I CAN USE AN "I"
STATEMENT TO
EXPRESS HOW I
FEEL
ASSERTIVE
COMMUNICATION
Worksheets to help you communicate
your feelings and needs more effectively.
[Link]
ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
"I" STATEMENTS
"I" STATEMENTS ARE A GREAT WAY TO HELP SOLVE THE CONFLICT. WHEN SOMEONE
FEELS BLAMED FOR SOMETHING, IT IS EASY TO GET DEFENSIVE AND EMOTIONAL; THE "I"
STATEMENT FORMULA EFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATES YOUR FEELINGS AND NEEDS.
1 "I FEEL.... 2 WHEN....
WHAT ARE MY FEELINGS? GENTLY DESCRIBE THE OTHER PERSON'S
ACTIONS
3 BECAUSE... 4 I NEED."
THE EFFECT OF THE BEHAVIOR ON YOU WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE THE OTHER PERSON
TO DO INSTEAD?
I CAN USE AN "I" STATEMENT TO EXPRESS HOW I FEEL
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ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
"I" STATEMENTS
EXAMPLE
1 "I FEEL.... 2 WHEN....
WHAT ARE MY FEELINGS? GENTLY DESCRIBE THE OTHER PERSON'S
ACTIONS
"I FEEL SAD WHEN YOU PLAY
AND LONELY WITH EVERYONE
ELSE BUT ME
3 BECAUSE... 4 I NEED."
THE EFFECT OF THE BEHAVIOR ON YOU WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE THE OTHER PERSON
TO DO INSTEAD?
BECAUSE I AM I NEED YOU TO
LEFT OUT AND INCLUDE ME IN
HAVE NO ONE THE GAMES.
TO PLAY WITH.
I CAN USE AN "I" STATEMENT TO EXPRESS HOW I FEEL
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ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
PASSIVE ASSERTIVE AGGRESSIVE
"We both want
"I'll play to play
different
"That game is
whatever you games, so boring, there
maybe we can
want to play, play yours is no way I
today and
you decide." mine am playing
tomorrow?"
that."
PASSIVE ASSERTIVE AGGRESSIVE
- Unable to - Remain calm
speak your Speaking loudly,
opinions and - Use 'I' yelling,
thoughts statements screaming or
attacking
- Feeling walked - Use respectful
over by others language - Interrupting
others
- Avoid conflict - Standing up for
yourself and - Blaming others
- Shy, lack of eye others in a
contact, hide positive way - Intimidating
away others
- In control of
- Lack confidence your behavior - Eye rolling
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WHAT IS ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
Using assertive communication means you can express your
feelings clearly, directly, and respectfully. When assertive, you
express your thoughts and feelings and stand up for yourself
without being aggressive or putting anyone down.
Communicating assertively can help you minimize conflict and
resolve issues more effectively, empowering yourself.
Three communication styles have been identified, and all of
them can resemble different animals because of their
particular characteristics and traits.
Let's have a look!
The Passive Turtle
Hides and shy away
Self-protection to avoid getting hurt
Lacks confidence
Keeps your feelings tucked inside
Plays it safe
Pleasing others more than accepting self
The assertive owl
Wise, calm, and observant
Respectful and mature to self and others
Doesn't overreact and expresses feelings tactfully
Feels secure, confident, and loved
Uses "I statements"
The aggressive tiger
Is rude, bossy, and controlling
Disrespectful and can make people feel uncomfortable
Can yell and scream
Acts like they are better than everyone else
Intimidating
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ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION SCENARIOS
Your friend starts Your friend
teasing you about keeps hiding
your hair; he says it your belongings
looks funny. The as a joke. You
whole class starts say "If you do
laughing. Finally, it again, I am
you get angry and going to break
yell, "At least my hair something of
doesn't look like yours."
someone cut it in the WHAT COULD YOU HAVE SAID INSTEAD?
dark."
WHAT COULD YOU HAVE SAID INSTEAD?
Your friend tries to boss everyone around and won't
share or take turns when playing. Finally, you get
tired of this behavior and say, "We are all sick of
you, and no-one wants to be your friend anymore."
WHAT COULD YOU HAVE SAID INSTEAD?
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ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION CHECKLIST
ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION LOOKS LIKE....
MAKE EYE CONTACT
STAND UP TALL
ABLE TO BE CALM AND IN CONTROL
USE "I" STATEMENTS TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS
AND NEEDS
SPEAK FIRMLY WITHOUT YELLING
DESCRIBE FACTS WITHOUT BLAMING
ABLE TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF
LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE WITHOUT INTERRUPTING
HAVE COMPOSURE
BE RESPECTFUL OF OTHERS
ABLE TO SAY "NO" IF NEEDED
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COMMUNICATION QUIZ
MATCH THE STATEMENT WITH THE COMMUNICATION STYLE
"We don't have to play
my game, I'll play ASSERTIVE
whatever you want."
"Your so annoying, I
don't want to be AGGRESSIVE
around you any more"
"Only if you don't
mind"
PASSIVE
"When you tease me
about my hair it really ASSERTIVE
hurts my feelings"
"Do it, or else!" AGGRESSIVE
"Actually, I would
prefer we didn't talk PASSIVE
about that right now"
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THINK BEFORE YOU
SPEAK, WRITE OR TYPE
IS IT
T TRUE?
IS IT
H HELPFUL?
IS IT
I INSPIRING?
IS IT
N NECESSARY?
IS IT
K KIND?
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HOW ARE YOU COMMUNICATING?
HIGH REGARD FOR SELF
Assertive Aggressive
- Remaining calm - Speaking loudly
- Using 'I' - Using 'you'
statements statements
- Avoiding - Demanding in use
LOW REGARD FOR OTHERS
accusatory of language
HIGH REGARD FOR OTHERS
language - Interrupting
- Standing up for others
yourself and - Blaming others
others in a - Intimidating
positive way others
Passive Passive
- Unable to aggressive
effectively speak - Using sarcasm
your opinions and - Feelings and
thoughts actions don't
- Feeling walked match up
over by others - Sabotaging or
- Needs are not annoying others
being met - Avoiding
- Becoming confrontation
resentful of others - Denying issues
LOW REGARD FOR SELF
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