Writing correction practice
Essay 1: Your class has been discussing whether school/college leavers should be forced to do unpaid work if no
paid jobs are available. You have made the notes below:
Arguments for and against forcing young people into jobs that are not paid:
it gives young people the chance to gain valuable work experience.
it would benefit society if more young people worked for the local community.
companies would be exploiting young people as a cheap source of labour.
Some opinions expressed during the discussion:
If the job needs doing the company should be prepared to pay for someone's labour.
Such a scheme would build confidence in young people who would otherwise be idle
It would force young people into dead-end jobs
Write an essay discussing TWO of the arguments made for and/or against making young people do unpaid work.
You should explain which argument is more important, giving reasons in support of your answer.
Read Joy's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes
to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work.
Essay 2: Your class has had a discussion about the negative effects of globalisation on local culture. You have
made the notes below:
Effects of globalisation:the dominance of the western music/film industry.
the loss of national identity.
the undermining of values of a local culture.
Some opinions expressed in the discussion: We don't want to see the same culture wherever we travel.
People are free to enjoy whichever music, films or fashion they wish.
Young people are losing the sense of values their parents had.
Write an essay discussing TWO of the effects listed in your notes. You should explain which effect is more
important, giving reasons in support of your answer.
Read Elena's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking
codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work.
Feedback
This is generally a good essay Elena. You have focussed on two of the points listed and given a full and thoughtful
answer to the question. Your organisation is also clear with good use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. There
are lots of examples of good choices of vocabulary and advanced use of English. Overall, your ideas are
communicated very clearly and in an engaging, semi-formal register. The reader would be fully informed.
Well done!
Writing task for YOU
You attended a lecture at a local business centre where the advantages of working from home were discussed. You
have made the notes below:
How can working from home be beneficial? Effects on traffic
Less office space required
Happier employees
Some opinions expressed during the lecture: "People working alone at home go crazy!"
"Face-to-face meetings are crucial."
"Will everybody have this privilege?"
Write an essay, discussing two of the benefits in your notes. You should explain which benefit would be most
important, giving reasons in support of your answer.