Basic Negotiating Tips
We all negotiate in our personal and professional lives. We negotiate when we go to a garage sale, or
when we want to do something different at work, or when we are dealing with members of the public.
Sometimes its easy to negotiate, but other times, when we have a great deal at stake or we are
upset, the task can be intimidating or difficult.
We are going to talk about some tips to effective negotiating that can help you work more effectively
with your customers, co-workers, and boss. They are also applicable to other interpersonal situations.
Overview of The Negotiation Process
Negotiating is the process by which two or more parties with different needs and goals work to find a
mutually acceptable solution to an issue. Because negotiating is an inter-personal process, each
negotiating situation is different, and influenced by each party's skills, attitudes and style. We often
look at negotiating as unpleasant, because it implies conflict, but negotiating need not be
characterized by bad feelings, or angry behaviour. Understanding more about the negotiation process
allows us to manage our negotiations with confidence increases the chance that the outcomes will be
positive for both parties.
Barriers To Successful Negotiation
Viewing Negotiation As Confrontational
Negotiation need not be confrontational. In fact effective negotiation is characterized by the parties
working together to find a solution, rather than each party trying to WIN the contest of wills. Keep in
mind that the attitude that you take in negotiation (eg. hostile, cooperative) will set the tone for the
interaction. If you are confrontational, you will have a fight on your hands.
Trying To Win At All Costs
If you "win" there must be a loser, and that can create more difficulty down the road. The best
perspective in negotiation is to try to find a solution where both parties "win". Try not to view
negotiation as a contest that must be won.
Becoming Emotional
It's normal to become emotional during negotiation that is important. However, as we get more
emotional, we are less able to channel our negotiating behaviour in constructive ways. It is important
to maintain control.
Not Trying To Understand The Other Person
Since we are trying to find a solution acceptable to both parties, we need to understand the other
person's needs, and wants with respect to the issue. If we don't know what the person needs or
wants, we will be unable to negotiate properly. Often, when we take the time to find out about the
other person, we discover that there is no significant disagreement.
Focusing On Personalities, Not Issues
Particularly with people we don't like much, we have a tendency to get off track by focusing on how
difficult or obnoxious the person seems. Once this happens, effective negotiation is impossible. It is
important to stick to the issues, and put aside our degree of like or dislike for the individual.
Blaming The Other Person
In any conflict or negotiation, each party contributes, for better or worse. If you blame the other
person for the difficulty you will create an angry situation. If you take responsibility for the problem,
you will create a spirit of cooperation.
Some Negotiation Tips
Solicit The Other's Perspective
In a negotiating situation use questions to find out what the other person's concerns and needs might
be. You might try:
What do you need from me on this?
What are your concerns about what I am suggesting / asking?
When you hear the other person express their needs or concerns, use listening responses to make
sure you heard correctly.
For example: So, you are saying that you are worried that you will get lost in the shuffle
and we will forget about you...Is that right?
If I have this right, you want to make sure that the phones are covered over lunch?
State Your Needs
The other person needs to know what you need. It is important to state not only what you need but
why you need it. Often disagreement may exist regarding the method for solving an issue, but not
about the overall goal.
For example:
I would like an hour on Tuesday to go to the doctor. I want to make sure I am healthy so I
can contribute better to the organization.
Prepare Options Beforehand
Before entering into a negotiating session, prepare some options that you can suggest if your
preferred solution is not acceptable. Anticipate why the other person may resist your suggestion, and
be prepared to counter with an alternative.
Don't Argue
Negotiating is about finding solutions...Arguing is about trying to prove the other person wrong. We
know that when negotiating turns into each party trying to prove the other one wrong, no progress
gets made. Don't waste time arguing. If you disagree with something state your disagreement in a
gentle but assertive way. Don't demean the other person or get into a power struggle.
Consider Timing
There are good times to negotiate and bad times. Bad times include those situations where there is:
a high degree of anger on either side
preoccupation with something else
a high level of stress
tiredness on one side or the other
Time negotiations to avoid these times. If they arise during negotiations a time-out/rest period is in
order, or perhaps rescheduling to a better time.
Conclusion
Negotiating is a complex process but one worth mastering. If you keep in mind that you are
responsible for the success or failure of negotiation, and if you follow the tips above, you will find the
process easier.