The Sacrament of Matrimony

The Bible begins with Adam and Eve being created in God’s likeness. God
tells them to be fruitful and multiply. Their love for each other is the image of
the love God has for us. Whenever the authors of the Old Testament wanted
to show the beauty of the relationship between the Israelites and their God,
they would often compare it with marriage. We see one example of this in
Isaiah 62: 4–5
No more shall men call you "Forsaken," or your land "Desolate," But
you shall be called "My Delight," and your land "Espoused." For the
LORD delights in you, and makes your land his spouse. 5 As a young
man marries a virgin, your Builder shall marry you; And as a
bridegroom rejoices in his bride so shall your God rejoice in you. (Isaiah
62: 4–5)
In the Sacrament of Matrimony, a man and a woman are united in such a
way that they become one flesh, each belonging to one another. Matrimony
is a celebration of a lifelong commitment of faithful love. Living together in
marriage is not the only way in which people love one another, but marriage
is certainly the supreme example of human love. In the exchange of
promises during the marriage ceremony, the couple administers the
sacrament to each other. There must by an official Church witness present,
either a priest or a deacon, because Matrimony is an act of public worship, a
community prayer, bringing God’s blessing to the couple. Once the couple is
married, their home becomes a domestic church, for the Church is whole and
entire in a family built on the foundation of the Sacrament of Matrimony.
Matrimony often takes place during the celebration of the Eucharistic liturgy.
The couple exchanges promises. One example is
I, [name], take you, [name] to be my wife/husband. I promise to be
true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will
love you and honor you all the days of my life.
While Matrimony is part of the sacramental life that makes it possible for
Christians to attain eternal salvation, the purpose of the sacrament is to help
the partners in this life as they work to live in faithfulness to God. Their love
for each other is a reflection of the enduring love between Christ and his
Church, and it provides them with a foretaste of the divine love that awaits
them in paradise.
There are many beautiful and meaningful symbols for the sacrament of
marriage.

A single wedding ring. One ring symbolizes the fidelity of the marriage bond. The ring is
round without beginning or end to represent the never-ending nature of marriage. The
hollow center signifies that marriage is a channel of love from one spouse to the other. The
ring presses tightly upon the finger, showing that each spouse is tightly bound to the other
with a firm, intimate and chaste love reserved solely for one’s spouse.

Two interlocking wedding rings. Interlocking rings are inseparable, they cannot be pulled
apart, and therefore represent the permanence and indissolubility of the marriage covenant.
Jesus said, “What God has joined together, no human being must separate” (Mk 10:9).

Three flowers. The flowers may be roses, carnations, or another type of flower, and are
usually red or white. They symbolize that there are three parties to a marriage: two that are
visible, the wife and the husband, and the unseen and all-important third party, almighty
God.

A three-ply rope. This symbol is based upon the Scripture verse, “A three-ply cord is not
easily broken” (Eccl 4:12a). The rope has three strands, which are understood to symbolize
God, the wife, and the husband. The strands are tightly woven together and signify that a
couple tightly connected to each other and to God is far stronger than a solitary individual.

The marriage cross. A cross or Chi-Rho is prominently displayed in the center, with the
lower part of the vertical beam between the overlapping portion of two interlocking wedding
rings. The rings symbolize the wife and husband, and the cross or Chi-Rho represents
Jesus. The cross is higher, which symbolizes his authority. The beam between the rings
acknowledges that Jesus is the center of every Christian marriage. The grace that he offers
holds couples together.

Water jars. There were six stone water jars at the Cana wedding feast (Jn 2:6), and the
miracle of so much water being changed into so much wine represents the abundant
outpouring of grace by Jesus on the couple on their wedding day and every day for as long
as they shall live.

The unity candle. There are three white candles on a stand or table: a large pillar candle in
the middle with two smaller taper candles on either side. The smaller candles represent the
bride and groom as individuals, and the large candle, which is lit after their exchange of
vows, symbolizes the two united as one.

Two clasped hands. The hands of the bride and groom firmly grasping each other signify
the strength of their union as a couple and their commitment to walking the journey of
married life together.

Two hands covered with a stole. The stole is a symbol of a priest or a deacon. When
placed over the joined hands of the bride and groom, it recognizes that their marriage is a
sacrament.
Two doves. The doves represent bliss, the delight that the wife and husband have in each
other as well as the joy that they experience together.

A heart. A heart represents love. Love is the greatest of the virtues (1 Cor 13:13) and the
distinguishing characteristic of a Christian (Jn 13:35). St. Paul wrote, “Husbands, love your
wives” (Eph 5:25a). A wife and a husband love each other with all their hearts.

Father Van Sloun is the director of clergy personnel for the Archdiocese of St. Paul and
Minneapolis. This column is part of a series on the sacrament of marriage.

The Sacrament of Matrimony signifies the union of Christ and the Church. It
gives spouses the grace to love each other with the love with which Christ
has loved his Church; the grace of the sacrament thus perfects the human
love of the spouses, strengthens their indissoluble unity, and sanctifies them
on the way to eternal life - CCC 1661

Sacraments at the Service of Communion:

Matrimony
Scripture begins with the creation and union of man and woman and
ends with ‘the wedding feast of the Lamb’ (Revelation 19:7,9). Jesus
entered the public ministry at the wedding of Cana, when he turned
water into wine. Clearly, marriage reveals something about God’s
relationship with us. Scripture often refers to marriage, its origin and
purpose, the meaning God gave to it, and its renewal in the
covenant made by Jesus with his Church. Man and woman were
created for each other.

The Sacrament of Marriage is a covenant, which is more than a

contract. A covenant always expresses a relationship between
persons. The marriage covenant refers to the relationship between
the husband and wife, a permanent union of persons capable of
knowing and loving each other and God. The celebration of marriage
is also a liturgical act, appropriately held in a public liturgy at
church. Catholics are urged to celebrate their marriage within the
Eucharistic Liturgy.
A Sacrament of love

By their marriage, the couple witnesses Christ's spousal love for the
Church. One of the Nuptial Blessings in the liturgical celebration of
marriage refers to this in saying, ‘Father, you have made the union
of man and wife so holy a mystery that it symbolises the marriage of
Christ and his Church.’

Husband and wife are called to mirror Christ in Holy Matrimony.

They are called to give of themselves in a manner that is free, total,
faithful, and fruitful. According to the Lord’s own teaching, the
matrimonial union is indissoluble (see Matthew 19:4-6, Mark 10:7-9),
just as Christ never withdraws his love from us in spite of our
failings.

Marriage is the call to be open to life, to receive it as a gift, and to

bring it into the world. God has intended the act of marital love as
the means of expressing our desire for intimacy, one in which we, as
responsible parents, are open to the gift of life. Marriage is
fashioned by God as the institution by which children are welcomed
into the world, loved, and come to know their heavenly Father.
Through marriage preparation, the Church hopes all couples will be
able to discern how this beautiful vocation is about growing in
uniting love and cooperating with God in creating His children.

What makes a Catholic marriage?

The sacredness of marriage: Marriage is not merely a human

agreement between two consenting individuals; it is a relationship -
a covenant - before and under God (Genesis 2:22).

The intimacy of marriage: Marriage is the most intimate of all

human relationships, uniting a man and a woman in a ‘one-flesh’
union (Genesis 2:23 -25). Marriage involves ‘leaving’ your family and
‘being united’ to your spouse. It makes two into a union of one in an
unconditional, selfless and life-giving love.
The mutuality of marriage: Marriage is a relationship of free self-
giving of a man and a woman to one another (Ephesians 5:25-30).
The husband and wife are to be first and foremost concerned about
the wellbeing of the other person and to be committed to each other
in steadfast love and devotion. This involves the need for
forgiveness.

The exclusiveness of marriage: Marriage is not only permanent,

sacred, intimate, and mutual; it is also exclusive (Genesis 2:22-25; 1
Corinthians 7:2-5). This means that no other human relationship
must interfere with the marriage commitment between husband and
wife.

Want to receive the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony (Marriage)?

 You must be free to marry. Those in irregular marital situations

(e.g. civil divorce) must approach their parish priest in the first
instance for advice.
 The diocesan policy on marriage states that at least six
months’ notice of marriage is normally required at the parish
closest to the Catholic party. This is to ensure paperwork and
preparation can both be completed.
 Attend a marriage preparation course approved by the Church.
You can find out more information on when these courses are
available on our Marriage and Family Life pages.

Article 1. Whether matrimony is a sacrament?

Objection 1. It would seem that matrimony is not a sacrament. For every sacrament of
the New Law has a form that is essential to the sacrament. But the blessing given by
the priest at a wedding is not essential to matrimony. Therefore it is not a sacrament.

Objection 2. Further, a sacrament according to Hugh (De Sacram. i) is "a material

element." But matrimony has not a material element for its matter. Therefore it is not
a sacrament.
Objection 3. Further, the sacraments derive their efficacy from Christ's Passion.
But matrimony, since it has pleasure annexed to it, does not conform man to Christ's
Passion, which was painful. Therefore it is not a sacrament.

Objection 4. Further, every sacrament of the New Law causes that which it signifies.
Yet matrimony does not cause the union of Christ with the Church, which union it
signifies. Therefore matrimony is not a sacrament.

Objection 5. Further, in the other sacraments there is something which is reality and
sacrament. But this is not to be found in matrimony, since it does not imprint a
character, else it would not be repeated. Therefore it is not a sacrament.

On the contrary, It is written (Ephesians 5:32): "This is a great sacrament." Therefore,

etc.

Further, a sacrament is the sign of a sacred thing. But such is Matrimony. Therefore,
etc.

I answer that, A sacrament denotes a sanctifying remedy against sin offered

to man under sensible signs [Cf. III:61:1; III:65:1]. Wherefore since this is the case
in matrimony, it is reckoned among the sacraments.

Reply to Objection 1. The words whereby the marriage consent is expressed are the
form of this sacrament, and not the priest's blessing, which is a sacramental.

Reply to Objection 2. The sacrament of Matrimony, like that of Penance, is perfected

by the act of the recipient. Wherefore just as Penance has no other matter than the
sensible acts themselves, which take the place of the material element, so it is in
Matrimony.

Reply to Objection 3. Although Matrimony is not conformed to Christ's Passion as

regards pain, it is as regards charity, whereby He suffered for the Church who was to be
united to Him as His spouse.

Reply to Objection 4. The union of Christ with the Church is not the reality contained
in this sacrament, but is the reality signified and not contained—and no
sacrament causes a reality of that kind—but it has another both contained and signified
which it causes, as we shall state further on (Reply to Objection 5). The Master, however
(Sent. iv, D, 26), asserts that it is a non-contained reality, because he was of opinion
that Matrimony has no reality contained therein.

Reply to Objection 5. In this sacrament also those three things [Cf. III:66:1] are to be
found, for the acts externally apparent are the sacrament only; the bond between
husband and wife resulting from those acts is reality and sacrament; and the ultimate
reality contained is the effect of this sacrament, while the non-contained reality is that
which the Master assigns (Sent. iv, D, 26).

Article 2. Whether this sacrament ought to have been

instituted before sin was committed?

Objection 1. It would seem that Matrimony ought not to have been instituted
before sin. Because that which is of natural law needs not to be instituted. Now such is
Matrimony, as stated above (Supplement:41:1). Therefore it ought not to have been
instituted.

Objection 2. Further, sacraments are medicines against the disease of sin. But a
medicine is not made ready except for an actual disease. Therefore it should not have
been instituted before sin.

Objection 3. Further, one institution suffices for one thing. Now Matrimony was
instituted also after sin, as stated in the text (Sent. iv, D, 26). Therefore it was not
instituted before sin.

Objection 4. Further, the institution of a sacrament must come from God. Now
before sin, the words relating to Matrimony were not definitely said by God but
by Adam; the words which God uttered (Genesis 1:22), "Increase and multiply," were
addressed also to the brute creation where there is no marriage. Therefore Matrimony
was not instituted before sin.

Objection 5. Further, Matrimony is a sacrament of the New Law. But the sacraments of
the New Law took their origin from Christ. Therefore it ought not to have been instituted
before sin.
On the contrary, It is said (Matthew 19:4): "Have ye not read that He Who
made man from the beginning 'made them male and female'"?

Further, Matrimony was instituted for the begetting of children. But the begetting of
children was necessary to man before sin. Therefore it behooved Matrimony to be
instituted before sin.

I answer that, Nature inclines to marriage with a certain good in view,

which good varies according to the different states of man, wherefore it
was necessary for matrimony to be variously instituted in the various states of man in
reference to that good. Consequently matrimony as directed to the begetting of
children, which was necessary even when there was no sin, was instituted before sin;
according as it affords a remedy for the wound of sin, it was instituted after sin at
the time of the natural law; its institution belongs to the Mosaic Law as regards personal
disqualifications; and it was instituted in the New Law in so far as it represents
the mystery of Christ's union with the Church, and in this respect it is a sacrament of
the New Law. As regards other advantages resulting from matrimony, such as the
friendship and mutual services which husband and wife render one another, its
institution belongs to the civil law. Since, however, a sacrament is essentially a sign and
a remedy, it follows that the nature of sacrament applies to matrimony as regards the
intermediate institution; that it is fittingly intended to fulfill an office of nature as
regards the first institution; and. as regards the last-mentioned institution, that it is
directed to fulfill an office of society.

Reply to Objection 1. Things which are of natural law in a general way, need to be
instituted as regards their determination which is subject to variation according to
various states; just as it is of natural law that evil-doers be punished, but that such and
such a punishment be appointed for such and such a crime is determined by
positive law.

Reply to Objection 2. Matrimony is not only for a remedy against sin, but is chiefly for
an office of nature; and thus it was instituted before sin, not as intended for a remedy.

Reply to Objection 3. There is no reason why matrimony should not have had several
institutions corresponding to the various things that had to be determined in connection
with marriage. Hence these various institutions are not of the same thing in the same
respect.
Reply to Objection 4. Before sin matrimony was instituted by God, when He fashioned
a helpmate for man out of his rib, and said to them: "Increase and multiply." And
although this was said also to the other animals, it was not to be fulfilled by them in the
same way as by men. As to Adam's words, he uttered them inspired by God to
understand that the institution of marriage was from God.

Reply to Objection 5. As was clearly stated, matrimony was not instituted

before Christ as a sacrament of the New Law.

Article 3. Whether matrimony confers grace?

Objection 1. It would seem that matrimony does not confer grace. For, according to
Hugh (De Sacram. i) "the sacraments, by virtue of their sanctification, confer an
invisible grace." But matrimony has no sanctification essential to it. Therefore grace is
not conferred therein.

Objection 2. Further, every sacrament that confers grace confers it by virtue of

its matter and form. Now the acts which are the matter in this sacrament are not
the cause of grace (for it would be the heresy of Pelagius to assert that our
acts cause grace); and the words expressive of consent are not the cause of grace,
since no sanctification results from them. Therefore grace is by no means given
in matrimony.

Objection 3. Further, the grace that is directed against the wound

of sin is necessary to all who have that wound. Now the wound of concupiscence is to
be found in all. Therefore if grace were given in matrimony against the wound
of concupiscence, all men ought to contract marriage, and it would be very stupid to
refrain from matrimony.

Objection 4. Further, sickness does not seek a remedy where it finds aggravation.
Now concupiscence is aggravated by concupiscence, because, according to
the Philosopher (Ethic. iii, 12), "the desire of concupiscence is insatiable, and is
increased by congenial actions." Therefore it would seem that grace is not conferred
in matrimony, as a remedy for concupiscence.
On the contrary, Definition and thing defined should be convertible.
Now causality of grace is included in the definition of a sacrament. Since,
then, matrimony is a sacrament, it is a cause of grace.

Further, Augustine says (De Bono Viduit. viii; Gen. ad lit. ix, 7) that "matrimony affords a
remedy to the sick." But it is not a remedy except in so far as it has some efficacy.
Therefore it has some efficacy for the repression of concupiscence.
Now concupiscence is not repressed except by grace. Therefore grace is conferred
therein.

I answer that, There have been three opinions on this point. For some [Peter Lombard,
Sent. iv, D, 2 said that matrimony is nowise the cause of grace, but only a sign thereof.
But this cannot be maintained, for in that case it would in no respect surpass
the sacraments of the Old Law. Wherefore there would be no reason for reckoning it
among the sacraments of the New Law; since even in the Old Law by the very nature of
the act it was able to afford a remedy to concupiscence lest the latter run riot when held
in too strict restraint.

Hence others [St. Albert Magnus, Sent. iv, D, 26 said that grace is conferred therein as
regards the withdrawal from evil, because the act is excused from sin, for it would be
a sin apart from matrimony. But this would be too little, since it had this also in the Old
Law. And so they say that it makes man withdraw from evil, by restraining
the concupiscence lest it tend to something outside the marriage blessings, but that
this grace does not enable a man to do good works. But this cannot be maintained,
since the same grace hinders sin and inclines to good, just as the same heat expels cold
and gives heat.

Hence others [St. Bonaventure, Sent. iv, D, 26 say that matrimony, inasmuch as it is
contracted in the faith of Christ, is able to confer the grace which enables us to do those
works which are required in matrimony. and this is more probable, since
wherever God gives the faculty to do a thing, He gives also the helps whereby man is
enabled to make becoming use of that faculty; thus it is clear that to all
the soul's powers there correspond bodily members by which they can proceed to act.
Therefore, since in matrimony man receives by Divine institution the faculty to use his
wife for the begetting of children, he also receives the grace without which he cannot
becomingly do so; just as we have said of the sacrament of orders (Supplement:35:1.
And thus this grace which is given is the last thing contained in this sacrament.
Reply to Objection 1. Just as the baptismal water by virtue of its contact
with Christ's body [Cf. III:66:3 ad 4] is able to "touch the body and cleanse the heart"
[St. Augustine, Tract. lxxx in Joan.], so is matrimony able to do so through Christ having
represented it by His Passion, and not principally through any blessing of the priest.

Reply to Objection 2. Just as the water of Baptism together with the form of words
results immediately not in the infusion of grace, but in the imprinting of the character,
so the outward acts and the words expressive of consent directly effect a certain tie
which is the sacrament of matrimony; and this tie by virtue of its Divine institution
works dispositively [Cf. 18, 1], where St. Thomas uses the same expression; and Editor's
notes at the beginning of the Supplement and on that Article] to the infusion of grace.

Reply to Objection 3. This argument would hold if no more efficacious remedy could
be employed against the disease of concupiscence; but a yet more powerful remedy is
found in spiritual works and mortification of the flesh by those who make no use
of matrimony.

Reply to Objection 4. A remedy can be employed against concupiscence in two ways.

First, on the part of concupiscence by repressing it in its root, and
thus matrimony affords a remedy by the grace given therein. Secondly, on the part of
its act, and this in two ways: first, by depriving the act to which concupiscence inclines
of its outward shamefulness, and this is done by the marriage blessings which justify
carnal concupiscence; secondly, by hindering the shameful act, which is done by the
very nature of the act. because concupiscence, being satisfied by the conjugal act, does
not incline so much to other wickedness. For this reason the Apostle says (1 Corinthians
7:9): "It is better to marry than to burn." For though the works congenial
to concupiscence are in themselves of a nature to increase concupiscence, yet in so far
as they are directed according to reason they repress concupiscence, because like acts
result in like dispositions and habits.

Article 4. Whether carnal intercourse is an integral part of this

sacrament?
Objection 1. It would seem that carnal intercourse is an integral part of marriage. For
at the very institution of marriage it was declared (Genesis 2:24): "They shall be two in
one flesh." Now this is not brought about save by carnal intercourse. Therefore it is an
integral part of marriage.

Objection 2. Further, that which belongs to the signification of

a sacrament is necessary for the sacrament, as we have stated above (Article
2; Supplement:9:1). Now carnal intercourse belongs to the signification of matrimony,
as stated in the text (Sent. iv, D, 26). Therefore it is an integral part of the sacrament.

Objection 3. Further, this sacrament is directed to the preservation of the species. But
the species cannot be preserved without carnal intercourse. Therefore it is an integral
part of the sacrament.

Objection 4. Further, Matrimony is a sacrament inasmuch as it affords a remedy

against concupiscence; according to the Apostle's saying (1 Corinthians 7:9): "It is
better to marry than to burn." But it does not afford this remedy to those who have no
carnal intercourse. Therefore the same conclusion follows as before.

On the contrary, There was matrimony in Paradise, and yet there was no carnal
intercourse. Therefore carnal intercourse is not an integral part of matrimony.

Further, a sacrament by its very name denotes a sanctification.

But matrimony is holier without carnal intercourse, according to the text (Sent. D, 26).
Therefore carnal intercourse is not necessary for the sacrament.

I answer that, Integrity is twofold. One regards the primal perfection consisting in the
very essence of a thing; the other regards the secondary perfection consisting in
operation. Since then carnal intercourse is an operation or use of marriage which gives
the faculty for that intercourse, it follows, that carnal intercourse belongs to the latter,
and not to the former integrity of marriage [Cf. III:29:2].

Reply to Objection 1. Adam expressed the integrity of marriage in regard to both

perfections, because a thing is known by its operation.

Reply to Objection 2. Signification of the thing contained is necessary for

the sacrament. Carnal intercourse belongs not to this signification, but to the thing not
contained, as appears from what was said above (Article 1, Replies to 4 and 5).
Reply to Objection 3. A thing does not reach its end except by its own act. Wherefore,
from the fact that the end of matrimony is not attained without carnal intercourse, it
follows that it belongs to the second and not to the first integrity.

Reply to Objection 4. Before carnal intercourse marriage is a remedy by virtue of

the grace given therein, although not by virtue of the act, which belongs to the second
integrity.

Article 7 THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY 1601 "The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a
woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward
the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized
persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament." I. Marriage in God's Plan 1602
Sacred Scripture begins with the creation of man and woman in the image and likeness of God and
concludes with a vision of "the wedding-feast of the Lamb." Scripture speaks throughout of marriage
and its "mystery," its institution and the meaning God has given it, its origin and its end, its various
realizations throughout the history of salvation, the difficulties arising from sin and its renewal "in the
Lord" in the New Covenant of Christ and the Church. Marriage in the order of creation 1603 "The
intimate community of life and love which constitutes the married state has been established by the
Creator and endowed by him with its own proper laws.... God himself is the author of marriage." The
vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the
Creator. Marriage is not a purely human institution despite the many variations it may have undergone
through the centuries in different cultures, social structures, and spiritual attitudes. These differences
should not cause us to forget its common and permanent characteristics. Although the dignity of this
institution is not transparent everywhere with the same clarity, some sense of the greatness of the
matrimonial union exists in all cultures. "The well-being of the individual person and of both human and
Christian society is closely bound up with the healthy state of conjugal and family life." 1604 God who
created man out of love also calls him to love the fundamental and innate vocation of every human
being. For man is created in the image and likeness of God who is himself love. Since God created him
man and woman, their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God
loves man. It is good, very good, in the Creator's eyes. and this love which God blesses is intended to be
fruitful and to be realized in the common work of watching over creation: "and God blessed them, and
God said to them: 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it.'" 1605 Holy Scripture affirms
that man and woman were created for one another: "It is not good that the man should be alone." The
woman, "flesh of his flesh," i.e., his counterpart, his equal, his nearest in all things, is given to him by
God as a "helpmate"; she thus represents God from whom comes our help. "Therefore a man leaves his
father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh." The Lord himself shows that
this signifies an unbreakable union of their two lives by recalling what the plan of the Creator had been
"in the beginning": "So they are no longer two, but one flesh."

Marriage under the regime of sin 1606 Every man experiences evil around him and within himself. This
experience makes itself felt in the relationships between man and woman. Their union has always been
threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts that can escalate into
hatred and separation. This disorder can manifest itself more or less acutely, and can be more or less
overcome according to the circumstances of cultures, eras, and individuals, but it does seem to have a
universal character. 1607 According to faith the disorder we notice so painfully does not stem from the
nature of man and woman, nor from the nature of their relations, but from sin. As a break with God, the
first sin had for its first consequence the rupture of the original communion between man and woman.
Their relations were distorted by mutual recriminations; their mutual attraction, the Creator's own gift,
changed into a relationship of domination and lust; and the beautiful vocation of man and woman to be
fruitful, multiply, and subdue the earth was burdened by the pain of childbirth and the toil of work. 1608
Nevertheless, the order of creation persists, though seriously disturbed. To heal the wounds of sin, man
and woman need the help of the grace that God in his infinite mercy never refuses them. Without his
help man and woman cannot achieve the union of their lives for which God created them "in the
beginning." Marriage under the pedagogy of the Law 1609 In his mercy God has not forsaken sinful man.
the punishments consequent upon sin, "pain in childbearing" and toil "in the sweat of your brow," also
embody remedies that limit the damaging effects of sin. After the fall, marriage helps to overcome self-
absorption, egoism, pursuit of one's own pleasure, and to open oneself to the other, to mutual aid and
to self-giving. 1610 Moral conscience concerning the unity and indissolubility of marriage developed
under the pedagogy of the old law. In the Old Testament the polygamy of patriarchs and kings is not yet
explicitly rejected. Nevertheless, the law given to Moses aims at protecting the wife from arbitrary
domination by the husband, even though according to the Lord's words it still carries traces of man's
"hardness of heart" which was the reason Moses permitted men to divorce their wives. 1611 Seeing
God's covenant with Israel in the image of exclusive and faithful married love, the prophets prepared
the Chosen People's conscience for a deepened understanding of the unity and indissolubility of
marriage. The books of Ruth and Tobit bear moving witness to an elevated sense of marriage and to the
fidelity and tenderness of spouses. Tradition has always seen in the Song of Solomon a unique
expression of human love, a pure reflection of God's love - a love "strong as death" that "many waters
cannot quench." Marriage in the Lord 1612 The nuptial covenant between God and his people Israel had
prepared the way for the new and everlasting covenant in which the Son of God, by becoming incarnate
and giving his life, has united to himself in a certain way all mankind saved by him, thus preparing for
"the wedding-feast of the Lamb."