PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

REVIEWER

LESSON 1: Personal Relationship Healthy relationships are a vital component of health and well-
being. There is compelling evidence that strong
relationships contribute to a long, healthy, and happy life.
DEFINITIONS: Conversely, the health risks from being alone or isolated in
1. Relationship - a state of connectedness between people one's life are comparable to the risks associated with
(especially an emotional connection) cigarette smoking, blood pressure, and obesity.
2. Personal relationships - relationships between people,
especially those between friends, lovers and family. Research shows that healthy relationships can help you:
3. Love - strong affection for another arising out of kinship or
personalities; attraction based on sexual desire: affection and • Live longer. A review of 148 studies found that people with
tenderness felt by lovers; affection based on admiration, or strong social relationships are 50% less likely to die
common interests. prematurely.
4. Commitment - the act of binding yourself to a course of • Deal with stress. The support offered by a caring friend can
action; Commitment is the act of dedicating oneself— provide a buffer against the effects of stress.
intellectually, emotionally, or physically—to a cause, • Be healthier. According to research by psychologist Sheldon
relationship, goal, or responsibility. Cohen, college students who reported having strong
5. Attraction - Attraction is the quality or force that draws relationships were half as likely to catch a common cold when
people, things, or ideas toward one another. It can be physical, exposed to the virus.
emotional, intellectual, creating a sense of fascination, • Feel richer. A survey by the National Bureau of Economic
admiration, or desire. Research of 5,000 people found that doubling your group of
6. Responsibility is the trait of being accountable for one's friends has the same effect on your wellbeing as a 50%
actions, decisions, and obligations increase in income!

Relationships are not static – means they are continually On the other hand, low social support is linked to a number
evolving, and to fully enjoy and benefit from them we need of health consequences, such as:
skills, information, inspiration, practice, and social support.
• Depression. Loneliness has long been commonly associated
THERE ARE THREE KINDS OF PERSONAL with depression, and now research is backing this correlation
RELATIONSHIPS: up: a 2012 study of breast cancer patients found that those
with fewer satisfying social connections experienced higher
1. Family levels of depression, pain, and fatigue.
The concept of "family" is an essential component in any • Decreased immune function. The authors of the same
discussion of relationships, but this varies greatly from person study also found a correlation between loneliness and immune
to person. The Bureau of the Census defines family as "two or system dysregulation, meaning that a lack of social
more persons who are related by birth, marriage, or connections can increase your chances of becoming sick.
adoption and who live together as one household." But • Higher blood pressure. University of Chicago researchers
many people have family they don't live with or to whom they who studied a group of 229 adults over five years found that
are not bonded by love, and the roles of family vary across loneliness could predict higher blood pressure even years
cultures as well as throughout your own lifetime. later, indicating that the effects of isolation have long-lasting
consequences.
2. Friends
A friendship can be thought of as a close tie between two social alienation is an inevitable result of contemporary
people that is often built upon mutual experiences, shared society's preoccupation with materialism and frantic "busy-
interests, proximity, and emotional bonding. Friends are ness “. Their decades of research support the idea that a lack
able to turn to each other in times of need. of relationships can cause multiple problems with physical,
emotional, and spiritual health. The research is clear and
3. Partnerships devastating: isolation is fatal.
Romantic partnerships are close relationships formed
between two people that are built upon affection, trust, 25 MOST COMMON RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM
intimacy, and romantic love. We usually experience this kind
of relationship with only one person at a time.
1. AFFAIRS/CHEATING
WHY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT 2. SEXUAL ISSUES
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3. CORE VALUES/BELIEFS 10. Be forgiving. We all have quirks. When one surfaces
4. LIFE STAGES that makes you want to scream, either gently say
5. TRAUMATIC/LIFE CHANGING EVENTS something or switch to the positive-quality channel.
6. STRESS
7. BORED LESSON 2: Identifying Ways to
8. JEALOUSY
9. BLENDED FAMILY PROBLEM Become Responsible in A Relationship
10. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
11. MARRIAGE
12. LACK OF RESPONSIBILTY Good relationships are fun and make you feel good about
13. UNREALISTIC EXPECTATION yourself. The relationships that you make in your youth years
14. ADDICTIONS will be a special part of your life and will teach you some of
15. EXCESSIVE REALIANCE ON SOCIAL MEDIA the most important lessons about who you are. Truly good
16. LACT OF SUPPORT relationships take time and energy to develop. All relationships
17. MANIPULATION should be based on respect and honesty, and this is especially
18. LACK OF COMMUNICATION important when you decide to date someone.
19. POOR DIVISION OF CHORES AND TASKS
20. LACK OF CONCERN, CARE, & CONSIDERATION IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, BOTH PARTNERS:
21. PERSONAL DISAPPOINMENTS ✓ Are treated with kindness and respect
22. DEPRESSION/OTHER MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES ✓ Are honest with each other
23. DIFFERENCES IN OPINION ✓ Like to spend time together
24. LONG-TERM STRESS ✓ Take an interest in things that are important to each other
25. UNSUPPORTIVE PARTNER DURING PREGNANCY ✓ Respect one another’s emotional, physical and sexual limits
✓ Can speak honestly about their feelings
10 WAYS TO EXPRESS LOVE
LOVE SHOULD NEVER HURT
1. Express gratitude. Tell someone how much you Dating relationships can be wonderful! But while it’s important
appreciate their presence in your life. that dating partners care for each other, it’s just as important
2. Send flowers. Do it for no reason other than to say that you take care of yourself! About 10% of high school
“Thank you for being you.” students say they have suffered violence from someone they
3. Set aside time. Give the gift of listening. Make a date date.
if you must, in your own home or at a quiet little 1. Physical abuse when someone causes physical pain
neighborhood place, for coffee or a drink and just or injury to another person. This can involve hitting,
listen to each other’s thoughts. slapping, or kicking.
4. Keep anger at bay. During stressful times think of
this image. If an ember flies from a fireplace onto your 2. Sexual abuse is also a type of violence, and involves
rug, it will burn a hole. Flick it off immediately and the any kind of unwanted sexual advance.
rug is safe.
5. Be thoughtfully generous with gifts. Remember 3. Emotional abuse is anything that harms your self-
what is special about a person in your life and buy esteem or causes shame.
gifts that are unique to them.
6. Order fortune cookies. Find ones with love sayings. REMEMBER: You deserve healthy, happy relationships.
You might also intersperse with gratitude sayings. Abuse of any type is never okay.
7. Offer an act of kindness. Say to your love or
someone you care about, “What can I do for you HOW TO COMMUNICATE
today that will make your life easier and less
stressful?” Then do it. Talking openly makes relationships more fun and satisfying:
8. Write a note. Here’s a simple start: “I am so grateful especially when you both talk about each other’s needs for
that you are in my life. I love you for a million physical, emotional, mental and sexual health. You can’t
reasons.” expect a partner to know what you want and need unless you
9. Make time. Arrange to be together for events that tell them. The simple fact is that none of us are a mind reader
bring you both pleasure.
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– so it’s important to be open about your needs and • The right to have your feelings and experiences
expectations. acknowledged as real
• The right to live free from accusation and blame
In a romantic relationship, it is important to communicate • The right to live free from criticism and judgment
openly on issues of sex and sexual health. The decision to • The right to live free from emotional and physical
enter into a sexual relationship is entirely up to you, and you threat
always have the right to say “no” at any time to anything that • The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage
you don’t feel comfortable with. Remember that there are • The right to be respectfully asked, rather than ordered
many ways to express love without sex.
In addition to these basic relationships rights, consider
SO, WHAT’S TO TALK ABOUT? how you can develop patience, honesty, kindness, and
respect.
• Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)
• Possibility of Pregnancy 1. Patience
• Right time for sex 2. Honesty
• Boundaries 3. Kindness
4. Respect
THE DECISION OF WHETHER OR NOT TO HAVE SEX IS
UP TO YOU AND YOU ALONE. YOU MAY ASK yourself:
PROBLEM STATEMENT
LESSON 3: Social Relationship in Middle
• Am I ready to have sex? and Late Adolescence
• How am I going to feel after I having sex?
• Am I doing this for the right reasons?
• How do I plan to protect myself/my partner from Community activity is part of civic responsibility. It’s about
sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy? doing things in our community because we want to or feel we
• How am I going to feel about my partner afterwards? should, rather than we have to by law.

TALKING TO YOUR PARENTS You can take civic responsibility and be active in your
community by: Joining a Youth Club, a scouting group or a
You probably think that talking to your parents about sex is local environmental or clean-up group
impossible. You’re not alone; 83% of kids your age are afraid
to ask their parents about sex. Yet 51% of teens actually do COMMUNITY ACTIVITIES CAN HELP YOU GAIN:
so. The truth is that most parents want to help their kids make 1. ROLE MODELS
smart decisions about sex. They know it’s vital for teens to 2. IDENTITY AND CONNECTION
have accurate information and sound advice to aid the 3. SKILLS
decision-making process. 4. SELF-CONFIDENCE, MENTAL HEALTH AND WELL-
If you think your parents are really nervous about raising the BEING
issue, you’re probably right. Many parents think that if they
SERVANT LEADERSHIP
acknowledge their child as a sexual being, their son or
The servant – leader is servant first. It means, a servant-
daughter will think it’s okay to go ahead and have sex.
But remember: Not every person your age is having sex. leader prioritizes serving others first, focusing on their needs,
Even if sometimes it feels like everyone is “doing it”, it is unlike a leader-first approach driven by power or personal
important to realize that this is not true. People often talk about gain.
sex in a casual manner, but this doesn’t mean they are actually
having sex. SOCIAL INFLUENCE

BASIC RIGHTS IN A RELATIONSHIP

• The right to emotional support According to Rashotte, social influence refers to various
factors—such as behaviors, attitudes, ideas, communication,
• The right to be heard by the other and to respond
and resources—that cause a person’s beliefs or actions to
• The right to have your own point of view, even if this
change due to another person’s influence.
differs from your partner’s
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VARIETIES OR TYPES OF SOCIAL INFLUENCE and wisdom, or may have inherited a position of power even if
strength and wisdom were not part of this person’s virtues.
Herbert Kelman suggested that there are three (3) varieties of
social influence, namely: THEORIES OF LEADERSHIP
1. Compliance - Is when a person seems to
agree, and follows what is requested or
required of him or her to do or believe in, but 1. Trait Theory - This theory defines leadership based on
does not necessarily have to really believe certain personality traits which are generally suited for all
or agree to it; leaders. such as decisiveness, persistence, high level of self-
2. Identification - Is when a person is confidence, and assertiveness etc.
influenced by someone he or she likes or 2. Behavioral Theory - This theory presupposes that
looks up to, like a movie star, social leadership is a learned behavior.
celebrity, or a superhero; 3. Participative Theory - the participative leader involves
3. Internalization - Is when a person is able to other people to make common decisions.
own a certain belief or act, and is willing to 4. Situational Theory - This theory assumes that there is no
make it known publicly and privately. one style of leadership and that leadership behavior is based
OTHER TYPES OF SOCIAL INFLUENCE on the factors present in a situation.
1. Conformity / Pagsang-ayon - A type of social influence 5. Transactional Theory - This theory states that leadership
that involves a change in behavior, belief, or thinking to be like involves a transaction or negotiation of resources or position,
others. It is the most common and pervasive form of social usually employing reward and punishment.
influence. 6. Transformational Theory - This theory involves a vision,
2. Conversion / Pagbabagong-loob - Occurs when an which a leader uses to rally support from followers, and the
individual whole-heartedly changes his or her original thinking role of the leader is in motivating others to support the vision
and beliefs, actions, and attitudes to align with those of the and make it happen.
other members of a group.
3. Minority influence - Happens when a bigger number of THREE (3) BASIC AXIOMS OF LEADERSHIP by Rob
people are influenced by a much smaller number of people Goffee and Gareth Jones (2006)
and when the minority’s way of looking at and doing things are
accepted.
4. Reactance - Is when there is a rejection of a social 1. Leadership is situational - This means that a leader’s
influence being exerted on an individual or group. This is also behavior and what is required of him will always be influenced
known as anti- or non-conformity. by the situation.
5. Obedience - Is another form of social influence wherein a 2. Leadership is not-hierarchical - The exercise of
person follows what someone tells him or her to do, although it leadership is not based on one’s position in an organizational
may not necessarily reflect the person’s set of beliefs or chart alone, but also dependent on other factors such as
values. Similar to compliance, obedience usually stems from characteristics, skills, and even connections.
either respect or fear of the authority figure. 3. Leadership is relational - Leaders and followers establish
6. Persuasion - Is used by one person or group to influence a relationship where their interests are mutually met. The role
another to change their beliefs, actions, or attitudes by of a leader in this relationship can vary from being a visionary
appealing to reason or emotion. to cheerleader.

LEADERSHIP:
LESSON 4: Family Structure and Legacies
is the art of motivating a group of people to act toward
achieving a common goal.

LEADERSHIP / PAMUMUNO - Chester Barnard (1983) The definition of family by George Murdock highlights the
defined leadership as the ability of a person in a position of following three points:
authority to influence others to behave in such a manner
that goals are achieved. a) Social Relationships over Legal Framework: The
concept of family is not necessarily tied to the concept of
LEADER / PINUNO - Often typecast as someone who is the marriage. What is important is the social relationship between
head of a group of people by virtue of having great strength individuals, not the legal framework of their relationship.
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b) Variety of Adult Relationships: Family groups can include

any number of adults who maintain socially-approved sexual
relationships. This means families can involve multiple men 9. Gay or Lesbian Family: Families headed by same-
related to a single woman (or vice versa), and the "sexual sex couples, which may include biological or adopted
relationship" does not have to be heterosexual. Adoption into children.
the family group is also considered. 10. Bi-Racial or Multi-Racial Family: Families
c) Inclusion of Children: The family group includes both consisting of members from different racial or ethnic
adults and children. Thus, a husband and wife who do not backgrounds.
have biological children are still considered a family if they 11. Trans-Racial Adoptive Family: Families where
meet the other criteria. adopted children are of a different race or ethnicity than
Traditional Family Structure is considered a family support their adoptive parents.
system which involves two married individuals providing care 12. Immigrant Family: Families where one or more
and stability for their biological offspring. members have immigrated from another country.

There are various types of family that exist in todays’

society, and some of the more common structures
include:
1. Nuclear Family: Consists of two generations of
family members living in the same household,
typically parents and their children.
2. Extended Family: Includes three or more
generations living in the same household or close
proximity. Often referred to as a "vertically
extended group," this type involves inter-
generational extensions like grandparents, rather
than just aunts or uncles.
3. Step-Families: Result from high rates of divorce
and remarriage. This type of family typically
includes a nuclear family structure with parents,
children from previous marriages, and possibly
children from the current marriage.
4. Single Parent Family: Consists of one parent
(either mother or father) raising a child or children,
whether by birth or adoption. Single parents may
be in this situation by choice or due to life
circumstances.
5. Adoptive Family: Includes one or more adopted
children. This structure can be of any family type.
6. Blended Family: Comprises members from two or
more previous families, blending different family
structures into one.
7. Conditionally Separated Families: A family
member is separated from the rest due to reasons
such as employment, military service, or
hospitalization.
8. Foster Family: Includes one or more children who
are legally temporary members of the household.