COMMUNITY: STARTING WELL

LEADER GUIDE

For use with the Community: Starting Well In Your

Small Group Participant Guide and DVD

2012 NORTH POINT MINISTRIES, INC.

COMMUNITY: STARTING WELL

LEADER GUIDE

USING THE COMMUNITY: STARTING WELL GUIDE

In most DVD studies, the participant guide contains a
summary of the content on the DVD. Thats not true of
Community: Starting Well In Your Small Group. The print
and video elements for each week explore the same topics,
but do so from different angles. That includes the use of
Scripture. Passages referenced in the guide may not be the
same ones explored in the video.
This approach provides more opportunity for you and
your group members to connect the material with your
lives. The goal is that your group discussions help you get
to know one another while also challenging you to apply
Gods wisdom to your lives. Some of the people in your
group may respond to whats in the videos; others may be
touched by what they read. Thats because people have
different stories, different styles of absorbing information,
and are in different places on their spiritual journeys.

WHATS ON THE DVD

The video elements on the DVD may be a little different

than what youve experienced in other studies. The mix of
content and creative elements is designed to be fast-paced
but informative. Heres a breakdown of what youll find.

SESSION 2
Host introduction
Duration :40
John Ott teases the first of the Three Vital Relationships:
Intimacy with God.

Interviews
Duration 2:16

A brief creative piece in which people express a variety of

opinions about God and having a relationship with him.
Message
Duration 3:44

Joel Thomas talks about Gods desire that we experience

community with him and with one another. (John 17:2023)
Host closing
Duration :26

John Ott wraps up the video and transitions the group

into discussion.
Total Duration 7:09

SESSION 1

Youre Here For a Reason

SESSION 3
Host introduction

Duration 1:07

Duration :58

An inspirational video casting vision for community.

Host introduction
Duration :59

John Ott introduces the goal of the eight-week starter

period.
Message
Duration 3:37

Andy Stanley casts vision for the role of intentional

relationships in the process of spiritual growth and
introduces the Three Vital Relationships.

John Ott teases the second of the Three Vital

Relationships: Community with Insiders.
Message
Duration 5:22

Clay Scroggins explores the connection between

community and spiritual growth. (1 Corinthians 12:1226)

Interviews
Duration 3:22

A roundtable of group leaders talk about the importance of

everyone in group showing up, joining in, and being real.

Host closing

Host closing

Duration :37

Duration :15

John Ott wraps up the video and transitions the group

into a time of social connection.
Total Duration 6:20

John Ott wraps up the video and transitions the group

into discussion.
Total Duration 6:57

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COMMUNITY: STARTING WELL

LEADER GUIDE

USING THE COMMUNITY: STARTING WELL GUIDE

CONTINUED

SESSION 4

Host Introduction

SESSION 8

Three Stories*

Group Agreement
Duration 3:41
John Ott introduces the session and highlights a couple of
the most important aspects of the Group Agreement.

Message

Duration 14:33

Duration 3:32

A creative piece featuring powerful, true life examples of

storytelling.
Message

Andy Stanley shares a final insight about the benefits of

living in community.

Host closing

Duration 4:23

Duration :25

Billy Phenix uses Joshua 4:2024 to illustrate the

importance of sharing our stories.

John Ott wraps up the eight-week group experience.

Duration :33

John Ott sets up one of the most important phases of this

8-week experience: group storytelling.

Total Duration 7:34

Host closing
Duration :15

John Ott wraps up the video and transitions into the

group leader telling his or her story.
Total Duration 19:44

SESSION 7**
Host introduction
Duration :40

John Ott teases the third of the Three Vital Relationships:

Influence with Outsiders

Be the Church

* This is the longest video segment on the DVD. It is

designed to model transparency and openness for group
members, but also to help the group ease into the rhythm
of storytelling.
** There are no video elements for Sessions 5 and 6.
During those weeks, group members tell their stories.

Duration 4:53

A creative video with three stories about Christian

community being a light to the world.

Message
Duration 3:30

Jeff Henderson talks about the importance of getting

outside the four walls of group and investing in the larger
community around you.

Host closing
Duration :27

John Ott wraps up the video and transitions the group

into discussion.
Total Duration 6:40
2012 NORTH POINT MINISTRIES, INC.

COMMUNITY: STARTING WELL

LEADER GUIDE

USING THE COMMUNITY: STARTING WELL GUIDE

CONTINUED

Before Each Group Meeting

1.Read the Introduction and Weekly Reading
sections in the Participant Guide.

During Each Group Meeting:

1.You may or want to read the Introduction and
Weekly Reading from the Participant Guide aloud.

2. W
 atch the video segment for the session on the DVD.

2.Watch the video segment on the DVD.

3. Answer the Discussion Questions.

3.Have

a conversation about your answers to the

4. Read the Moving Forward section.

5. Send your group members an email in which you:

I ntroduce the topic for the upcoming meeting

A
 sk them to read the session materials in the

Participant Guide and answer the Discussion

Questions

Discussion Questions.
4.Read the Moving Forward section aloud. This section
wraps up the discussion, teases the topic for your next
meeting, and sometimes challenges you with ways to
apply what youve learned.

E ncourage them to call or email you with any

questions or insights as they work through the

material

C
 onfirm the date, time, and location of your next
meeting

ORGANIZING THE GROUP MEETING

Set expectations about what will happen during your
group meetings. This is important because different group
members will have different ideas about what should
happen. Some will want as much social time as possible.
Others will be primarily interested in study. Still others
will prefer to spend most of the group time in prayer.
All three activities are important to a great group
experience. You can decide as a group how much time
you want to spend in each. The important thing is that
everyone knows what to expect.
A typical group meeting might be structured as follows:

At the end of this eight-week study, youll use the

Community Group Agreement to define when you want
to meet as a group, for how long youll meet, and the
structure of your meetings.
Try to manage the groups time well. Dont be too rigid
its okay to put aside the group agenda when life happens
and a group member is facing a major challengebut
stick as closely as possible to the meeting agenda youve
agreed on as a group. Some of your group members will be
frustrated if, for example, social time consistently stretches
on too long, stealing time from the study and prayer
portions of the evening.

3 0 minutesSocial time (you can serve coffee and

dessert during this time; some groups even share a
meal together)
1 hourBible, book, video, or curriculum study (its a
good idea to begin this portion of the evening with a
short prayer)
3 0 minutesPrayer requests and prayer

2012 NORTH POINT MINISTRIES, INC.

COMMUNITY: STARTING WELL

LEADER GUIDE

LEADING THE DISCUSSION

You probably have a mental picture of what it will look
like to leadwhat youll say and how group members will
respond. Before you get too far into planning, there are
some things you should know about leading a small group
discussion.

Cultivate discussion.

Its easy to assume that a group meeting lives or dies on

the quality of your ideas. Thats not true. Its the ideas of
everyone in the group that make a small group meeting
successful. Your role is to create an environment in
which people feel safe to share their thoughts. Thats
how relationships will grow and thrive among your group
members.
Heres a basic truth about spiritual growth within the
context of community: the study materials arent as
important as the relationships through which those
materials take practical shape in the lives of the group
members. The more meaningful the relationships, the
more meaningful the study. The best materials in the
world wont change lives in a sterile environment.

Point to the material.

A good host or hostess creates an environment where

people can connect relationally. He or she knows when to
help guests connect and when to stay out of the way when
those connections are happening organically. As a small
group leader, sometimes youll simply read a discussion
question and invite everyone to respond. The conversation
will take care of itself. At other times, you may need to
encourage group members to share their ideas. Remember,
some of the best insights will come from the people in
your group. Go with the flow, but be ready to nudge the
conversation in the right direction when necessary.

The stories, questions, and exercises are here to provide

a framework for exploration. But different groups have
different chemistries and different motivations. Sometimes
the best way to start a small group discussion is to ask,
Does anyone have a personal insight youd like to share
from this weeks material? Then sit back and listen.

Stay on track.

This is the flip side to the previous point. Theres an art

to facilitating an engaging conversation. While you want
to leave space for group members to think through the
discussion, you also need to keep your objectives in mind.
Make sure the discussion is contributing to the bottom
line for the week. Dont let the discussion veer off into
tangents. Interject politely in order to refocus the group.

Pray.

This is the most important thing you can do as a leader.

The best leaders get out of Gods way and let him
communicate through them. Remember: books dont teach
Gods Word; neither do sermons or discussion groups. God
speaks into the hearts of men and women. Prayer is a vital
part of communicating with him.
Pray for your group members. Pray for your own
leadership. Pray that God is not only present at your group
meetings, but is directing them.

Depart from the material.

Weve carefully designed this study for your small group.

Weve written the materials and designed the questions
to elicit the kinds of conversations we think will be most
helpful to your group members. That doesnt mean you
should stick rigidly to the materials. Knowing when to
depart from them is more art than science, but no one
knows more about your group than you do.

2012 NORTH POINT MINISTRIES, INC.

COMMUNITY: STARTING WELL

SESSION ONE

NOTES FOR LEADING

Your first meeting as a group is a social gathering.

You may be eager to jump into the study, but building
relationships is essential to the group experience. The
depth of your relationships will drive the quality of your
discussions.
Host the first session in your home, where you can engage
with every member of your group. Begin the meeting by
watching Session 1 on the DVD. The video only lasts about
six minutes, but will help you align expectations and set
the tone for the evening.
Before the meeting, send your group members an email
confirming the date and time of the meeting and providing
them with directions to your home. Let them know that the
meeting will last two hours. If everyone has fun and the
meeting lasts longer, thats okay. But letting your group
members know ahead of time when the meeting will begin
and end helps to create a predictable environment.

LEADER GUIDE

DVD RUN TIME: 6 MINUTES

On the night of the meeting, your job is to create an
environment in which people can begin to connect. If your
group members have already met and are comfortable
with one another, you may not have to do much more than
provide coffee and snacks or light desserts. If your group
is meeting for the first time, you may want to use some
icebreakers to help people ease into the conversation.




Using icebreakers is an essential small group skill. Begin
with light and informational questions and then move to
deeper and more personal levels as the group progresses
together. Since this is your first group meeting, you
probably want to stick mostly with Level 1 questions,
maybe adding in a few Level 2 questions near the end of
the evening.

ICE BREAKERS

SESSION ONE

NOTE: The Level 3 icebreakers are here for you to use later in this study and as you move into future studies.

Level 1: Information (What you know)

What is your favorite movie? Why?
What is your favorite city? Why?
What day of your life would you most like to relive?

Why?
What does your name mean? Why were you named
that?
If your house were on fire, what three items (not
people) would you try to save?
What was the best gift you ever received as a child?
If you suddenly lost your eyesight, what would be
the thing you missed seeing the most?
What was your first job? What do you remember
most about it?
Tell the group a brief story from your wedding day.
If you could go to college (again), what would you
study?

You have been given a one-year sabbatical from

work. What will you do?

What has been one of the greatest adventures you
have ever been on?

Level 2: Opinion (What you think)

Who is one of your heroes. Why?
Who is your number one advisor in life. Why?
My favorite way to spend time is ______.
Just for the fun/thrill of it, before I die Id like to
______.
I was (or would have been) voted most likely to
______ in high school.
I wish before I got married someone had told me
______.
If you were going to leave the world one piece of
advice before you died, what would you say?

2012 NORTH POINT MINISTRIES, INC.

COMMUNITY: STARTING WELL

LEADER GUIDE

ICE BREAKERS (CONTINUED)

SESSION ONE

Who was one of the most interesting people you or

your family ever entertained?

Who was the best boss you ever had? What made
him or her so good?

People might be surprised to find out that I ______.

Describe a grade school teacher that made a big
impression on you (for good or bad).
Each person in the group answer for the person
on your right: ____, I am so glad God made you
because _____.

Level 3: Feelings (Who you are)

What is your biggest fear about death?
What do you miss most about childhood?
I am most like my mom/dad in that I ______.
One of my biggest pet peeves is ______.
When you were a child, what did you want to be

when you grew up?

For what do you want to be remembered?
An emotion I often feel but dont usually express is
______.
Where do you go or what do you do when life gets
too heavy for you? Why?
In what area of your life would you like to have
greater peace? Why?
What is one of your biggest fears about the future?
When you were a child, what was your favorite time
of day? What did you like about it?
In general, I worry too much about ______.
Before you end the meeting, ask your group members
this question: What do you hope to get out of this group
experience? Let them know what you hope to get out of
the experience of leading them.

2012 NORTH POINT MINISTRIES, INC.

COMMUNITY: STARTING WELL

SESSION TWO

NOTES FOR LEADING

In Session 2, youll explore the first of the Three Vital

Relationships: Intimacy with God. As you prepare to lead
the meeting:

Spend the week reading and thinking about the

LEADER GUIDE

DVD RUN TIME: 7 MINUTES

This session is a great opportunity for you to get a sense
of where your group members are on their spiritual
journeys. This will help you to better understand what they
need from you as a leader.

three parables in Luke 15:132.

Consider memorizing Romans 8:3839.

Pray for the group and your group members
individually.

SESSION THREE

NOTES FOR LEADING

During Session 3, your group will discuss Community with

Insiders. To prepare, spend the week reading and thinking
about the following Bible verses:

DVD RUN TIME: 7 MINUTES

Pray this week for the relationships beginning to form in
your group. Pray that God will use them to grow you and
your group members and to change your lives.

Day OneRomans 15:7

Day TwoRomans 14:1
Day ThreeGalatians 6:23
Day FourHebrews 10:24
Day FiveJames 5:16

2012 NORTH POINT MINISTRIES, INC.

COMMUNITY: STARTING WELL

SESSIONS FOUR - SIX

NOTES FOR LEADING

Before you begin telling your stories, watch the video for
Session 4. It sets expectations and even provides some
examples of people telling their stories.

LEADER GUIDE

DVD RUN TIME: 20 MINUTES

In order to encourage openness and transparency, reiterate
with your group these values and goals from the Group
Agreement:

Confidentiality for authenticity to occur,

NOTE: Katies story remains unresolved

at the end of this weeks video. We

recognize this may upset some members
of your group. If so, you can provide
them with some resolution. Hallie Lynn
Green was born on December 19, 2011
and passed away five days later on
Christmas Eve. Because of Katie and Chris
Greens openness about their story and
extraordinary trust in God, Hallies short
life had an enormous impact on thousands
of people and inspired Hope from Hallie,
a nonprofit that helps other parents of
Trisomy 13 babies. For more information,
visit the Green family blog at
[Link]

SESSION SEVEN

NOTES FOR LEADING

In Session 7, youll explore the last of the Three Vital

Relationships: Influence with Outsiders. As you prepare
to lead the group meeting:

Spend the week reading John 13:118.

Consider memorizing Galatians 5:1314.
Pray for your group and the group members

members must be able to trust that issues discussed

within the group will not be shared outside
the group.

Respect group members should never say

anything that will embarrass their spouses or other

members of the group.

Plan to spend about 30 minutes telling your story. This

will leave enough time for one or two other individuals or
couples to share their stories during Session 4. Have two
or three individuals or couples tell their stories each week.
If it takes more than three sessions for everyones story to
be told, thats okay. Pick up with Session 7 when everyone
is finished.
Remember: the best way to encourage your group
members to be open and transparent is for you to model
openness and transparency.

DVD RUN TIME: 7 MINUTES

As you discuss the idea of serving and your group
members previous experiences serving, think about the
kind of service opportunity that might best fit your group.
Take notes. Dont make any decisions about where and
how to serve until after Week 8, but start preparing for a
future discussion in which you and your group can work
out the details and logistics of your first opportunity.

individually.

2012 NORTH POINT MINISTRIES, INC.

COMMUNITY: STARTING WELL

SESSION EIGHT

NOTES FOR LEADING

In this final session, youll review, discuss, and sign the

Group Agreement and then spend the rest of your time
connecting socially.
This weeks video explains key elements of the Agreement,
but youll need to walk your group through the details.

LEADER GUIDE

DVD RUN TIME: 8 MINUTES

All of your group members will probably choose to
continue in the group, but its possible some wont. They
may contact you individually before the meeting or let
everyone know during the meeting. Either way is okay.
The way you respond is important:

You may experience someone leaving the group

NOTE: Before the meeting, print a copy of
the Group Agreement for each individual
or couple in the group. Everyone will need
a copy of the agreement as you watch the
video and walk your group through the
details.
Download the Group Agreement at:
[Link]/startingwell

as rejection. Dont take it personally. Sometimes a

group doesnt work for someone. It may be a matter
of chemistry or schedule or personal commitment.
Its probably not a reflection on your leadership.

Encourage anyone leaving the group to seek

community elsewhere. Just because this group

didnt work out doesnt mean another wont. Being in
community with other believers is essential to their
spiritual growth.

If someone contacts you by phone or email,

1. R
 ead through the Values and Goals section of the
Agreement with your group. Be sure to answer any
questions.
2. M
 ost of your discussion should be around the Group
Guidelines section of the document. This is where
you decide the day of the week, time, and for how
long you will commit to meet as a group. Youll also
decide how your group meetings will be organized
how much time will be spent sharing, discussing a
study, and praying. Remember: youre not setting
rigid rules about your group meetings, but guidelines
that help align group members expectations by
making the logistical aspects of group meetings
predictable.

communicate that persons decision to the rest of

the group. Be positive and respectful. Limit what you
share with the groupits okay to give them a reason
for the persons decision, but you dont necessarily
need to share all of the details.

Once youve finished reviewing, filling out, and signing

the Group Agreement, spend the rest of the meeting just
hanging out and enjoying each others company. Talk a
little about what study youll do next or begin planning
your first service opportunity.

3. F
 inally, you and your group members will sign the
Group Agreement. This isnt like signing a contract
or mortgage or car loan. Its just a way for everyone in
the group to acknowledge they understand why the
group exists and how its going to work.

2012 NORTH POINT MINISTRIES, INC.

COMMUNITY: STARTING WELL

LEADER GUIDE

LEADING YOURSELF FIRST

Leading others begins with leading yourself. Youre in a
unique position to influence the lives of the people in your
group. But you have to lead yourself first.

Depend on God.

Self-leading begins with being fully dependent on God.

The best leaders have learned how to follow God. They
know they are always under his authority.
Keep in mind that youre a steward of what God has
entrusted to youbeginning with yourself. Your gifts dont
belong to you and they arent there to serve you. God has
given them to you so you can use them to serve him.
Most important, in order to lead yourself well, you must
follow the Holy Spirit. Learn how to let the Spirit lead you.
Dont get out in front of him. This can be tricky (you are,
after all, a leader). But its important to remember that God
is in charge, not you.

Be Self-Aware.

Leading yourself involves knowing yourself. You should be

a lifelong student of yourself. If you cant currently answer
the following questions, start moving in the direction
where you can.

Be Intentional

To lead yourself well, you have to be intentionalyou have

to do something. All self-leaders do five things:
1 . B
 egin with the end in mind. Self-leaders have a vision
for the kind of people they want to be and they pursue
that vision.
2 .A
 ctively learn. Self-leaders recognize that theyre
responsible for their spiritual development. They
explore and discover. Theyre curious.
3. P ractice rest. Self-leaders make time to reflect and
recharge. They maintain a sustainable pace.
4. P
 ursue health. Self-leaders take the necessary steps
to become or remain physically, emotionally, and
relationally healthy.
5. Lead from the inside out. Self-leaders recognize they
can never rise above the limits of their own characters.
They cultivate integrity and moral authority by
maintaining harmony between what they say and how
they live.

What is your personality type?

What are your top three spiritual gifts?
What energizes you?
What drains you?
How do you best connect with God?
In addition to being a lifelong student of yourself,
you need to have people in your life who know your
weaknesses and struggles and who love you enough to
point them out to you. We all have imperfections we cant
see. The remedy is a trusted circle of friends to hold us
accountable.
Leaning into other people isnt enough, though. On a
regular basis, you need to ask God to reveal your faults, to
refine you, and to make you more and more like Jesus.1

1 Psalm 139:23-24

2012 NORTH POINT MINISTRIES, INC.