Process Experience Journal
s I reflect on the readings, assignments, and activities from this course, I realize just how much
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my own racial identity development has been shaped by a mix of confusion, resilience, and
eventually, pride. Thinking back to the first time I became aware of my race, I remember
walking into a predominantly white school and immediately feeling different. My accent gave
me away the moment I spoke, and my brown skin made me feel like everyone’s eyes were on
me. Some kids would laugh and compare my skin to dirt, others asked me where I was “really
from,” and even teachers, who I expected would treat me with fairness and separated me with
subtle remarks like calling me “a good Brazilian.” At the time, I didn’t know how to process it. I
only knew that I felt out of place.
or a long while, those experiences made me embarrassed about who I was. I tried to minimize
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my Brazilian identity, speaking less in class, or acting in ways that I thought would help me fit
in. I now realize that these were behaviors of survival, shaped by the pressure to assimilate. What
I couldn’t understand back then was that the stereotypes and labels weren’t really about me, but
they were products of a much larger system. If I had known earlier that race was a social
construct rooted in history and power, or that racism operated not just in individual acts but also
in institutions and unconscious biases, I might have carried less shame. I might have seen those
moments not as personal failures but as reflections of broader dynamics.
ver time, though, my perspective shifted. Slowly, I began to embrace my culture, learning to
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take pride in my language, traditions, and family history. I moved from a place of silence and
embarrassment into one of exploration and affirmation. Spending time with other Brazilians and
people of color became a source of comfort and empowerment, especially in moments when I
felt isolated. I realized that being in spaces where my culture was valued gave me strength to
face environments where I was marked as “different.” Later, in college, I took this further by
helping to create an LGBTQ student group that intentionally brought together people from
diverse racial and cultural backgrounds. That experience was empowering, and it allowed me not
only to celebrate my own identity but also to help build a community where difference was
honored.
motionally, the journey hasn’t been easy. Even today, when I think back to those first moments
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of racial awareness, I can still feel the sting of isolation and the vulnerability of being singled
out. Yet those same memories now carry another layer: they remind me of how far I’ve come.
What once felt like a burden has become a source of pride and resilience. My racial identity is no
longer defined by how others label me but by the meaning I attach to it. I see my Brazilian
heritage as strength, and my experiences with bias as lessons that have taught me empathy and
critical awareness.
he counseling session we studied between Melissa and Ruri brought many of these reflections
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back into focus. Watching Melissa try to support Ruri with genuine care but through a Western,
individualistic lens reminded me of times when my own culture was misunderstood. I
empathized with Melissa’s intentions, but I also felt the frustration of seeing cultural blind spots
limit real understanding. It made me think about how important it is, not only to listen, but to
listen through someone else’s cultural perspective. That realization connected directly with my
own journey: I know how painful it feels when your experiences are measured against norms that
don’t fit who you are.
ven now, I sometimes find myself slipping into earlier stages of racial identity development.
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Recently, while working at a hotel, I noticed that even among other Latinos, I wasn’t always
treated equally. That moment reminded me that bias and hierarchy can exist even within shared
racial or cultural groups. It shook me, but it also reinforced how important it is to stay grounded
in the pride I’ve worked so hard to build. My accent, my skin, and my culture are not
shortcomings, they are parts of me that I refuse to hide.
his process of reflecting has been overwhelming at times, but also deeply rewarding.
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Cognitively, I’ve gained new insights into race as a social construct and racism as a systemic
issue. Emotionally, I’ve moved from confusion and shame to resilience and pride. Behaviorally,
I’ve shifted from trying to minimize my difference to building communities that celebrate it. My
racial identity today is one I embrace with confidence, but I also recognize that identity
development is never a straight line. Certain moments will always pull me back into feelings of
vulnerability, but I now have the tools, the community, cultural pride, and critical awareness, and
to move forward with strength.
hat I take away from this process is that identity is both personal and collective. It is about
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how I see myself, how others perceive me, and how systems shape those interactions. Most of
all, it is about learning to honor my own story, to find pride where I once felt shame, and to
approach others with the humility and openness that I once wished others had extended to me.