INPUTS ON FAMILY, GROUP, ORGANIZATIONS AND COMMUNITY

COURTSHIP

• Allows people to ‘win’ the affection of those to whom they are attracted
• Most societies have ‘rituals’ - men have to prove their ability to being able to provide and women be the
‘alluring’ and nurturing

DATING

• During 2oth century, the concept of the dating began

• Young people would meet at church or community events, such as dances etc and went out initially in
larger groups of friends
• By the 1920s men began taking the initiative and asking women out and paying for the event
• 1930’s – the idea of ‘going out’ meant you were an exclusive couple but not necessarily discussing
marriage
• 1950s – Western idea of ‘romantic love’ – dating, falling ‘in love’ and then marriage
• “Market experience perspective” – dating was effective because you could get to know the person, judge
their character etc and then decide on the characteristics that you were looking for in a ‘mate’

SO WHAT DOES DATING HAVE TO DO WITH MARITAL SUCCESS?

o According to Martin King Whyte, not much. He found no correlation between dating experience, length of
dating, engagement, degree of premarital intimacy, and marital success.
o In dating, you have to decide yes or not on one person at a time. o He found that marriages are slightly less
successful with more dating experience – it increases an individual’s expectations and therefore it is more
difficult to make a choice or feel ‘satisfied’ in a relationship.

IF DATING IS NOT AN INDICATOR OF MARITAL SUCCESS, WHAT IS?

▪ Actually, love
▪ Whyte found that being in love when you marry is the best indicator of marital success.
▪ The process of getting to know someone is increasingly, in our society, being combined with sexual
intimacy before marriage.
▪ To the point that, if you think about Sternberg, the expression of passion through sexual activity precedes
the development of intimacy and commitment to the relationship.

COURTSHIP AND DATING IN THE PHILIPPINES, THEN AND NOW.

Then… Now…
1. The suitor must visit the girl at home in the 1. Texting is one way of modern Filipino courtship
evening and talk to her in the living room with her communication.
parents watching nearby.
2. If the suitor wishes to go on a date, the girl will 2. With the use of mobile phone and social media,
only be allowed with a chaperone. Filipinas are allowed to participate with the dating
 process without the interference from their
parents.
3. The couple can walk on the park or some other 3. Dining out is the most common way of dating.
public places. The couple can also watch movies, play sports
together, and watch concerts. Travelling and
going
on coffee houses are also gaining popularity
nowadays.
4. Serenading or Harana is one of the most 4. To serenade the girl, one can hire a professional
popular way of courtship. Accompanied by male singer, a singing telegram or request a love song
friends, the suitor will offer a love song in front of from the radio station
the girl’s house
5. For the eager suitor, one way of showing his 5. Sending flowers, chocolates, jewelries and
sincerity and dedication is by doing difficult gadgets are popular gifts from a suitor to her lady
household tasks like fetching water in the well and love.
chopping the woods to be used as their
“panggatong”
6. Writing love letters is proven to be an effective 6. Sending e-cards and messages on Facebook and
way of stealing the girl’s heart. Twitter are modern ways of showing love and
sincerity.
7. Courtship may last for years. The girl may play 7. Group dating and Online dating are popular
“hard to get” a character referred to as Maria forms in finding potential partner. Modern
Clara attitude. Filipina may encourage courtship but she can also
initiate the dating process.

FAMILY
Traditional Family – a family form in which the roles of husband and wife are clearly separate and the husband
monopolizes power and makes the major family decisions.

TYPES OF FAMILY ORGANIZATION

 NUCLEAR - Composed of a husband (father) and his wife (mother) and their children in a a union
recognized by the other members of the society.
 EXTENDED - Composed of two or more nuclear families economically and socially related to each
other.

Assumptions:
1. Family is a heterosexual institution with prescriptions about how a man and a woman ought to be joined together
and live together;
2. The proper family form is to be a nuclear family composed of a married man and woman and their children; and
3. The husband is the head of the family with ultimate authority over wife and children with clearly separate roles –
husband as income earner and wife as homemaker and provider of childcare.
Patriarchy- is a system in which power and authority are arbitrarily vested in the male head of the household.
Equal-partner marriage – a more democratic form in which both husband and wife contribute to the family’s
economic resources, share authority and decision-making, and work together in child rearing
Family systems theory
is more than a therapeutic technique. It is a philosophy that searches for the causes of behavior, not in the
individual alone, but in the interactions among the members of a group. The basic rationale is that all parts of the
family are interrelated. Further, the family has properties of its own that can be known only by looking at the
relationships and interactions among all members.

What is a Family System?

Understanding something as complex as a family unit is not an easy task. What does it mean to say that the
family is a system?
Webster (1979) defines a system as a "regularly interacting or interdependent group of items forming a
unified whole." Certainly, members of families are interrelated and interdependent parts of a whole. Many writers
in discussing the family as a system use the analogy of the heating system of a house.
This analogy - is comparable to the family system in which the elements, the family members, are
dependent upon one another. In a similar manner, families develop a kind of balance in their relationship patterns.

FAMILY RULES

➢ family members develop rules about how they relate to each other and to the external environment. Why?
To understand families, it is important to learn about the operating rules and the behavioral patterns that
maintain them.
The rules that are developed by the family system ensure its stability, promote cohesiveness, and help to
establish the identity of a family as distinct from other families.
There are rules about how decisions are made, how problems are solved, and about how people are supposed
to think, feel, and behave.
Many of these rules are "silent contracts," not openly recognized. There are rules about communication,
such as "parents never argue in front of the children." Child Welfare Manual, 2007

On the basis in terms of:

1. Marriage
2. Nature of Residence
3. Ancestry or Descent Family
4. Basis of Size or Structure
5. Authority

MARRIAGE:

➢ Customs, rules, and obligations for relationships between:

1. sexually cohabiting man and woman
2. Parents and children
 3. Families of the bride and groom

➢Functions of Marriage
1. Regulates sexual access.
2. Creates a family.
3. Expands social group.
Family Structure

➢ Marriage provides a stable structure:

1. The male can provide food and protection.
2. The female can nurse and nurture the children.

Expands Social Groups

1. Links different families and kin groups.

2. Leads to cooperation beyond the primary husband-wife pair.

Exogamy

o Rules specifying that a person must marry outside a particular group.

o Almost universal within the primary family group.
o Leads to alliances between different families and groups. \

Endogamy

o Rules that marriage must be within a particular group.

Preferential Marriage Rules

Levirate - A man marries widow of a deceased brother.

Sororate - When a man’s wife dies, her sister is given to him as a wife.

Number of Spouses All societies have rules about how many spouses a person can have at one time.
Monogamous Family: This type of family consists of one husband one wife. In other words, a single husband
and a single wife living together form a monogamous family. Under this family system, neither husband nor
wife can have more than one life partner at a time. Similarly, they are not allowed any extramarital relations.
Therefore, now-a-days this type of family is regarded as the ideal form of family.

Polygamy- A rule allowing more than one spouse.

Polygyny –A rule permitting a man to have more than one wife at a time.

Polyandry –A rule permitting a woman to have more than one husband at a time.
TYPES OF FAMILY BASED ON THE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP
 Conjugal Family – Emphasizes the marital bond and capitalize on sexual attraction.
 Consanguineal Family – Emphasizes the blood connection.

TYPES OF FAMILIES BASED ON RESIDENCE

Residence is said to determine the quality & quantity of interaction with relatives for it has something to
do with who is to live with whom which would logically affect the pattern of socialization among relatives and or
family members.

1. Patrilocal Family: In this type of family, after marriage the wife goes and lives in the family of her
husband, As such, the family of this kind is based on patrilocal residence. This family is also known as
Virilocal family.
2. Matrilocal Family: Matrilocal family is just opposite of the patrilocal family. In this family, after marriage
the husband goes and lives in the house of his wife. Hence, he occupies a secondary position. This type of
family is also known as Uxorilocal Family.
3. Neo-local Family: When the married couple after marriage reside in a new place and establish family
independent of their parents or of their relatives they said family is known as neo-local family.
4. Bilocal Family: In some societies after marriage the married couples change their residence, i.e.
sometimes the wife joins her husband at his residence and vice versa. This type of family is known as
family by changing residence.
5. Avuncu-local family: When the couple goes to live in maternal uncle's house of the groom after marriage
they said family is known as Avuncu-local family.

TYPES OF FAMILIES BASED ON ANCESTRY OR DESCENT

1. Patrilineal Family - The family in which the descent is traced through the father or the ancestry is determined
on the basis of male line or the father is known as patrilineal family. In this type of family system, the property
and the family name etc. is inherited through the male line. This is the most common type of family.
2. Matrilineal family - Matrilineal family is the opposite of patrilineal family. The ancestry of such family is
traced through mother or female line. The female members alone enjoy all the rights of property and of
inheritance. In other words, a property right is handed down from mother to daughter and so on and so forth.

3. Bilineal Family - It is a type of family where the descent is traced through both the mother.

TYPES OF FAMILIES BASED ON AUTHORITY

1. Patriarchal – The power and authority is bestowed to older male, usually father-husband.
2. Matriachal – The power and authority bestowed to older male, usually mother-wife.
3. Egalitarian – Equal power and authority between husband and wife. The Filipino family is classified as
equalitarian/egalitarian.

CLASSIFICATION OF FATHERHOOD
 1. Procreator Father – one who equates fatherhood primarily with raising and providing for children
2. Dilettante Father – one who is often away from home but maintains a warm relationship with children.
3. Determinative Father – one who sees fatherhood as a task and obligation, and is obsessed with directing his
children’s lives.
4. Generative father – one who spends much time with children and enjoys being with them such as the
fatherhood becomes an opportunity for his own growth and fulfilment.

FAMILY LIFE CYCLE

SINGLE ADULT

The most important task that you need to achieved in this stage for your well-being are:

1. Achieving your own identity, separate from that of your family.

2. Choosing an occupation to engage in.
3. Becoming independent, emotionally and financially.
4. Choosing life partner.
- An individual who has been to achieve a stable, independent identity is able to become healthy personal
and professional choices which promote his/her well-being. An individual who is unable to do so often makes
life choices either acceding to the family wishes or rebelling against them. Being able to choose an occupation
which gives you satisfaction also depends on what basis your choice has been made-on the basis of your own
interest and abilities or on the basis of what your family or well-wishers say. Similarly, the ability to choose
partner and enter a healthy committed relationship depends on your level of emotional maturity and separation
from the family emotional process.

NEW COUPLE

The most important tasks that you and your spouse need to accomplish in this stage for a stable future are:

8. Adjusting your marital system to make space for your children.

9. Emotionally accepting new members into the system.
10. Realigning your relationships with your extended family to include parenting and grand parenting roles.
11. Nurturing the child in all areas- physical, emotional, intellectual, social and spiritual.
12. Facilitating children to develop peer relationships.

COUPLE WOTH TEENAGERS

This is one of the most challenging stages for you as a parents, how you treat your teenagers has important and
long term consequences that are critical to the well-being of your child throughout adulthood.
The most important tasks that you as parent need to accomplished in this stage are:

1. Encourage autonomy yet provide parental guidance

2. Increase the flexibility of family boundaries and modulate parental authority.
3. Review your own standards and attitudes about sexuality, before enforcing rules.
4. Provide support in the process of the adolescent finding their identity.
5. Deal with the sense of loss earlier attachment patterns with your child.
6. Adjusting family relationships to focus on mid-life and career issues.
7. Taking on responsibility for caring for families of origin.

LAUNCHING CHILDREN

The most important tasks that you as a parent need to accomplish in this stage are:

1. Recognize your son/daughter as a young adult.

2. Help your son/daughter’s to share their plans with you
3. Be open about your son/daughter’s ideas and needs.
4. Embrace a new identity
5. Refocus your marriage and resolve issues kept hidden over the years.
6. Rekindle your marriage and career goals.

FAMILY IN LATER LIFE

Retirement, readjusting and relooking at your marriage, review of your life, discovering your own meaning to
life, relating to children and grandchildren are all areas that are enriching yet challenging in this stage.

The most important tasks that you need to accomplish in this stage are:

1. Coping with physiological decline and illness.

2. Adjusting to life and spouse after retirement.
3. Adjusting to children taking a more central role in family maintenance.
4. Dealing with the loss of spouse and peers.
5. Preparation for death, life review, reminiscence and integration
6. Taking on responsibility for caring for families of origin.

SOME QUALITY OF HEALTHY FAMILY

 Direct and open communication patterns

 Appreciation and respect for one another
 Spiritual and religious commitment
 Adaptability and flexibility
 Clarity of family roles.