4.

SELF MANAGEMENT

Fathimath Binsiya M.T

Assistant Professor
Department of Commerce
Ideal Arts and Science College
Cheruppulassey
SELF ESTEEM
Meaning

• Self esteem comes from Greek word meaning “ relevance for self ”.
• Self esteem means pride in oneself self respect.
• It is a state of mind or one’s positive image of self.
• It is self confidence, self worth and self respect.

Definition

According to Weber’s Dictionary, Self esteem is defined as

“ A confidence and satisfaction in oneself ”.
Practice self acceptance

• Self esteem is linked to self acceptance

• Self esteem is possible through self acceptance and self responsibility
• People with low self esteem have low quality relationships than
people with healthy self esteem.
• Then relationships have less love and trust and more conflict and
ambivalence.
Characteristics of people with high self esteem

• They feel they are important

• They are responsible to themselves
• The have strong sense of self
• They acknowledged their abilities and talents
• They believe in themselves
• They are able to take risk
• They have high tolerance for frustration
• They have emotional self control
Low self esteem
Characteristics of low self esteem:

A person with low self esteem;

1. Ignore their positive qualities
2. Judge themselves to be inferior to their peers
3. Use negative words to describe themselves
4. Criticize themselves
5. Self talk that are negative and self blaming
Causes of low self esteem

• Unhappy childhood
• Poor academic performance
• Ongoing stressful life
• Poor treatment from partner, parents or caregiver
• Ongoing medical problems
• Mental illness
Self esteem building

1. Develop positive self talk

2. Challenge negative self talk
3. Accept everyone is different and each one has its own unique
character
4. Do self assessment and self evaluation
5. Be focused on present
6. Practice yoga and meditation
7. Be goal oriented
8. Develop good reading habits
SELF AWARENESS
Meaning

• It is the ability to recognize ourselves and identify our strengths ,

weakness, desires and dislikes.
• It is the ability to determine one’s future state, or set realistic goals
for the future.
• It allow us to understand other people, how they perceive us , our
attitude and our responses to them.
According to Daniel Goleman , Components of self awareness;

1. Emotional self awareness : Recognizing emotions and the

impact they have on our life
2. Accurate self assessment : Identifying our strengths and
weaknesses
3. Self confidence : Knowing our worth and capabilities
Importance/ Impact of self awareness

• Able to make changes in the thoughts and interpretations

• Able to change emotions
• Able to control emotions
• Able to achieve success
• Better understanding of ourselves
• Able to build areas of strengths
• Identify areas needed to make improvements
• Able to set goals
• Personal growth and development
• Improve relationships, career, wealth, health and happiness.
Develop self awareness

• It is developed through practice in focusing our attention on the

details of our personality and behaviour.
• Recognise strengths and weaknesses
• Seek feedback from others.
• Monitor self talk
• Question our decisions
• Perform self reflection
SELF CONTROL
Meaning

• Self control is the ability to control one’s emotions, behaviour and

desires.
• It is the ability to control impulses and reactions.
• It is self discipline
Importance of self control

• Control self destructive, addictive, obsessive and compulsive behaviour

• Bring balance to our life
• Keep over emotional responses in moderation
• Eliminate the feeling helplessness
• Control moods and reject negative feelings and thoughts
• Strengthens self esteem, confidence, inner strength and willpower.
• Make responsible and trustworthy human.
Obstacles to self control

• Lack of knowledge and understanding what self control really is

• Strong and uncontrolled emotional responses
• Reacting to outside stimuli without thinking first
• Lack of discipline and willpower
• Lack of desire to change and improve
• The belief that self control eliminate fun
• Lack of faith in oneself and in one’s abilities
Develop self control

1. Asses our day to day life and identify area need to gain more self
control
2. Identify the emotions that lack control like anger, unhappiness,
dissatisfaction etc.
3. Identify thoughts and beliefs that push to behave in uncontrolled
manner
4. Several time a day or when need to display self control, repeat for a
minute of the following ;
• I have the power to choose my emotions and thoughts
• Self control brings the inner strength and lead me to success
• I’m confident about my abilities and strengths
• I’m aware of my limitations
• I’m in charge of my behaviour
• I’m gaining control of my emotions and reactions.
5. Visualise ourself acting with self control and self restraint
6. Work on developing and strengthening willpower and self discipline
through appropriate exercises
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE/ EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT
• The word 'emotion’ is derived from Latin word ‘emovere’ which
means ‘to string up’ , ‘ to agitate’ or ‘to exist ’.
• Emotions are some sort of feelings and experience.

Characterstics of emotions
• It is universal
• It have quality of displacement
• It can give birth to number of other similar emotions
• It is associated with various biological drives
• It involve many psychological changes
Positive emotions
• Happiness
• Joy
• Love
• Amusement etc.
It is helpful for overall development of the person
Negative emotions
• Fear
• Anger
• Jealousy
It is harmful overall development of the person
EQ – EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT

• It is a behavioural model of Daniel Goleman Published in his

book “ Emotional Intelligence” in 1995.
• It is a measure of one’s emotional intelligence.
• It is a measurement of a person’s ability to monitor their emotions
to cope with pressures and demands and to control their thoughts
and actions.
Two aspects of emotional intelligence

1. Understanding ourselves, our goals, intentions, responses, behaviour

and all.
2. Understanding others and others feelings
Five domains of emotional EQ for EI

Goleman identified five domains of EQ or EI.

1. Knowing our emotions

2. Managing our own emotions
3. Motivating ourself
4. Recognising and understanding other’s emotions
5. Managing relationships
Emotional Intelligence (EI) and Emotional Quotient ( EQ)

• EQ and EI are used interchangeably

• EQ is measure of our emotional intelligence.
• EI was popularised by Daniel Goleman in 1995

Components of EQ

1. Intraprsonal skill
2. Interpersonal skill
3. Stress management
4. Adaptability
5. General mood
1. Intrapersonal skills.
• It is the ability to understand and apply [Link] includes;
1. Self regard
2. Emotional self awareness
3. Assertiveness
4. Independence
5. Self actualisation.
2. Interpersonal skills.
• People skill. It includes;
1. Empathy
2. Social responsibility
3. Interpersonal relationships
3. Stress management
• Ability to handle challenges. It includes;
1. Stress tolerance
2. Impulse control
4. Adaptability
• Ability to react quickly, appropriately and efficiently to change.
• It includes;
1. Reality testing
2. Flexibility
3. Problem solving
5. General mood
It includes;
• Optimism
• Happiness
SOCIAL QUOTIENT / SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE
Meaning
• It is the capacity to effectively navigate complex social relationships
and environments
• It is the ability to understand and manage interpersonal relationships.

Definition
According to Edward Thorndrike, social intelligence is
“ the ability to understand and manage mennand women, boys
and girls, to act wisely in human relations.”
Social quotient includes;
a. Ability to observe and interpret very subtle facial expressions
b. Ability to detect and understand hidden meanings in verbal
expressions of other people
c. Ability to interact with other people verbally through gestures
d. Ability to tell and understand jokes
e. Ability to motivate people
f. Ability to coordinate one’s action with behaviour of other people
Outcomes of SQ
Sternberg,Convay, Ketron & Bernstein suggested that socially
intelligent person is;
1. Accept others for what they are
2. Admit mistakes
3. Has social conscience
4. Think before speaking and doing
5. Display curiosity
6. Does not make snap judgments and make fair judgement
7. Is sensitive to other’s needs and desires
8. Is frankband honest with self and others
Kosmitzki and John suggested that ;
1. Understanding people’s thoughts, feelings, and intentions well
2. Being good at dealing with people
3. Being good at taking the perspective of other people
4. Adapting well in social situations
5. Being warm and caring
6. Being open to new experiences, ideas and values
Coping with emotions
It involves recognising emotions in ourselves and others and how
emotions influence behaviour.

Being emotionally intelligent includes the following abilities

1. Self awareness
2. Self regulation / self management
3. Social awareness
4. Relationship management
STRESS AND STRAIN
CONCEPT OF STRESS

• It is first introduced in the life science by Hans Selye in 1936.

• It is a concept borrowed from natural science
• Derived from Latin word ‘ Sringere ’which means ‘ to draw tight ’
Meaning of stress

• Stress is the distress, fatigue, and feeling not being able to cope.
• It is a feeling of emotional strain and pressure.
• It is an internal state which results from frustrating or unsatisfying
conditions.
Types of stress

1. Good stress / eustress

2. Bad stress

Good stress
It is the type of stress we feel when we’re excited.
Bad stress
• It is also known as distress.
• It is negative kind of stress that most people associate with feeling
“stressed out”.
Different types of stress

1. Physical : Intense, exertion, manual labour, lack of sleep, travel

2. Chemical : Drugs, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine etc
3. Mental: Perfectionism, worry, anxiety, long work hours
4. Emotional : Anger, guilt, loneliness, sadness, fear.
5. Nutritional : Food allergies, vitamin and mineral deficiency
6. Traumatic : Injuries or burns, surgery, illness, infections, extreme
temperatures
7. Psycho spiritual : Trouble relationships, financial or career
pressures, challenges with life goals etc.
Common types of stress

Dr Karl Albrecht defined four common types of stress in his book

“ Stress and the Manager ”.
1. Time stress
2. Anticipatory stress
3. Situational stress
4. Encounter stress
Time stress
• It can make us feel trapped.
• We feel that we don’t have the time need to complete their tasks,
or do their job.
Anticipatory stress
• It is the stress about a future event or activity
• It is the stress that we experience concerning the future
Situational stress
• It arises when individuals are triggered by situation they can’t control
,typically conflict, loss of status or emergencies.
Encounter stress
• Individuals experience this stress when they worry about interacting
with a person or group of persons.
Symptoms of stress
• Headaches
• Sleep disturbance
• Anxiety
• Anger
• Irritability
• Depresssion
• Fatigue
• Feeling moody, tearful
• Difficulty concentration
• Lack of self esteem and lack of confidence
• High BP
• Heart disease
Tips to manage everyday stress
1. Establish effective and meaningful routines
2. Find time with people who care and love
3. Practice relaxation
4. Improvebself control
5. Do self assessment
6. Self talk
7. Manage emotions
8. Develop empathetic attitudes
9. Identify our strength and limitations
10. Practice good health habits and maintain good health
STRAIN
• Mental strain is the nervousness resulting from mental stress.
• It is a emotional strain suffering from fatigue and emotional tension
Causes of strain
• Unhealthy life style
• Economic problems
• Poor interpersonal relationships and lack of social support
• Occupational / work related stress
• Health problems
• Annoyances and irritations
• Increasing responsibility
• Lack of rest at work place
• Self abuse
Tips for reducing mental strain
1. Be honest with ourself and our co workers
2. Get advice and support
3. Develop healthy interpersonal relationships and better communication
4. Be bold and courage
5. Maintain time schedule
6. Find time for relaxation
7. Right food at right time
8. Develop self confidence
9. Do self assessment
10. Read books
11. Practice yoga and meditation
12. Develop problem solving
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
• Conflict resolution is a way for two or more parties to find a peaceful
solution to a disagreement among them.
• Conflict is not necessarily bad.
• It is a chance to create an understanding between individuals or groups
with differing opinions.
• It is more than just a disagreement
• It is situation in which one or both parties perceive a threat
• Conflict trigger strong emotions
There are two types of conflict
• Internal conflict – It is a conflict withinva single individual
• Interpersonal conflict – It is a conflict between two or more
individuals or groups
Causes of conflict
1. Unmet needs and wants
2. Difference in values
3. Different perceptions
4. Knowledge or information is never equally known or shared
5. Assumptions – if assumptions are not discussed or checked for
accuracy
6. Expectations – when people do not know each other’s expectations
7. Growing up differently
8. Lack of ability to or skill or unwilling to do so.
Tips to resolve the issue
• Be open minded
• Listen to others
• Practice assertive communication
• Cool off if needed
• Keep voice calm
• Seek best solution
Emotional awareness
• Emotional awareness is about being more conscious of how you feel,
and the feelings of others.
• It is the key to understand yourself and others
• It is a key factor in resolving conflict
• It is the ability to manage all your feelings. It is the basis of a
communication process that can resolve conflict.
• It helps to:
1. Understand what is really troubling other people
2. Understand yourself
3. Stay motivated until the conflict resolved
4. Communicate clearly and effectively
5. Attract and influence others
Steps for managing and resolving conflict

1. Listen for what is felt as well as said

2. Make conflict resolution the priority rather than winning or
“being right ”
3. Focus on the present
4. Pick your battles
5. Be willing to forgive
6. Know when to let somthing go
Stages of healthy conflict resolution
a. Set a time and place for discussion
b. Identify
c. The problem or issues
d. Define the problem or issue of disagreement
e. List past attempts to resolve the issue that were not successful
f. Generate several possible solutions
g. Discuss and evaluate the alternative solutions
h. Decide on the best solution
i. Implement the solution
j. Follow up
DEVELOPING POSITIVE THINKING
Self talk

• It is the ongoing internal conversation with ourselves which influence

how we feel and behave.
• It is our inner voice
Impact of self talk in one’s life

• Feeling better about ourselves

• Boosting confidence
• Building self esteem
• Making friends
• Feeling in control
• Self talk consists of two inner voices ;
1. Yes – Voice is a peacefulness and power
2. No - It expresses negative, fearful and counterproductive views.
POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE SELF TALK

Positive self talk

• It makes you feel good about yourself
• Eg : “ I can write this exam well ”

Negative self talk

• It makes you feel bad about yourself
• Eg : “ I am not beautiful and I look ugly ”
BETTER SELF TALK
1. Listen to what you are saying to yourself
2. Monitor your self talk
3. Change your self talk
Impact of self talk
• Fosters independence,autonomy and self responsibility
• Self confidence
• Achieve personal goals
• Positively affect one’s health and body images
• Encourage to stay true to themselves and resist outer pressures
• Helps to respond in positive manner
• Help to develop a greater optimism about future
Steps for developing positive thinking
1. Find your mind with positive thinking
2. Observe your self talk
3. Reframe your thinking
4. Replace negative influences
5. Ask yourself questions and find positive answers
6. Stop negative thoughts
7. Focus on enjoyable moments
8. Replace negative self talk with positive messages
9. Learn discipline and motivate
10. Be hopeful
11. Be respectful
12. Read books
ASSERTIVENESS

• Assertiveness refers to the way we communicate our needs

with others.
• It is a trained pattern of behaviour that allows us to convey
our feelings and emotions
• It is a mofe of communication
Characteristics of assertive people
• They are able to maintain comfortable relationships with others
• They know their rights and privileges
• They have self control
• Express their views clearly
• Stand up for their own and other people’s rights
• Allow other people to express their opinions
 THREE BASIC TYPES OF BEHAVIOUR

Assertive
Both win
Aggressive
Passive
I win You loss
I loss You win
Passive behaviour
• Those with a passive behavior are non-expressive.
• They do not express their opinions or their needs.
• They do not play an active role and allows others to make choices
for them.
• They are usually indifferent to others and are isolated
Assertive behaviour
• Assertive behavior is characterized by honesty, confidence , care,
active participation, and concern for the rights of others.
• A person who displays assertive behavior is always honest and
speaks confidently.
• He actively engages in the situation and deals directly with the
problem.
Aggressive behaviour
• Assertive behaviour is characterized by violence and hostility
towards others.
• An individual who has an aggressive behavior is not concerned
about others.
• They are selfish and very opinionated.
• They does not listen to others but approaches the situation from his
point of view alone.
Importance of assertive behaviour
1. Able to reduce the level of interpersonal conflict
2. Able to reduce stress and strain
3. Able to resolve conflict
4. Able to make healthy and productive life
5. Able to promote healthy self esteem
6. Able to express honest feelings comfortably
7. Able to take life decisions
8. Able to make stronger and supportive relationships
Tips for improving your assertiveness
• Develop positive attitude and positive self talk
• Taking responsibility for your thoughts and rights
• Being direct and honest
• Giving respect and take respect
• Be responsive to others
• Be perfect
• Develop and maintain healthy relationships
• Admit and accept mistakes
• Identify your strength and weaknesses
• Avoid bullying
• Avoid physically aggressive behaviour
Thank you