of next year's budget.
Writing Task 2:
Community Centre Renovation Survey
Your local community centre is deciding on its improvement plan.
One option is to upgrade the fitness centre and the outdoor
children’s playground. The membership fee will increase by 5%.
The other option is to upgrade the swimming pool and offer more
fitness classes. This will increase the membership fee by 10%. The
community centre would like you to complete a survey on this
issue.
Choose the option that you prefer. Why do you prefer your choice?
Explain the reasons for your choice. Write about 150-200 words.
Option A: I support the first improvement plan.
Option B: I support the second improvement plan.
Response:
In regards to the community centre renovation survey, I support
the option to upgrade the fitness centre and outdoor children's
playground. My main reason for supporting this preference is cost:
the monthly fees are already a strain on my budget, and although I
could handle the 5% fee increase incurred by this option, the 10%
increase attached to the alternative is more than I can afford. I also
believe that the fitness centre would benefit from an upgrade, as
many of the machines are out of date. Additionally, although I do
not have children myself, I think it is very important that we
continue to provide a safe, enjoyable play area for the children at
the community centre. At present, this is only possible with an
upgrade to the children's playground.
Additionally, I would like to note that the current swimming pool is
more than adequate, with plenty of room for swimming laps or
simply playing in the water. Although more fitness classes would be
nice, the present set offered is quite extensive, and I find no reason
to expand upon it, especially given the large costs incurred.
This response is between CELPIP Levels 10 and 12.
Strengths
Writer clearly states their choice at the beginning and includes a
short conclusion
Acceptable word count (188 words)
Good separation of ideas into different paragraphs
Higher-level vocabulary contributes to the precision of the response
(“extensive”; “incurred”)
Writer’s strong use of phrases and idioms contributes to quality of
ideas (“strain on my budget”)
Writer employs a good variety of sentence types (compound, complex)
Weaknesses
Some repetition of transitions (“additionally”)
Writing Task 1:
A friend told you that her construction company is looking to hire a
receptionist, a marketing assistant, and a construction worker. She
suggested that you apply for the job that interests you the most by
contacting the hiring manager. Your friend gives you the manager’s
name, Ms. Jones, and her email address.
Write an email to Ms. Jones in about 150-200 words. Your email
should do the following things:
Introduce yourself.
Explain which job you are interested in.
Explain why you would be good for the job.
Ask to set up a meeting with her.
Response:
Dear Ms. Jones,
Yesterday I met Ms. Neha Misra from your company and she
suggested I touch base with you regarding employment
opportunities with your company in London, Ontario. My name is
Ekram Sharma and I have worked for over six years as a
construction worker with Solid Construction. I would be very
interested in the construction worker role at your company.
I joined Solid Construction after successfully completing my
'Construction Worker Professional Certification' from the Ontario
Institute for Trade Skills. I have worked on the Alpha Construction
project in Brampton and the Ivory Tower building project in
Toronto. I have an excellent and accident free track record which
can be confirmed by my manager Mr. Johnathan Kitchener at Solid.
Due to personal reasons, I am moving to London, Ontario. I noticed
the construction worker opening for London, Ontario on your
company website and believe I fit the requirements perfectly as I
have successfully managed similar responsibilities in the past. I
would like to request an opportunity to meet you at your
convenience to discuss my past experience and skills. I look
forward to hearing from you.
Best Regards,
Ekram Sharma
Choose only ONE best answer.
A
Levels 10-12
B
Levels 8-9
C
Levels 6-7
This answer is correct.
This response is between CELPIP Levels 10 and 12.
Strengths
Writer includes an appropriate greeting and sign-off
Acceptable word count (191 words)
Writer fully follows task instructions
Excellent, appropriate use of vocabulary and terminology (“I would be
very interested in the construction worker role”; “I have successfully
managed similar responsibilities in the past”)
Writer’s use of compound and complex sentences demonstrates good
understanding of language structures
Writer employs numerous examples and details to emphasize their
intention
Weaknesses
For more clear organization of ideas, writer could place the meeting
request in a separate paragraph
Writer repeats “London, Ontario” (“Ontario” is redundant after the
first use)
Most sentences in the second paragraph begin with “I…” Writer could
improve sentence variety by using different vocabulary and phrasing