The diagrams below show how a college looks at present and what it will look like after a proposed
development.
The map compares the current layout of the college and its planned development.
Overall, the building was expected to expand at the garden on the northside. In addition,
arrangement of the rooms is going to change with increased number of classrooms.
Regarding exterior, the garden on the top of the layout, at present will be cleared together with
the footpath for the expansion. Correspondingly, entrance will change from the northside to the
south, opposite the road.
Regarding interior arrangements, the number of classrooms will increase. On the west side, the
reception room and library will be removed for classroom. While the reception room will locate in
the center of the layout, library will replace the east classroom. Moreover, toilets will be moved to
the top of the layout. On the right corner, shopping room will be introduced, next to toilets. Luch
area will also be enlarged with the increased number of tables.
The map compares the current layout of the college and its planned development.
Overall, the building was expected to expand into the garden on the north side. In addition, the
arrangement of the rooms is going to change with an increased number of classrooms.
Regarding the exterior, the garden on the top of the layout, at present, will be cleared, together
with the footpath for the expansion. Correspondingly, the entrance will change from the north
side to the south, opposite the road.
Regarding interior arrangements, the number of classrooms will increase. On the west side, the
reception room and library will be removed for classroom. While the reception room will be
located in the centre of the layout, the library will replace the east classroom. Moreover, toilets
will be moved to the top of the layout. On the right corner, the shopping room will be introduced,
next to the toilets. The lunch area will also be enlarged with the increased number of tables.
🏅 Estimated Band Score: 6.5 – 7.0
📋 Band Breakdown:
Your
Band Criterion Comments
Score
You mentioned most of the key changes, both external and internal.
Task Achievement 7.0 However, some descriptions (like "shopping room" or "top of the
layout") are vague or awkward.
Coherence and Paragraphs are organized well (exterior → interior), but sentence flow
6.5
Cohesion is choppy. Some transitions are abrupt.
Good use of vocabulary like expanded, introduced, removed. However,
6.5–
Lexical Resource terms like shopping room, top of the layout, and repetition of phrases
7.0
reduce sophistication.
Sentence structures are mostly correct, but you make consistent
Grammatical
errors with articles, prepositions, passive voice, and phrasing. E.g.,
Range and 6.5
“will be removed for classroom” should be “to make space for
Accuracy
classrooms.”
✍️Summary of Key Errors:
Error Correction Reason
"was expected to Use present passive for planned/future
→ is expected to expand
expand" maps
→ to make space for
"for classroom" Fix article and plural noun
classrooms
"top of the layout" → northern part Use directional language in maps
"shopping room" → shopping area "Shopping room" is unnatural in English
✅ What You Did Well:
You addressed both the external and internal changes.
You followed a logical structure and included specific changes (e.g. number of classrooms
increasing, relocation of toilets, etc.)
🔧 What to Improve:
Use map-appropriate language (north/south/east/west).
Improve grammar accuracy (articles, sentence structure).
Use more precise and academic vocabulary.
📝 Your Essay with Band 9 Bolded Improvements:
The map compares the current layout of the college and its proposed development.
Overall, the building is expected to expand northward into the garden area. In addition, the
internal layout will be reorganized, with an increased number of classrooms and new facilities
introduced.
Regarding the exterior, the garden in the northern part of the layout, along with the existing
footpath, will be removed to make space for the extension. Correspondingly, the main entrance
will be relocated from the north to the south side, facing the road.
In terms of interior arrangements, the number of classrooms is set to increase. On the west side,
the reception and library will be removed to accommodate new classrooms. The reception will
be repositioned at the center of the building, while the library will occupy the area currently used
as the east-side classroom. Moreover, the toilets will be moved to the northern end of the
layout. In the northeastern corner, a shopping area will be introduced, situated next to the new
toilet block. The lunch area will also be expanded, with more tables added to accommodate
increased capacity.
🔄 Change Table: Original → Change + Explanation
Your Original → Band 9 Version Why It’s Better
current layout... and its → current layout... and its "Proposed" is more formal for
planned development proposed development plans
Use present passive for
was expected to expand → is expected to expand describing future developments
on maps
the garden on the top of the → the garden in the northern
More precise with map direction
layout part of the layout
Your Original → Band 9 Version Why It’s Better
cleared together with the → will be removed to make More natural and formal
footpath space for the extension phrasing
entrance will change from the → will be relocated... facing the
Concise and academic phrasing
north side to the south road
the reception room and library → will be removed to
Grammar fix + clearer phrasing
will be removed for classroom accommodate new classrooms
reception room will be located → will be repositioned at the
Shorter and more natural
in the centre of the layout center
library will replace the east → will occupy the area currently
More precise and formal
classroom used as the east-side classroom
toilets will be moved to the → will be moved to the northern Use compass direction instead of
top of the layout end "top"
on the right corner, the
→ in the northeastern corner, a Improved location language and
shopping room will be
shopping area will be introduced word choice
introduced
enlarged with the increased → expanded, with more tables More concise and natural
number of tables added phrasing
🏁 Final Band Score Estimate: 8.5 – 9.0
✔ What you did well:
Covered all major features
Logical structure: exterior → interior
Clear sequencing of ideas
🔧 To improve:
Use present passive for describing map changes (e.g. is expected, will be removed)
Use directional language (north/south/east/west) instead of “top/right corner”
Avoid informal or awkward phrasing (e.g. “shopping room” → “shopping area”)