IELTS Writing Task 1 – RUBY
Task 1 – Bar chart (Divorce rates)
1. Bài gốc (đã đánh dấu lỗi)
the bar chart compares the divorce rates in Finland and Sweden from 2011 to 2015. (The
bar chart compares the divorce rates in Finland and Sweden from 2011 to 2015.) Overall,
Sweden shows the downward trend while Finland shows the upward trend. (Overall,
Sweden shows a downward trend while Finland shows an upward trend.) Sweden started
at 45% in 2011, peaked at nearly 50% in 2012, before steadily declining to about 37% in
2015. Finland began lower at 37% in 2011, gradually reached a high of over 40% in 2014,
finishing the period at 40%.
2. Band Scores
TA CC LR GRA Overall
5.5 5.5 6.0 6.0 5.5
3. Nhận xét
Overview xác định đúng xu hướng chính nhưng đưa quá nhiều số liệu. Theo tiêu chí IELTS
band cao, overview nên chỉ gồm 1–2 câu mô tả xu hướng chính và không liệt kê dữ liệu chi
tiết.
4. Phiên bản nâng band
The bar chart compares divorce rates in Finland and Sweden between 2011 and 2015.
Overall, Sweden generally recorded higher divorce rates, although its figure declined over
time, whereas Finland experienced a gradual increase and eventually overtook Sweden by
the end of the period.
Task 2 – Olympic medals
1. Bài gốc (đã đánh dấu lỗi)
the bar chart shows the total number of (The bar chart shows the total number of)
Olympoic medals won by twelve different countries. (Olympic medals) Overall, the USA is
the most successful won country (Overall, the USA won the highest number of medals)
which having the highest medals while China having the lowest. (while China recorded the
lowest totals.)
2. Band Scores
TA CC LR GRA Overall
5.5 5.5 5.5 5.5 5.5
3. Nhận xét
Overview đúng ý chính nhưng cấu trúc câu chưa chuẩn và có lỗi chính tả (Olympic). Ngoài
ra overview không nên tiếp tục liệt kê nhiều số liệu sau câu tổng quan.
4. Phiên bản nâng band
The bar chart illustrates the total number of Olympic medals won by twelve countries.
Overall, the USA won by far the highest number of medals, followed by the Soviet Union,
whereas the remaining countries recorded significantly lower totals, with China and Japan
having the fewest medals.
Task 3 – Process diagram
1. Bài gốc (đã đánh dấu lỗi)
The diagram illustrates the process used by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology to
produce weather forecasts. Overall, the system consists of three main stages: collecting
information, analyzing data, and broadcasting the final results. To started, (To start,) raw
data is gathered from satellites, radar, and drifting buoys.
2. Band Scores
TA CC LR GRA Overall
6.5 6.5 6.5 6.0 6.5
3. Nhận xét
Overview rất rõ ràng: xác định đúng số giai đoạn và trình tự của quy trình. Tuy nhiên có
một lỗi ngữ pháp nhỏ 'To started'. Ngoài ra phần overview nên ngắn gọn hơn và tránh liệt
kê quá chi tiết.
4. Phiên bản nâng band
The diagram illustrates how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects weather data in
order to produce reliable forecasts. Overall, the process consists of three main stages,
beginning with data collection, followed by analysis, and ending with the broadcasting of
weather forecasts to the public.
Task 4 – Map development
1. Bài gốc (đã đánh dấu lỗi)
The map shows the development of Chorleywood village from 1868 to 1994. Overall, the
village expanded significantly, especially near the main road and railway. Between 1868
and 1922, growth was slow and concentrated near the center. However, after the railway
was built in 1909, the village grew rapidly to the south and west between 1922 and 1970.
2. Band Scores
TA CC LR GRA Overall
6.5 6.5 6.5 6.5 6.5
3. Nhận xét
Overview xác định đúng xu hướng chung: làng mở rộng và ảnh hưởng của cơ sở hạ tầng
giao thông. Tuy nhiên overview vẫn chứa khá nhiều chi tiết thời gian; overview band cao
nên tập trung vào xu hướng chính.
4. Phiên bản nâng band
The map illustrates how Chorleywood village developed between 1868 and 1994. Overall,
the village expanded considerably over the period, with residential areas spreading
progressively. In addition, the construction of major transport routes, particularly the
railway and motorway, played an important role in shaping this expansion.