Mitsuki Harry

Mr. Pietens - English advanced

Existential Routine
Wake up in an orderly manner. Eat the same old poached eggs on toast. Brush teeth, Suit tucked.
Then I'm off. Speeding down to the station in order to make the 6.30 train. Afterall the only thing
society values is who you work for, how much you make and whether you create a beneficial
contribution to corporations. Otherwise, you're alone. Left to slowly wither away, not a caring
soul passing by. Turning into some scum perched on the curb begging for change in a cashless
society.

The train screeches to a halt echoing throughout the station. Doors slide open revealing a sea of
tied faces, the same every day. I step in, securing the usual spot against the cold metal pole, my
reflection staring back at me in the dark window. The air is thick with the scent of burnt coffee
and fading cologne clawing its way into my nostrils. A man a few seats down mumbles to
himself, but no one listens. Just like always.

Emerging out from underground a beam of light shines through the window signaling the city is
awake. Like usual, not a sound, just people including myself glued to the glaring phone screen as
our brain floods with information. I should be thinking about the upcoming business strategies.
Another mind-numbing task that drains all creativity and color of me. But what does it matter?
It’s all a facade, false urgency, a cycle of pretending to make the next biggest iPhone such a
worthwhile product. Something society classifies as being worth more than a day, months if not
years of life. I know this. Yet I stay, ensuring the stability of my mundane unfulfilled future.
Why does the future matter when you waste the most valuable years of living? Scrutiny creates
problems within. Problems express being pushed closer to the edge, to becoming just another
ghost in this city of forgotten souls. The only real hope is that man who radiates positivity
reciting millennial quotes saying things like “you are the controller of your own life” as he
wanders aimlessly through the train. I only caught a glimpse but today those simple words linger.

Time is ticking as this mundane life dawns over me, same people, a never-ending routine and an
unspoken weight watches my every action. Boredom sends my body into paralysis as the lack of
accomplishment throughout life pierces my soul. An invisible control continued to influence all
aspects of my life. Feeling like some puppet with no voice to be spoken. Strings getting pulled in
all separate directions diminishing my persona second by second.
Consumers flooded the Apple headquarters, eagerly admiring our latest creation. I weaved
through the crowd, repeating the programmed phrase drilled into me.

"This is the new iPhone 20. Step inside to explore its specifications and upgrade today."

But in reality, it’s just another sleek metal brick fueling endless conflicts and deepening social
divides. Yet, I have no choice but to promote it. In a workplace this unforgiving, even the
slightest resistance to company values could mean immediate dismissal.

Dashing up the elevator I slam the door behind me as I enter the conference room. Taking a seat
in the executive chair. BOOM! questions flood in from every direction.

“What do you think of the proposals for the new product?”

“How long ‘till we can seal the deal?”

They press on. Face red, frozen. I've done this every morning for 15 years. What's the hesitation I
whisper to myself? But my mind refuses to concentrate. The same cheesy inspirational phrases I
heard this morning, lingers throughout my mind. A wave of detachment washes over me. Why
am I here? What am I doing? These are the only thoughts forming a midlife crisis looming over
me. The meeting is called off and just like that everyone moves on as if nothing happened. I
overhear someone mutter “That was a breeze” before trotting off to their daily designated tasks.
This led to a domino effect of overthinking.

I retreat to my office and sit there for the next 6 hours without lifting a pen. Pondering the
indoctrination of values this company puts on vulnerable citizens of society. Some may think I'm
working towards that dream life. Money is far from a struggle and comfort is maintained, but is
that really what you're looking for in life?

After an extremely unproductive day spent lost in self-reflection, 5 o'clock rolls around and
thousands of white-collar workers hurry back home. They crowd into public transport, escaping
the workplace only to repeat the same cycle tomorrow. The weight of accomplishments clouds
my thoughts like an evil entity.
As the train arrives, doors slide open and people flood in. Squished in, holding the safety strap.
My feet remain grounded, holding such a fogged mind clouded by the weight of a life that feels
less like living and more like existing.

"You are the controller of your own life."

These words echo in my head again, but this time, it doesn't just pass through like white noise.
This time, these words are spoken right beside me. I turn my head out of astonishment and there
he is that same man that roamed the train this morning, the one who blurts out those coney
millennial quotes like some new-found philosopher. Standing right next to me presenting himself
as though he's found the answer.

“Didn’t think you were listening,” he says, smiling like he already knows my thoughts, “nobody
ever does”.

“I wasn’t, trying to” I mutter, eyes drifting back to the window showing my reflection. “At least,
I didn’t think I was, till what you mentioned about being the controller of your own life it, really
stuck with me.”

“You know, you don’t have to do this forever.”

I let out a breath of amusement, shaking my head. “What else is there? This is life. Work,
money, status. Rinse and repeat.”

He leans back against the cold metal pole, eyes scanning the blank faces around us. “That’s one
version of life. But it’s not the only one.”

Then he’s gone, disappearing into the night while I remain frozen in place. For the first time in
years, I don’t immediately step onto my next train. I just stand there on the platform, replaying
his words, something stirring inside me. Maybe just maybe he’s right. Maybe there’s still time to
choose a different path…

Word count 1064

Reflection
My narrative Existential routine is an imaginative piece that explores themes surrounding
longing for change, societal pressures and self-reflection represented through a disillusioned
business man that struggles to grasp the concept of fulfillment in life. Trapped in the cycle of
corporate repetition, whilst being confronted with the unsettling truth, success means nothing
without happiness. Due to the mature themes of existential doubt and the cost of stability, this
narrative would be best suited for older teen to adult readers navigating similar experiences. The
title plays a significant role as it fuses the concepts of existential crisis and monotonous routine
while relating to a wide audience. Predominantly taking inspiration from Breathless and Night
Calls as they provide various stylistic and structural elements to my narrative.

Night Calls by Lisa Walker explores literary techniques like internal dialogue and sensory
imagery to reveal a character’s deeply conflicted emotional state. Walker utilizes internal
dialogue to show how the man, hunted by PTSD, sees every situation as a battle adding a raw,
war-like quality to his internal world. In my own narrative, I apply a similar technique when my
character experiences decision paralysis, a moment that forces him to question his own beliefs.
Walker’s sensory imagery also plays a huge role in drawing the reader into the protagonist’s
experience. Often impacting the character’s physical sensations and emotional state
simultaneously. Similarly, I use the idea of an “existential routine” to pull readers into the
monotonous, suffocating rhythm of modern life, as shown in the line, “Boredom sends my body
into paralysis as the lack of accomplishment throughout life pierces my soul..” mirroring the
physical effects of routine on the body whilst highlighting the internal struggle and burden of an
unfulfilling existence.

Breathless by Micheal Blake also plays a significant role in shaping my narrative through the
slice of life format, and symbolism that explores how social perception shapes identity. The
choice of slice of life storytelling captures the protagonist's perception of the angel man over a
period of time as the story repeats that same moment. Encapsulated throughout my narrative as I
apply this structure by following the monotonous cycle of everyday life. “Wake up in an orderly
manner. Eat the same old poached eggs on toast. Brush teeth, Suit tucked. Then I'm off.”
illustrating how the protagonist is faced with the same repetitive daily routine. Additionally,
symbolism is utilized as a technique that is intertwined throughout my narrative. In Breathees,
the angel man’s coat symbolizes societal judgment, similar to the quote man in my
narrative representing a fleeting chance for change. His words "You are the controller of
your own life." Act as a revelation portrayed like some philosopher in the protagonist's mind.
But like the coat in Breathees, they’re ignored by most, showing how society dismisses
what it doesn’t understand.

This narrative integrates elements of societal pressure and self-reflection grasping concepts from
night calls and Breathless to create an eye opening story. As I crafted my businessman's
journey, I realized how powerfully storytelling can expose the contradictions between
outward success and inner emptiness. Existential routine provided an opportunity to
explore various texts in order to create a narrative that leaves an impression on readers.

Word count 532