Writing Persuasive Sales Emails

We analyzed 4 million recruiting emails sent through Gem. Most get opened. But only 22.6% get replies. Half those replies are "thanks, but no thanks." We dug into what actually works. Here are 8 factors that drive REAL responses: 1. Strategic timing beats everything else - 8am gets 68% open rates. 4pm hits 67.3%. 10am lands at 67% - Most recruiters blast at 9am when inboxes are flooded - Avoiding peak times alone can boost your opens by 7-10% 2. Weekend outreach is criminally underused - Saturday/Sunday emails get ≥66% open rates consistently - Why? Empty inboxes. Zero competition. Candidates actually have time - Yet few recruiters send on weekends. Their loss is your gain 3. Keep messages between 101-150 words - Shorter feels spammy. Longer gets skimmed - You need exactly 10 sentences to nail the essentials - Every word beyond 150 drops performance 4. Generic templates kill response rates - Generic templates: 22% reply rate - Personalized outreach: 47% increased response rate - Even adding name + company to subject lines boosts opens by 5% 5. Subject lines need 3-9 words - Include company name + job title for highest opens - "Senior Engineer Role at [Company]" beats clever wordplay - 11+ words can work if genuinely intriguing, but why risk it? 6. The 4-stage sequence is optimal - One-off emails are dead. Send exactly 4 follow-up messages - You'll see 68% higher "interested" rates with proper sequencing - After stage 4, engagement completely flatlines. Stop there 7. Get the hiring manager involved - Having the hiring manager send ONE follow-up boosts reply rates by 50%+ - Yet most recruiters don't use this tactic - Weekend advantage: Minimal competition for attention 8. Leadership involvement is a cheat code - Role-specific timing (tech vs non-tech) matters - Technical roles: 3 of 4 best send times are weekends - Engineers check email differently than salespeople. Adjust accordingly TAKEAWAY: These aren't opinions. This is what 4 million emails tell us. Most recruiting teams are stuck in 2019 playbooks wondering why their reply rates won't budge. Meanwhile, recruiters who implement these 8 factors see dramatically better results. The data is right there. The patterns are clear. The only question is: will you actually change how you operate? Or will you keep sending the same tired emails at 9am on Tuesday? Your call.

One of the most legendary marketers of all time: David Ogilvy. In 1982, David wrote an internal memo to the employees of his advertising agency titled "How to write." And in just 10 bullets he put together a masterclass in effective writing. Here's a breakdown of each one: The memo starts with a clear why. "The better you write, the higher you will go in Ogilvy & Mather. People who think well, write well. Good writing is not a natural gift. You have to learn to write well." Replace "Ogilvy & Mather" with any company and this holds true. 1/ Read the Roman-Raphelson book on writing. Read it 3 times. Every company on Earth would be a better place if this book was required reading. If you are still sending emails with Walls of Text, order this. 2/ Write the way you talk. Naturally. "Finding your writing voice" is a waste of time. You already have your voice—the one you use every day. Here's how to start using it in your writing: • Choose a topic • Record yourself talking about it Then, transcribe it and start there. 3/ Use short words, short sentences, and short paragraphs. This one takes practice. But the easiest way to find when you're being too wordy? Read everything aloud before you publish it. When you find yourself getting caught up, it's a sign you need to simplify. 4/ Never use jargon words like "reconceptualizes, demassification, attitudinally, judgementally." When you see someone using jargon, they're hiding their lack of understanding. An easy solution: pretend you are writing to an 8th grader. 5/ Never write more than two pages on any subject. 99% of books should be blog posts. And 99% of blog posts should be tweets. I would preface this by saying: never *publish* more than two pages on any subject. If it can't fit in two pages, it should be simpler. 6/ Check your quotations. This one is simple enough. Misquotes are unforced errors. 7/ Never send a letter or memo on the day you write it. Read it aloud the next morning, then edit it. This is the number one piece of writing advice I give people. If you are publishing something important, always, always, give it room to breathe. And always read it aloud. 8/ If it is something important, get a colleague to improve it. This pairs nicely with point number 7. If it's something really important, write it, give it a day, edit it, then send it to a colleague. 9/ Before you send your letter or memo, make sure it is crystal clear what you want the recipient to do. Put yourself in the reader's shoes and identify exactly the next step they should take after reading. Then, articulate those steps for them. 10/ If you want ACTION, don't write. Go tell the guy what you want. Last and most importantly, writing is never a replacement for a targeted conversation. Most messages should be conversations, especially ones that require action. Boom, that's it! Which one will you start using today? Let me know!

Want your words to actually sell? Here’s a simple roadmap I've found incredibly helpful: Think of crafting your message like taking someone on a mini-journey: 1. Hook them with curiosity: Your headline is the first "hello."  Make it intriguing enough to stop the scroll.  Instead of just saying "Email Marketing Tips," try something like "Want a 20% revenue jump in the next 60 days? (Here's the email secret)."  See the difference? Promise + Specificity = Attention. 2. Tell a story with a villain: This might sound dramatic, but hear me out.  What's the problem your audience is facing?  What's the frustration, the obstacle, the "enemy" they're battling?  For the email example, maybe it's "wasting hours on emails that no one opens."  Giving that problem a name creates an instant connection and a sense of purpose for your solution. 3. Handle the "yeah, but..." in their head: We all have those internal objections.  "I don't have time," "It costs too much," "Will it even work for me?"  Great copy anticipates these doubts and addresses them head-on within the message. 4. Show, don't just tell (Proof!): People are naturally skeptical.  Instead of just saying "it works," show them.  Even a simple "Join thousands of others who've seen real results" adds weight. Testimonials, even short ones, are gold. 5. Make it crystal clear what you want them to do (CTA):   Don't leave them guessing!  "Learn the exact steps in my latest guide" or "Grab your free checklist now" are direct and tell them exactly what to do and what they'll get.  Notice the benefit in the CTA example: "Get sculpted abs in just 4 weeks without dieting." And when you're thinking about where you're sharing this (LinkedIn post, email, etc.), there are different ways to structure your message. The P-A-S (Problem-Agitate-Solution) or A-I-D-A (Attention-Interest-Desire-Action) frameworks are classics for a reason. The core difference I've learned? Good copywriting isn't about shouting about your amazing product. It's about understanding them – their challenges, their desires – and positioning your solution as the answer in a way that feels like a conversation, not a sales pitch.

When I was at Salesforce, I used this exact cold email framework to book meetings with CEOs, COOs, and CFOs at the biggest companies in the world. Now I coach 100s of reps to use it—and they’re landing meetings that most sellers only dream about. Most reps never get to sell to the C-suite. Not because they don’t work hard. But because they reach out with transactional garbage that looks like every other email in the inbox. Executives don’t want another seller. They want a partner who understands their business. Here’s the cold email formula that works: 1. Warm and personal Lead with a sincere compliment. “I saw your podcast on ___…” “I read your Forbes interview and was moved by…” Show them you did your homework. Not some AI-generated flattery—real human admiration. 2. Shared values or struggle Make it human. “I related deeply when you talked about overcoming ___. I’ve faced something similar.” Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s how you earn trust. 3. Research-backed insight Cite a 10-K, public statement, or article. “Based on your Q1 earnings call, I noticed you're focused on X.” Link to the source. Build credibility. 4. A sharp POV + direct linkage Don’t say, “We help companies like yours.” Say, “You’re trying to achieve X. Companies on that journey often hit Y. Here’s how we solve it.” Make the connection crystal clear. 5. Soft CTA, strong conviction No desperate energy. Just: “If this is a priority, would it make sense to connect?” You’re not begging. You’re offering value. If you want my exact cold email template (and to see 13 real email examples me and my clients used to book C-suite meetings) grab them here: https://lnkd.in/g84w_utx

Ever peeked inside an exec's inbox? Most reps haven't, so YouTube "Walmart on Black Friday." You'll get the idea: People throwing elbows, pushing up to the front of the line, trying to grab something: "a few minutes," meetings, approvals, decisions, signoff, etc. So, 3 things to keep in mind while communicating with an exec: 1/ Execs typically read your emails during other meetings. Or, during early morning and late night workblocks. So: - If you have something longer (e.g. a 1-page exec summary), try sending in the off hours. The chance it's read goes up. Schedule for 5:30am or 8pm. (And if you're sending a 30-slide deck that's covered in vendor branding? Might as well just go ahead and delete that. It's not getting read.) - If you’re sending something mid-day, keep it to ~4 sentences. Again, they’ll read it while multitasking. 2/ It’s basic… but asking for time triggers the “I’m so busy” reflex. More likely outcomes are an internal referral, from a forwarded email with a short opinion. Craft your CTA's accordingly, example: You: "Would you want to weigh in first, or ask the team?" ↓ Exec: *FWD* interesting, plz look at this. -Sent from my iPad 3/ Even better, write your champions a forwardable email and have them send it, CC'ing you. Execs prioritize internal senders over external senders. Any other tips you'd add? Either because you're an exec, or, you found a practice that works?

My 5-Step Content Creation Process – From Ideation to Publication (Got me 48k LinkedIn followers and 11k newsletter subs) 1️⃣ Plant Whenever I have an idea, I plant its seed in my Apple Notes or Notion. How I Get Ideas: ⦿ Client Work: When I run into a new problem, I write a practical guide on how to solve it. (Example: How to write headlines. Fast.) ⦿ Curiosity: I consume a lot of content outside of marketing and advertising. I’m especially into music, poetry, theater, philosophy, psychology, history, and film. This helps me find interesting ideas that I can later connect to marketing basics to make them more interesting. (Example: How Patagonia’s marketing connects to Aristotle) ⦿ Conversations: Random input from outside triggers new ideas. Sometimes it’s real-life conversations, but mostly posts and comments I read online. This helps me write more relevant content. (Example: Scriptwriting with AI.) 2️⃣ Water I usually wait between two weeks and six months for an idea to ripen. During that time, I slowly add to it – thoughts, quotes, visuals, facts, and other pieces of research that I come across. 3️⃣ Harvest Every time I need to write a newsletter (every two weeks), I pick an idea from my garden that feels ripe and try to turn it into something useful. My Three Pillars of Useful Content: ⦿ Savable: People can easily understand it, save it, and come back to it when they need it. ⦿ Stake: Useful content is vulnerable. The best posts make me close my eyes and count backward before hitting publish because they usually involve sharing personal work, ideas, or stories that might make me look dumb. But that’s what makes it interesting—nobody wants safe, cookie-cutter content. ⦿ Simplify the Complex or Complexify the Simple: Explain a difficult task step-by-step or take something basic and dive deeper, approaching it from a fresh perspective. 4️⃣ Trim ⦿ Cut the Fluff: Once I have a messy first draft, I start editing. I strip out all the fluff and obvious stuff. It’s tough, but I keep reminding myself, “Your reader is smarter than you. They’ll get it.” ⦿ Promo Post: I write a promo post for LinkedIn, promising my readers what they’ll learn if they check out the newsletter. This helps me focus on the main point, cutting out anything that doesn’t support that promise. ⦿ AI: I use GPT to find more examples, proofread, and help me nail the right words. (🤖 My favorite editing prompt "Carefully compress the sentence below. Eliminate unnecessary words and replace longer words with shorter ones, ensuring the sentence retains its original meaning, info, and tone.") 5️⃣ Distribute Once the newsletter is out, I repurpose it into short-form content for LinkedIn, Reddit, and Twitter. In total, it usually takes me 16-20 hours of work from the moment I pick an idea until it’s ready to ship, visuals and all. Well, I hope that was useful ;)

99% of AEs and SDRs believe the secret to cold email is to sharpen the message and desired outcome. They're wrong. Here's what the top 1% of cold emails do differently (3 examples in the video): 1. They agitate pain. Step 1 in a successful cold email is to describe the PAIN better than the prospect can say it. That's not the same thing as promising an outcome. Cold buyers aren't thinking about outcomes (yet). They're thinking about the thorn in their side. Capture that thorn, and you'll earn the right to have them read the next sentence. 2. They create a compelling "chain" of sentences. Write this one down - EVERY sentence your write in a cold email has one purpose: To get them to read the NEXT sentence. The only exception to this rule is the last sentence. If a sentence doesn't accomplish this, strike it. Pretend you get $100 for every word you remove. Get ruthless. 3. They read like a page in your buyer's journal. As the buy scans your email, the way you capture the pain should FEEL like a conversation they already have going on in their head. The "best of the best" cold emails get this response: "Damn, that puts words to something I've been struggling to articulate." If it could pass as a journal entry, you're bound to win. 4. They have an "easy to say YES to" call to action. The best cold emails are easy to say yes to. They don't ask for 30 minutes. That's hard to say yes to for any busy exec. They don't ask for time (explicitly). They simply reference the problem, and ask if it's worth having a conversation to explore fixing it. TAKEAWAY: Almost everyone gets cold email wrong. They either think it's ALL about outcomes and benefits. Or they think it's all about WHAT and HOW you do it (positioning). Cold email is about neither of those. It's about a describing your buyer's problem so well, it feels like you're peering into their soul. Tag an AE or SDR that would like these tips. P.S. Once you book the meeting, here's 39 questions that sell that generate urgency, uncover pain, and create momentum: https://go.pclub.io/list

Someone asked me how many follow-ups I send to prospects who’ve shown interest but haven’t bought yet. My answer? I don’t stop. But I’m not “just checking in.” I’m making deposits. A deposit = information that makes people smarter about a topic they care about. (Like this post.) You can do this too. Create a Top of Mind sequence. Add prospects to it when they’re not ready yet. Not with “just bumping this to the top of your inbox.” Not with pressure. With perspective. With insight. With generosity. Start simple: Write down 5 questions your customers typically ask before they buy. Now turn each question into one email. One answer per message. You can even make it a video. Let your personality beam through. Don’t pitch. Don’t chase. Just teach. They may not buy now. But when the timing is right? You’ll be the first person they think of. Because you didn’t follow up. You followed through.

Just got off a call with a founder who's sent 1,000+ cold emails with ZERO responses... Let me ask you something... Have you ever crafted what you thought was the perfect outreach message, only to be met with complete silence? One of my clients (a SaaS founder) just shared their frustrating experience that might sound familiar... They spent weeks perfecting their message, researching prospects, and personalizing every email. The result? Radio silence. Zero responses. Zero meetings. Zero opportunities. And here's what really hurts... Their competitor, with an inferior product, was landing meetings left and right with the same prospects. After analyzing thousands of outreach campaigns, I’ve discovered that trust isn't built through volume - it's built through three specific elements that buyers actually care about. Here are the 3 trust drivers that actually get decision-makers to reply: 1) Social Proof That Matters Stop leading with generic logos. I've found buyers instantly engage when you share specific results from companies in their exact industry. They need to see themselves in your success stories. ✅ POWER MOVE:  Reference a similar company's specific metrics improvement (e.g., "We helped Company X increase their conversion rate by 47% in 60 days") 2) Thought Leadership Signals Your prospects are drowning in "experts." I've tested this extensively - buyers respond when you demonstrate deep industry knowledge through specific insights about their business challenges. ✅POWER MOVE: Share a unique observation about their market position or recent company changes that others missed. 3) Micro-Deliverables This is the game-changer most miss. I've seen response rates triple when founders offer immediate value before asking for anything in return. ✅POWER MOVE: Provide a quick competitive analysis or specific growth opportunity they can implement today, regardless of whether they reply. The data is clear: 89% of cold outreach fails because it focuses on what YOU want instead of what THEY need. These aren't just theories - I've watched these exact strategies transform response rates from 2% to 20%+ across hundreds of campaigns. Here's the real question: How many of these trust drivers are you actually incorporating in your outreach right now? #ColdOutreach #B2BSales #TrustBasedSelling #OutboundMarketing #SalesStrategy

We had a beautiful customer newsletter... and no one cared. Up until the end of 2023, we had a highly designed version of the newsletter. It looked great, but it took a ton of time to pull together. Every send required custom images, specific copy lengths, and with no real guardrails on content, we tried to include ✨everything.✨ And it did… fine. But not fine enough to warrant the time it required and no clear strategy, so we stopped doing it. This year, I relaunched our customer newsletter — and doubled our engagement score and click-through rates. Here's the 4 steps I took to do it: 1️⃣ I redefined the purpose. The newsletter needed to be a valuable touchpoint for account managers — something that kept customers informed and encouraged them to explore more of the Lattice ecosystem through features, events, and content. Not salesy. 2️⃣ I scrapped the overly designed template and went plain-text. The emails now come directly from Account Owners (because who’s Kerry Wheeler anyways?). 3️⃣ We segmented our customers into three key groups and tailor content to each one based on what’s most relevant to them. 4️⃣ I implemented strong content guardrails. Every send now includes just two of the most relevant product updates, events, and resources — and it must be actionable today (no “coming soon” teasers). The results? Open rates held steady at ~50%, but engagement took off. Click-through rates more than doubled, and we’ve heard great feedback from both customers and AMs on how the newsletter has kept them informed and engaged.