Advanced Parallelism (Day 2)
Focus: Structural Consistency in Academic Writing
Duration: 60 Minutes
Phase 1: The Correlative Challenge (15 Minutes)
Concept: When using paired connectors (Not only... but also, Neither... nor, Whether...
or), the grammatical structure following the first must be mirrored perfectly by the
second.
Task 1: Balance the Pairs
Correct the following sentences. Some may require significant rewriting.
1. The research paper was neither well-organized nor did it have any original
data.
2. Whether she is teaching a large lecture hall or when she tutors a single
student, she is equally passionate.
3. The new policy aims not only to reduce carbon emissions but also to the
improvement of air quality.
4. Both the complexity of the task and how much time it took frustrated the
engineers.
5. The CEO is interested in either expanding into the Asian market or to merge with
a local competitor.
6. The curriculum is designed both to challenge the students and for the
encouragement of critical thinking.
7. Neither the harsh winter weather nor the fact that there were high winds
stopped the expedition.
8. Whether you choose to study at home or at the library, consistency is key.
9. Not only did the hurricane destroy the pier, but it also was damaging the
boardwalk.
10. The athlete was praised both for her physical strength and because she was
mentally resilient.
Example Answer (1): The research paper was neither well-organized nor original in
its data. (Adjective/Adjective)
Phase 2: Comparative Logic & Phrasal Balance (20 Minutes)
Concept: On the TOEFL, comparisons using than or as often hide parallelism errors by
separating the two elements with long phrases.
Task 2: Comparative Correction
Rewrite these 10 sentences to ensure the elements being compared are grammatically
identical.
1. Studying for the TOEFL in a group is often more effective than to study alone.
2. The results of the first experiment were just as significant as what we found in
the second one.
3. To live in a big city is often more expensive than living in a small town.
4. The ideas presented in the first chapter are more complex than the second
chapter.
5. It is sometimes harder to admit a mistake than to keep quiet.
6. The climate in the southern region is much drier than the north.
7. Walking to work is as beneficial for your health as to go to the gym.
8. Writing a formal essay requires more precision than when you write a casual
email.
9. The skills required for nursing are similar to a teacher.
10. Many people believe that eating healthy food is just as important as they should
exercise regularly.
Example Answer (4): The ideas in the first chapter are more complex than those in
the second chapter. (Comparing ideas to ideas, not ideas to a chapter).
Phase 3: The Paragraph Reconstruction (25 Minutes)
Concept: In the TOEFL Integrated Writing task, you must maintain parallelism across
several sentences to ensure high marks for "Coherence and Cohesion."
Task 3: Academic Text Editing
Below are two dense paragraphs. Each contains several errors in parallelism. Rewrite
the paragraphs in their entirety to be smooth, professional, and parallel.
Paragraph A: Architecture and Psychology
"Psychologists have long argued that the design of a workspace can influence
productivity. A well-designed office should provide natural light, incorporate ergonomic
furniture, and it should offer quiet zones for deep work. Employees who work in such
environments are not only more focused but also they show higher levels of job
satisfaction. Conversely, an office that is cramped, noisy, and has poor lighting can
lead to stress. Therefore, improving office design is as much about aesthetics as it is
about the well-being of employees."
Paragraph B: The Industrial Revolution
"The Industrial Revolution was a period of great change, characterized by the rise of
factories, the growth of urban centers, and shifting from manual labor to machinery.
This era brought about a standard of living that was both higher and it was more
complex than the previous centuries. To understand this era, historians must examine
not only the economic data but also looking at the social impacts on the working class.
Ultimately, the transition to industry was as much a social revolution as it was an
economic one."
Answer Key
Task 1: Correlative Challenge
1. ...neither well-organized nor original.
2. ...or tutoring a single student.
3. ...but also to improve air quality.
4. ...and the time required (or: its duration).
5. ...or merging with a local competitor.
6. ...and to encourage critical thinking.
7. ...nor the high winds.
8. (Correct as is: Prepositional phrase vs. Prepositional phrase).
9. ...but it also damaged the boardwalk.
10. ...and her mental resilience.
Task 2: Comparative Logic
1. ...more effective than studying alone.
2. ...as those found in the second one.
3. Living in a big city... or ...than to live in a small town.
4. ...than those in the second chapter.
5. (Correct as is: Infinitive vs. Infinitive).
6. ...than that of the north.
7. ...as going to the gym.
8. ...than writing a casual email.
9. ...similar to those of a teacher.
10. ...as exercising regularly.
Task 3: Academic Text Editing (Sample Solutions)
Paragraph A: "...provide natural light, incorporate ergonomic furniture, and offer quiet
zones... Employees are not only more focused but also more satisfied with their
jobs. Conversely, an office that is cramped, noisy, and poorly lit... design is as much
about aesthetics as it is about employee well-being."
Paragraph B: "...the rise of factories, the growth of urban centers, and the shift from
manual labor to machinery... both higher and more complex than that of previous
centuries. ...examine not only the economic data but also the social impacts...
transition was as much a social revolution as an economic one."