Interviewer:

Hey, first of all, thank you so much for taking out the time for this…I really, really appreciate it. I
know what time of the semester this is… exams are literally around the corner, and I’m pretty
sure we’re both kind of drowning in work right now.

Participant: It’s alright, I do understand your work and trust me this past week gave me a lot of
space for reflection. So…. genuinely thanks a lot

Interviewer: Ohhh!! I am glad to hear that. To start with, how have you been doing?

Participant: I…um doing fine i guess. Really stressed right now cus as you said, THAT time of
the year, sooo stressful

Interviewer: Hmmm, I know right. Very stressful. Okayyy, just to clarify, feel free to say whatever
you feel like you know, like very friendly talk. Also, you can skip whatever question you don’t
feel like answering or if you feel like you need to take your time, and also, if you feel like you did
not understand any question, please don’t hesitate from asking me to rephrase it

So with that said, are you ready to do this?

Participant: Yeah, pretty much. Please go ahead…

Interviewer:

So tell me; what are you studying and where?

Participant:

Yeah, okay… um… so I’m doing Sociology Honours, fourth year, from LSR.

Interviewer:

And how has this fourth year been for you? Like genuinely.

Participant:

Honestly… it’s been a lot. Like… I don’t even know how to explain it properly.

It’s not just “busy” or “stressful”… it’s like… mentally exhausting in a very different way.

Like earlier, in first, second, even third year, I used to feel stressed but it was manageable, you
know? Like you know what to do like: study, attend classes, write exams.

But now it’s like… everything feels more serious and also more confusing at the same time.
Because now it’s not just about learning sociology… it’s like we’re expected to be sociologists
suddenly. Like doing fieldwork, thinking critically, forming our own arguments, writing a
dissertation… and I’m just like… am I even ready for this?

And the thing is, because this is all part of the new system, like the new education policy and all,
it just feels very… unfinished? Like even teachers are sometimes figuring things out, so it’s not
like there’s a clear structure you can rely on.

So yeah… it’s like pressure + confusion + uncertainty all mixed together.

Interviewer:

Yeah yeah… So… Do you feel like this new system (like the NEP) has increased your anxiety?

Participant:

Yeah… honestly, yes. Like I won’t say it’s completely bad, because I get the point of it… like the
research year, honours with research, it actually helps your profile and all…

But at the same time, it’s like… now everything feels like it has real consequences.

Like earlier if I messed up an assignment, I’d be like okay fine, I’ll manage.

But now it’s like… what if this affects my masters? what if this affects my chances later?

And also, there’s this constant confusion: like should I even be in fourth year? Because some
people just left after third year, and they’re already preparing for entrances or doing something.

And I’m here thinking… am I doing the right thing by staying? or am I wasting time?

Interviewer: So it’s like… you’re not just anxious about studies, you’re anxious about your
decisions also.

Participant: Yeahhh can say

Interviewer: Okayyy I see.

So you had been sending some photos to me the whole last week. First of all, I just want to say
thank you for the photos you’ve been sending over the past week. I know you’ve been busy, but
the fact that you still took out time every day to click something, reflect on it, and send it, means
a lot I mean…

Participant: Anything for you yaar (smiling)

Interviewer: Yeah (smiling) we’ll just talk through them today; very casually, nothing formal at all.
Just whatever comes to your mind when you look at them, okay?
Photo 1: Diary (Motivational Writing)
Interviewer:

Okay, let’s talk about this—your diary. What was happening here?

Participant:

Yeah… so that day… I remember I was just sitting and overthinking like crazy.

Like, it started with something small, I think I was thinking about my dissertation topic… like
whether it’s good enough or not.

And then you know how it goes… it doesn’t stay there.

It becomes like; what if my topic is basic? what if my ideas are not academic enough? what if
my professor thinks I’m not serious?

And then suddenly it becomes like—what if I’m not good enough for masters? what if I can’t do
research properly?

And I know it sounds dramatic when I say it like this… but in that moment it feels very real.

So I just… opened my diary and started writing. I always do that when I feel like I’m losing
control of my thoughts.

I write like motivational lines or even random song lyrics that I connect with… like something to
remind myself that I’m okay.

That line I wrote—about the mind being your friend or enemy—that was exactly what I was
feeling. Like my mind was literally working against me at that time.

Interviewer (softly):

Hmm… like you were trying to calm yourself down?

Participant:

Yeah… exactly. Like I won’t say it fixes everything, but it helps me slow down a little. Otherwise
it just keeps going in loops.

Interviewer:

What feeling does this capture for you?

Participant:

Overthinking… definitely. But also… this pressure to be perfect in a way.

And I think that’s what’s different now. Earlier it was like—okay, study and write.

Now it’s like… your ideas are being seen. And that feels very exposing.

Interviewer:

That sounds quite intense.

Participant:

It is… because it feels personal. Like if I don’t do well, it feels like I’m not good enough, not just
my answer.

Interviewer:

And physically, how do you feel in those moments?

Participant:

Um… restless. Like I can’t sit still.

And there’s this heaviness… like in my chest. And I keep going back to the same thoughts
again and again even when I try not to.

Photo 2: Civil Services Search

Let’s move to this one—the civil services search.

Participant:

Yeah… this was one of those moments where I was just like… what am I even doing with my
life?

Like I was thinking—should I do masters? Should I prepare for UPSC? Should I do something
else?

And I just randomly started searching… not even with a plan.

And I do this a lot actually… like when I feel anxious about the future, I just start looking at
options.

Interviewer:

What does this represent for you?

Confusion. And also… pressure.

Because when you see all these options, it’s not like you feel relieved… you feel more stressed.

Like you’re supposed to choose the right one, and you don’t even know what “right” means.

And also, I keep comparing myself. Like I see people around me—they’re so clear. Someone is
preparing for entrances, someone is already set on something…

And I’m just like… stuck.

Interviewer (reflecting):

So it’s not just uncertainty—it’s also comparison?

Participant:

Yeah, a lot. And that makes it worse. Because then you feel like you’re behind, even if you’re
not.

Interviewer:

What feeling does this capture?

Participant:

Anxiety… and urgency. Like time is moving and I’m not.

Interviewer:

Do you think the new system has something to do with this?

Participant:

Yeah, because earlier things felt more straightforward. Now it’s like… more options, more
decisions, more consequences.

Like even the decision to stay in fourth year or not becomes a big thing.

PHOTO 3: WEBINAR
Interviewer:

Okay wait, we skipped this one earlier—the webinar. Tell me about this. What was happening
here?

Participant:
Oh yeah, this one…

So I remember I came across this randomly, like it just popped up somewhere, and I was
already in that mindset where I was overthinking about my future… so I was like okay, maybe
this will help.

Like you know when you feel lost and you start looking for anything that can give you some
direction? It was that kind of moment.

And I think I didn’t even attend it fully or anything, but just seeing it—like “navigating career
paths after graduation”—it just… hit something.

Interviewer:

Hmm… what did it make you feel in that moment?

Participant:

Honestly… a mix of things.

Like for a second, I felt a little hopeful—like okay, maybe there’s guidance out there, maybe I’ll
figure things out.

But at the same time… it also made me more anxious.

Because it reminded me that I need to figure things out.

Like it’s not optional anymore.

Interviewer (gently):

So it kind of brought both comfort and pressure together?

Participant:

Yeah exactly… like you feel supported, but also… exposed? I don’t know if that makes sense.

Like suddenly you’re very aware that there are so many options—NGOs, research, masters,
corporate, civil services…

And instead of feeling excited, I just feel overwhelmed.

Interviewer:

What does this photo represent for you?

Participant:

Um… I think it represents my constant search for clarity.

Like I keep looking for answers outside—webinars, videos, talking to people…

And sometimes I feel like no matter how much I look, it’s not helping because the confusion is
not just about options… it’s about me not knowing what I want.

Interviewer (reflecting):

So it’s less about lack of information and more about internal uncertainty?

Participant:

Yes, exactly! That’s exactly it.

Like the information is there… but I don’t feel ready to decide.

And that’s what creates anxiety.

Interviewer:

And how does this connect to your current academic situation?

Participant:

I think because of this whole fourth year and research thing, everything feels more serious.

Like now it’s not just “I’ll see later”… it’s like your current work is directly linked to your future.

Like if I want to go into research or masters, this year matters a lot.

So when I see things like this webinar, it’s like a reminder that I should have clarity… but I don’t.

Interviewer:

And physically, what do you feel in such moments?

Participant:

Um… I feel a bit tense… like my shoulders feel tight, and I just feel mentally tired.

Like even if I haven’t done anything, just thinking about all this makes me feel drained.

Interviewer:

What do you usually do when you feel like this?

Participant:

Honestly… I either keep searching more—which sometimes makes it worse…

Or I just avoid it completely for some time. Like I’ll distract myself, watch something, talk to
someone…
But it doesn’t really go away. It just comes back later.

Interviewer:

Yeah… I just want to say, listening to you, I can genuinely understand how overwhelming things
have been for you lately—especially with everything changing academically and all the
uncertainty around the future. It makes complete sense why you’ve been feeling this way.

Photo 4: Crayons
Interviewer:

Tell me about this one—the crayons.

Participant:

Yeah… so I was feeling very overwhelmed that day. Like my mind was just… too full.

And I didn’t feel like studying or doing anything productive, so I just picked up crayons and
started coloring randomly.

And if you see it… it’s not neat or anything. It’s just… all over the place.

Interviewer:

What does that represent for you?

Participant:

My thoughts. Literally.

Like they feel exactly like that—scattered, messy, going in different directions.

And the funny thing is, I was trying to calm myself down by doing something simple… but even
then my mind wasn’t calm.

Interviewer:

What kind of thoughts were going on?

Participant:
Everything at once… assignments, dissertation, future, whether I’m doing enough, whether I’m
falling behind…

It’s like there’s no pause.

Interviewer:

That sounds exhausting.

Participant:

It is… because in sociology now, everything feels interconnected. Like you’re never done. You
always feel like you could think more, write more, read more…

So it’s like… you never feel “enough.”

Photo 5: Staircase
Interviewer:

And this staircase?

Participant:

Yeah… this one hit me a bit.

I was just standing there, and suddenly it felt like… this is my life right now.

Like I’m at the bottom of something really long.

And I think it was also because… I’ve been thinking a lot about the fact that college is ending.

Like… it feels weird to even say that. Because this has been such a big part of my life. It feels
safe, familiar.

And after this… everything is unknown.

Interviewer:

What does that feel like?

Participant:

Scary… honestly.

Like you have to figure things out on your own. And it feels like everyone expects you to have a
plan, but inside you’re just like… I don’t know what I’m doing.
And with this whole fourth year and research and everything, it just feels more real. Like this is
not just college anymore—this is leading somewhere.

Interviewer:

And physically?

Participant:

It feels heavy… like something sitting on your chest. And also nervousness… like before
something big happens.

Interviewer:

Listening to you, it feels like your anxiety is not just about studies anymore—it’s about your
future, your identity, and where you’re going.

Participant:

Yeah… that’s actually very true.

Like earlier it was just “I have to pass this exam.”

Now it’s like… what kind of person am I becoming? am I doing enough? am I on the right path?

And I think that’s what makes it heavier. Because it’s not just external anymore… it’s very
internal.

Interviewer:

And honestly, I really appreciate how openly you shared everything with me—it’s not easy to put
these thoughts into words, especially when they’re this personal.

I genuinely wish you the best for whatever comes ahead. I hope you find clarity, and more
importantly, some peace with whatever path you choose.

And yeah, I know you’ve been really busy, so thank you so much for taking out the time for this.
It really means a lot.

Participant:

Yeah… Thank you. I’m glad I could talk about it.

Of course. And I’m always here if you need to rant like this again.

Participant:

(laughs) I will definitely take you up on that.