"Woah, really?" Jack said in shock, a big surprised grin spreading across his face.

"I mean,
given how you talk it makes a lot of--"

"No, not really!" Legosi cried, smacking himself in the forehead. "I really did find it after a
girl dropped it last night. But I… I was kind of the one who made her drop it," he admitted,
looking away from Jack and flushing with shame while he provided the real explanation.
Jack was just too smart to talk to sometimes. "I kind of pounced on her like I was going to eat
her."

"Legosi, you didn't…" the labrador murmured, but Legosi shook his head and the concern
lessened.

"I didn't even want to eat her! My body just moved on its own!" Legosi groaned, rubbing at
his eyes in displeasure. Predatory instincts were not something Jack could understand first-
hand. He was a dog, and like almost all dogs, his genetic strain had had their obligate
carnivory and predatory instincts phased out. They still possessed all the peripheral instincts,
like the one smell everything, the desire to form a pack; even the drive to return a thrown
object to where it was. Herbivores deemed Dogs harmless, since they were created to protect
them.

"Well, if you didn't want to eat her," Jack reasoned, relieved, "Why'd you jump on her?"

"I don't know, Jack!" Legosi said desperately, wearing a pleading expression. "It wasn't any
kind of sexual thing, either."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, big dog," Jack said reassuringly, patting Legosi's arm fondly, then
bringing the hand to his chin in thought. "Maybe it was a play instinct?"

"Jack's trying to contextualize it in ways he can understand," Legosi realized, also realizing
Jack wasn't the best person to talk to about this. "I could probably ask Bill, he seems pretty
in-touch with his wild side, I'll ask him after club--oh."

It took Legosi a few moments to realize he wasn't in the drama club anymore. He could
probably turn back up and Louis wouldn't say anything, but Legosi was still chapped from
the realization that he had really misjudged Louis as a person. He figured the deer for a tough
leader sort, but he just seemed like a spoiled brat who hogged the spotlight as often as Legosi
indulged him. It left a bitter taste in his mouth. But what of his other friends? Kai, Aoba,
Dom, Kibi; these were all animals he got along with, and would miss having an excuse to
interact with.

"I'm pretty sure I didn't want to play with her," Legosi replied, equally as absently. "I should
go return this, otherwise they'll think I mugged her or something."

"Yeah, probably your best bet, you are a large carnivore after all," Jack nodded. Legosi
winced internally when reminded. "See you in the canine room later?"

"You bet," Legosi nodded, cheerful for the change of subject.

Jack left, leaving Legosi to get ready for the day. A quick sniff under the arm--yeah, Legosi
definitely needed a shower today. Resigning himself to the semi-public nudity, he grabbed his
shower caddy and crappy flip flops, waiting until a spigot opened up in the corner of the
showers. He always preferred the corner showerheads, since he could face the corner, making
it difficult for other animals to see his front. It also kept him from seeing the other males,
which was a welcome blessing; Legosi had been mortified the one time he had accidentally
gotten aroused at the sight of another student in the shower, and even though nobody had
noticed the reaction, he was nonetheless sufficiently embarrassed that he took steps to
prevent it from happening again.

Once back in his room he hastily threw on a pair of boxers, yesterday's slacks, and a
wrinkled--but clean--uniform shirt. Suspenders and a tie were next. Legosi considered a
sweater vest, but opted against it as it felt warm out already, and his fur was still a little moist
even after the intense drying regime he put himself through. After checking the weather
report on the radio, Legosi felt vindicated in his decision. After giving some fresh water to
his pet beetle, Legosi set himself to the task of finding the rabbit he'd attacked.

He wasn't exactly sure how to find the girl, but he reasoned that starting by the female
herbivores' dorms and asking around was a solid shot. It would look strange, a big wolf
looking for a small rabbit.
"But if I spin it like I'm a good Samaritan…" Legosi thought craftily. He was upset at himself
for giving in to his instincts, but he still didn't want to get in trouble for it. Not unless he
seriously hurt someone.

"Do you know who this belongs to?" Legosi asked a passing gaggle of rabbits after he'd
arrived in front of the correct dorm. One of the group, a half-and-half rabbit, recovered from
her shock quicker than the others, and answered.

"Y-yeah," she squeaked. "Gardening club," was all she could manage.

"Oh, can you give this to one of the other members for me, then?" Legosi smiled, trying to
hide the hurt that came from passively instilling fear, and the even worse hurt that he realized
she was right to be afraid of him after what he did last night. He tapped the bag that he'd
clipped to a belt loop.

"She's the only one," the rabbit replied hurriedly, before the three females scurried away in
fright.

Another interaction where he had frightened a herbivore. One more stroke of the sandpaper
against his soul. His soul had been bright, once; as energetic and omnibenevolent as the souls
of all children. Now, though, Legosi felt just a little more of his soul get ground away. All
that remained of it at age seventeen was a worn little nub, an exhausted, shadow of a soul.
Did Legosi even feel happiness anymore? Not purely. Not without anxiety or directionless
self-loathing droning in the back of his mind, tempering the joy. He wondered if this is how
his grandfather had felt after his mother died.

Legosi stepped out onto the rooftop that made up the gardening club, and was surprised to
see just how many flowers were crammed into the small space, each one perfect. The air was
sweet here, and Legosi closed his eyes to savor the earthy aromas of the soils and composts,
letting the new array of smells overshadow his other senses. It warmed him, knowing a
beautiful place like this existed at Cherryton. Was all this managed by just one person?

"Hi there!" a bright voice called, jarring Legosi back to the present. His eyes fought to focus,
and then landed squarely on a tiny female rabbit. "Were you here for some flowers?"
Legosi maintained a neutral expression, merely staring at the small herbivore, but sirens were
blaring in his head. The weird feeling was back, but not as bad. Something about this tiny
little rabbit made him pine for something.

"But what!?" Legosi lamented. "And why am I almost… angry about her somehow? Is this
instinct?"

"Hello? Wolf-san?" Haru prompted, waving her hand at his long silence.

"She doesn't look afraid. Does she even know it was me? It was dark, and she has the vision
of a herbivore, so… probably not, actually," Legosi realized, not sure if that was a good thing
or a bad thing.

"Oh, um, no, I actually found something of yours," Legosi replied awkwardly, unlatching the
girl's bookbag from a belt loop. He slouched down, presenting it to her. Only then did he
notice the bandages on her arm.

"Monster."

"Oh, I must have dropped it last night!" the girl cheerfully replied, as though she had
genuinely dropped it. Legosi gingerly handed it to her, careful to hide his claws.

"What's your name, wolf-san?" she asked politely, holding the bag in front of her skirt.

"Legosi," he replied simply, maintaining his slouch, but shifting to put more of the weight on
his legs than his back.

"My name is Haru!" the rabbit replied, extending a hand. Legosi thought about extending his
own, but the thought of seeing the two side by side filled him with dread.

"Her hands built this beautiful garden, yours made her bleed. Monster."
"Sorry, I don't know if I should," Legosi admitted sheepishly. "I'm just extra-careful around
small herbivores, is all."

Haru withdrew her hand, placing it on a cocked hip with a skeptical look.

"She knows."

"What, are you afraid you're going to rip my arm off with a handshake? Are you serious?
You're don't scare me," Haru scoffed, pursing her lips coolly. She straightened up, extending
her hand again, more forcefully this time. "Let's try that again, Legosi."

"I don't… I don't scare her?"

"I don't?" Legosi blinked. Haru answered by cocking an eyebrow and thrusting her hand
further towards Legosi. He carefully met her hand with his, gently shaking as his eyes were
drawn to her bandages. He just had to know whether she knew he was her attacker or not.
"What happened?"

"Oh, I just tripped and cut myself on a latch, it's no big deal," Haru replied dismissively.

"She really doesn't know? Tell her. Tell her, you disgusting, untrustworthy animal."

"So then, um, it was nice to meet you, Haru," Legosi started to say, but Haru jumped in when
he paused.

"No, no, you can't go so soon! Don't you think you deserve a reward?" Haru gently chided,
grabbing a fistful of Legosi's pant leg and drawing him towards the gardening shed.

"Uh, no, not really," Legosi demurred.

"It hurts being around her, and I don't know why. Does that count as punishment?" the more
logical portion of his mind quipped.

Once inside, Haru shut the door while Legosi continued his internal agonizing between
rationality and self-loathing, too busy to notice what was being said or done around him.

"You attacked her, and now you're in a room with her, alone! This is bad!"

"Why do you feel verklempt towards her? What is it about her!?"

"She's your opposite in every way. You're big. She's small. You are dangerous. She's harmless.
Your hands cause pain. Hers bring forth life from the soil. You're a carnivore. She's a
herbivore. You are a male. She is a female."

"This feeling doesn't just feel like novelty, though. You're just jealous people aren't afraid of
her. You know you would give anything for that, wouldn't you?"

"It's my first time doing this for a carnivore, you know," Haru said sultrily, breaking Legosi's
train of thought. His eyes focused properly on her for the first time since they had entered the
shed, and noticed she was standing there in only her underwear. For once, rational Legosi and
self-loathing Legosi were in agreement on a thought:

"What the fuck?"

Warning: internalized transphobia. Probably will piss some people off.

"What the fuck?" was all Legosi could think.

"Come on then, let's get started," Haru said, stepping closer and beginning to unbutton
Legosi's shirt from the bottom up.

"What the fuck? Is this some kind of herbivore thing, or…? What the hell do I do!?" he
panicked, his body frozen and completely B.S.O.D.'d.

"You have such soft grey fur…" Haru cooed, running her hands through it. She kept
unbuttoning, moving up his belly before a wave of intense discomfort drew a hand to his
sternum, stopping Haru from exposing his chest. She took it in stride, moving down to his
belt, starting to unbuckle it.

"Hey wait a minute… if she goes down there… Nononono! She'll see that you've got a--!"

Legosi jerked backwards, eyes wide in sudden terror at the prospect of being seen in that
way. He scrambled back, pressing himself against the wall near the door, frantically re-
buckling his belt and re-buttoning his buttons.

"What's wrong with you? Get back here! I thought you were going to have sex with me!"
Haru chastised, pointing at the ground in front of her.

"Have sex with you? Like… Putting my, uh, that into your that ? That's… That's…"
"I--uhh," Legosi stammered, struggling to swallow, his mouth as dry as a desert as he
fumbled with the door handle. The idea of Haru seeing him in that way was an exquisitely
unpleasant cocktail of shame, embarrassment, fear, self-loathing, and dread. "Uhhhh--I don't-
-oh gods, I--uhh, you --" Legosi babbled, discombobulated to the point of being completely
inarticulate. He finally unlocked the door, yanking it open and bolting, pulling it shut behind
him as he retreated.

"What the fuck?!" he thought, angrily insistent now, as he made his way to the stairwell. With
nary a look back at the beautiful gardens, Legosi ran down the stairs, desperate to just get
back to his room and hide. Forget class for today, he didn't even want to be in public. "Why
would she want to have sex with a monster who attacked her!? It doesn't make any gods-
damned sense!"

Legosi rounded the mid-flight turnaround of the stairwell, coming face to face with the
animal he least wanted to see: Louis. Both looked at each other in stunned silence for a
moment, before Louis spoke.

"Legosi, are you… are you crying? " he asked, his surprise tempered with an unexpected
tinge of concern.

"What? Am I?"

Legosi brought a hand up to his eyes to check, and it came away wet.

"What's going on?" Louis scrutinized, looking Legosi up and down. His piercing stare made
the wolf feel naked, and he felt his tail curl between his legs. He was silent, having no idea
what to say, and couldn't bring himself to just walk away for some reason, focusing on
stemming the flow of tears down his face.

"I see…" Louis realized. "She rejected you because you're a carnivore."

"I didn't-- I didn't want to--" Legosi whimpered. "She just…" he trailed off, letting out a high
pitched canine whine and screwing his eyes shut to force the unwanted image from his mind.
"I just want to go home," he cried internally.
Louis drew back, searching for any sign of a lie, finding none. The masked concern in his
expression revealed itself further, stepping closer to the wolf.

"I… I didn't know you were this sensitive," Louis said, gardening his face and looking away.
"For what it's worth, I regret how I spoke to you last night."

"I'm not coming back," Legosi quickly said.

"I know. I just wanted you to know that I overstepped," Louis offered, looking sheepishly
down at a spot on the floor a few feet behind Legosi. "I'm sorry."

Louis's apology caught Legosi off-guard; he had never heard the deer admit fault before.
Usually, that didn't seem out of place due to the exacting standards he held himself to, so it
was jarring to hear that he at least knew he had been wrong.

"I'll let you go," Louis said diplomatically, clearly aware of how uncomfortable Legosi was.
Straightening back up and donning his usual countenance of satisfied superiority, he spared
the wolf one last look of concern before walking around him and making his way up the
stairs to the roof.

Legosi was glad to be alone for a moment, forcing himself to breathe and drying his eyes
properly. He nervously walked back across campus, feeling as if every animal was staring at
him, even though he knew they weren't. As he walked, he pulled out his phone to distract
himself, messaging Jack to cover for him.

>Me: hey jacku, I'm sick. Can you tell my homeroom teacher I'm gonna miss class today

>>Jackuuu~: Did something happen with that rabbit girl, or are you actually sick? Do you
have a fever?

>Me: I don't think I have a fever but I haven't checked. Can I just meet you for biology day
tonight?

>>Jackuuu~: of course, I'll tell him.

>Me: Yeah, don't worry about it

>>Jackuuu~: what about the play!? Will you be up for it?

Legosi hesitated. He didn’t want to explain anything to Jack.

“Was I kicked out? I guess I kind of was, at first, but then he’ll think I did something stupid,
or… Forget that, he always likes it when I do this…” he thought, tapping out Jack’s favorite
emoticon.

Λ＿＿Λ

>Me: < ￣ ᴥ ￣ > I’ll see later

Jack didn’t reply, and Legosi counted it for a small victory, but it didn’t help shake the
persistent feeling of dirtiness that clung to him like a bad smell. As he entered the dorms, he
thought about taking a shower, but it didn't feel like it would help. He went back to room 701,
sliding into his bunk and drawing the curtain closed sharply. At last, he could finally think.

"Whew, okay wolfie, let's think through this: why did you freak out and run away? You like g-
-just say it!

You're gay.

Gods, I'll never get used to saying it even in my own head. Do females disgust me physically?
I don't think so; I knew I only liked boys for a really long time, way before I knew there was a
difference down there, so I don't think it's that. Besides, she still had her clothes on.

Was it because she was a herbivore? That might be it; let's imagine if a wolf girl did the same
thing… Nope, still really scary. What if she had been a male…?

That's… That's less scary, but still gross for some reason! You stupid virgin!" Legosi thought,
agonizing in the darkness. "It was like how you feel when you look in the mirror and see that