Handling Personality Clashes

The best negotiator I know is completely silent 70% of the time. Last year she closed $400M in deals saying almost nothing. In high-stakes negotiations, the person who truly understands human psychology wins. Not the loudest voice. Not the biggest title. The one who reads the room. FBI negotiator Chris Voss spent decades getting terrorists to release hostages. Now he teaches business leaders the same principles. And here's what surprised me most: These aren't secret tactics. They're learnable skills. Anyone can become a skilled negotiator. You just need to understand how humans actually make decisions. These 7 techniques are a great starting point. They've worked in life-or-death situations and multi-billion-dollar deals. 1. Strategic Silence teaches patience. Most of us rush to fill quiet moments. But silence creates space for better offers. Practice counting to 10 before responding. It feels eternal. It works. 2. "How" over "Why" shifts dynamics. One word change. Completely different conversation. Try it in your next meeting. Watch defensiveness disappear. 3. Addressing Fears builds trust fast. Name what they're worried about before they do. It shows you understand their position, not just your own. 4. Mirroring is almost unconscious. Repeat their words. They elaborate without realizing it. Simple technique. Profound results. 5. Getting to "No" seems counterintuitive. But "no" creates boundaries. Boundaries create honest dialogue. Real deals happen after "no," not before. 6. Confirming Concerns creates momentum. Summarize their position accurately. They feel heard. Feeling heard leads to flexibility. 7. Listing Objections removes their power. Say their doubts out loud first. They can't weaponize what you've already acknowledged. Every CEO needs this skill. Every leader benefits from understanding it. Every professional can learn it. The question isn't whether you need these skills. It's when you'll start developing them. P.S. Want a PDF of my Negotiation Skills Cheat Sheet? Get it free: https://lnkd.in/dDxE5v3B ♻️ Repost to help a leader in your network. Follow Eric Partaker for more negotiation insights.

A true story: Last year, I lost a deal I thought I had already won. Everything looked perfect on paper. I walked into the final conversation thinking it was just a formality. It wasn’t. Midway through, the other side said something I still remember: "This works for you, but I don’t know how this works for us internally." The deal collapsed 2 days later. Not because the offer was bad. But because I was negotiating for victory, not sustainability. Recently, while reading about the India–US Interim Trade Agreement, I realised how world-class negotiators think very differently. And surprisingly, these lessons have nothing to do with politics as they apply to salary talks, client deals, vendor contracts, and everyday professional conversations. Here are 3 lessons that changed how I see negotiations: 📌 Downside Protection > Upside Maximisation India didn’t start with “How much can we gain?”They started with “What can we not afford to lose?” Strong negotiators define their red lines first. Once risks are capped, you negotiate with clarity not desperation. Before your next negotiation, ask: 👉 What are my non-negotiables? 👉 What outcome would make this deal not worth it? Sometimes knowing what you’ll walk away from is more powerful than knowing what you want to win. 📌 The “Golden Bridge” Principle The agreement works because both sides can say, “We won.” India gets tariff reductions. The US gets market access. People don’t just need good deals. They need deals they can justify internally. Great negotiations aren’t about overpowering. They’re about designing outcomes where everyone walks away with dignity. 📌 Interim is a Strategy, Not a Compromise We’re obsessed with closing everything instantly. But sometimes the smartest move is: ✔ Pilot projects ✔ Trial collaborations ✔ Short-term agreements ✔ Phased rollouts Sustainable growth is rarely loud. It’s slow, intentional, and well thought out. The best negotiators I’ve seen aren’t aggressive. They’re patient. And they ensure that when the deal ends the relationship doesn’t. What’s one negotiation lesson life or work has taught you the hard way? #indiaUSJointStatement

The thing that makes you hate your job isn’t the work or your boss. It's knowing you settled for less. ..because you couldn’t (or didn’t) ask for more. That feeling… the absolute worst. I’ve been there too, as the founder of a personal branding agency, @The Growth Cradle But here’s what I’ve learned: Negotiation isn’t just about tactics, it’s about mindset. If you walk in believing you’re worth more, you’ll negotiate differently. The secret isn’t in asking for higher. It’s in structuring your ask so they want to say yes. Here are 5 approaches that have worked wonders for me when negotiating with clients- 1. The “Swap Ask”: Trade one thing you don’t care much about for something that matters more. Phrase: “I can compromise on X if we can adjust Y to match my priorities.” Why it works: Negotiation isn’t always about money. Strategic trade-offs often create bigger wins. 2. The Silence Trap: After receiving an offer, remain silent for a few moments. Why it works: This often prompts people to over-explain, share more information and improve their own offer. 3. The "Reverse Anchor" Technique: Instead of stating your desired outcome first, ask the other party to propose their expectations. Example: "Given the scope and responsibilities of this role, what compensation range are you considering?” Or “What’s your range for this? Let’s see how we can make it work.” 4 Future ROI Play: Frame your ask around the value you’ll create. “If we adjust this term, I can deliver X result in 3 months. How do we make that happen?” 5 Conditional Yes: Never give a naked yes. Always wrap it with a condition that adds leverage, clarity, or value. “Yes, if we can align the salary to ₹X.” “Yes, I can commit, as long as we adjust the timeline.” Why it works: Shows collaboration while protecting your value. More Examples of Conditional Yes in Action- ✓ Salary Negotiation Instead of: “I need 20% more.” Say: “Yes, I’m excited to accept—if we can align the salary closer to [X], which reflects market standards and the value I bring.” ✓ Client Project Instead of: “I can’t deliver by next week.” Say: “Yes, I can deliver by next week, provided we focus only on Phase 1 and move Phase 2 to later.” Remember: Negotiation isn’t about pushing. It’s about making it easier for them to say yes while protecting your value. When you negotiate well, you gain more than money: Respect. Leverage. Room to grow. And the freedom to keep loving your work. Here’s your challenge: pick one tactic. Use it. Then tell me what happened. Because negotiation isn’t mastered by reading. It’s mastered by stepping in the ring… again and again:) Bonus reads: Never Split the Difference – Chris Voss Getting to Yes – Roger Fisher & William Ury #books #learning #mindset #negotiation #money #job

Conflict is inevitable. How we manage it is both an art and a science. In my work with executives, I often discuss Thomas Kilmann's five types of conflict managers: (1) The Competitor – Focuses on winning, sometimes forgetting there’s another human on the other side. (2) The Avoider – Pretends conflict doesn’t exist, hoping it disappears (spoiler: it doesn’t). (3) The Compromiser – Splits the difference, often leaving both sides feeling like nobody really wins. (4) The Accommodator – Prioritizes relationships over their own needs, sometimes at their own expense. (5) The Collaborator – Works hard to find a win-win, but it takes effort. The style we use during conflict depends on how we manage the tension between empathy and assertiveness. (a) Assertiveness: The ability to express your needs, boundaries, and interests clearly and confidently. It’s standing your ground—without steamrolling others. Competitors do this naturally, sometimes too much. Avoiders and accommodators? Not so much. (b) Empathy: The ability to recognize and consider the other person’s perspective, emotions, and needs. It’s stepping into their shoes before taking a step forward. Accommodators thrive here, sometimes at their own expense. Competitors? They might need a reminder that the other side has feelings too. Balancing both is the key to successful negotiation. Here’s how: - Know your default mode. Are you more likely to fight, flee, or fold? Self-awareness is step one. - Swap 'but' for 'and' – “I hear your concerns, and I’d like to explore a solution that works for both of us.” This keeps both voices in the conversation. - Be clear, not combative. Assertiveness isn’t aggression; it’s clarity. Replace “You’re wrong” with “I see it differently—here’s why.” - Make space for emotions. Negotiations aren’t just about logic. Acknowledge emotions (yours and theirs) so they don’t hijack the conversation. - Negotiate the process, not just the outcome. If you’re dealing with a competitor, set ground rules upfront. If it’s an avoider, create a low-stakes way to engage. Great negotiators don’t just stick to their natural style—they adapt. Which conflict style do you tend to default to? And how do you balance empathy with assertiveness? #ConflictResolution #Negotiation #Leadership #Empathy #Assertiveness #Leadership #DecisionMaking

The worst negotiators fight to win.    The best negotiators fight for more.   Not more power. Not more control.   More value.   Because in any deal, there’s a hidden number most people ignore:   The extra value that only exists if both sides say yes.    Let’s break it down.    Imagine we have a 9-slice pie to split.    Seems fair to cut it in half, right?    But here’s the reality:    → If we walk away, I can still get a 1-slice pie on my own.   → You could bake a 2-slice pie by yourself.    So, what’s actually on the table?    Not the full 9 slices.    The only thing up for grabs is the extra 6 slices that neither of us can create alone.    Those 6 slices don’t exist unless we work together.    That means we both have equal power in making them real.    The fairest, most logical deal?   Split the extra 6 evenly.    I walk away with 4 (my 1 + 3 from our deal).    You get 5 (your 2 + 3).    No tricks. No power plays. Just math.    Now, apply this to business:    Two companies are negotiating a merger.    → Company A makes $1M in profit alone.  → Company B makes $2M alone.  → Together, they unlock an extra $4M in new revenue.    The fight isn’t over $7M.   That’s a distraction.    The real discussion is about how to divide the extra $4M.    If either side walks away, that $4M disappears.    The best negotiators don’t play tug-of-war.    They do the math.    Forget the posturing. Forget the ego.    Ask yourself:    → What’s my 1?  → What’s their 2?  → And what’s our 6?    This shift in mindset has made me a clearer, calmer, and far more effective negotiator.    And I bet it’ll do the same for you. ------------------- Hi, I’m Scott Harrison and I help executive and leaders master negotiation & communication in high-pressure, high-stakes situations. - ICF Coach and EQ-i Practitioner - 24 yrs | 19 countries | 150+ clients  - Negotiation | Conflict resolution | Closing deals 📩 DM me or book a discovery call (link in the Featured section)

The Orange dilemma: Why splitting the difference might be splitting the opportunity Picture this: You’re in a #negotiation class. You’ve been paired with a stranger, given one orange, & told both of you need it. Naturally, everyone’s inner toddler emerges. "Mine!" echoes silently. The clock is ticking. What do you do? Most pairs—proud of their brilliance—cut the orange in half. Problem solved? Not quite. Both walk away with 50% of what they need. But here’s the kicker—nobody asks why their partner wants the orange. Now imagine this: one person needs the juice, the other needs the rind. Instead of splitting, they could both get 100% of what they want—if only someone had asked: "Why do you need the orange?" This isn’t just a fruity parable; it’s a reflection of what happens in #business negotiations all the time. Harvard research on integrative negotiation strategies highlights that focusing on interests (not positions) leads to higher-value outcomes. Yet, most negotiators default to positional bargaining—fighting over the orange—without ever exploring the underlying reasons. The "split the orange" mindset plagues businesses: • Budget battles: Two departments argue over resources & end up sharing a meager slice instead of collaborating to unlock new funding sources. • Partnership deals: Companies compromise on terms instead of digging deeper to discover complementary goals. • Hiring negotiations: Employers haggle over salary without discussing non-monetary benefits that might satisfy both parties. According to a study by The Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, #negotiations that prioritize interest-based solutions create 42% more joint value than those that default to splitting the pie. Yet, businesses often rush to divide rather than multiply outcomes. Why we default to splitting? 1. Lack of curiosity: People focus on positions (“I need the orange”) instead of interests (“I need juice”). 2. Time pressure: Urgency pushes quick fixes. 3. Fear of rejection: Asking deeper questions feels risky. 4. Cognitive biases: Daniel Kahneman calls this "System 1 Thinking"—the brain’s tendency to leap to conclusions without critical analysis. To avoid the orange fiasco in your next negotiation, try these tips: • Start with 'Why?': Understanding motivations creates better outcomes. • Focus on interests, not positions: Ask, "What problem are you trying to solve?" • Be curious, not combative: Approach negotiations like a detective, not a gladiator. • Expand, don’t divide: Harvard’s Getting to Yes promotes win-win solutions by enlarging the pie. Next time you’re negotiating—whether budgets, partnerships, or literal oranges—don’t rush to slice. Instead, peel back the layers, squeeze out details, & zest up your curiosity. Because the best deals aren’t made by cutting things in half. They’re made by finding ways for everyone to walk away whole. So, ask the question that could change everything: "Why do you need the orange?" #Leadership

In M&A, the real art of negotiation isn’t about “winning” the argument, it’s about creating a deal that works in the boardroom, in the market, and in execution. The most effective negotiators I’ve worked with, and tried to be, share a few consistent traits: • They prepare relentlessly, knowing their numbers, scenarios, and walk-away points. • They frame the narrative so that their deal becomes the logical outcome. • They listen more than they speak, uncovering what really drives the other side. • They use concessions strategically, never giving without gaining. • They master the human element, ego, pride, and psychology can move numbers more than spreadsheets ever will. High-stakes negotiations are rarely about a single clause or valuation point. They’re about building trust without being naïve, creating momentum, and leaving the table with a deal that both sides are committed to making succeed. Because in M&A, a signed agreement is only the beginning, the real success is in creating a transaction that endures. #MergersAndAcquisitions #Negotiation #Leadership #BoardAdvisory #CorporateStrategy #DealMaking #BusinessLeadership #Resilience #Law #BigLaw #Finance

In law school, we spend a lot of time talking about advocacy, evidence, and litigation strategy… but one thing that often gets overlooked is the art of settlement and negotiation. It's not just a chapter in a textbook or a "once in a while" part of the job. It's a core skill, and one that directly impacts the lives of the people who trust us in their hardest moments. Learning how to negotiate isn't just about numbers on a page. So many things encompass it. Such as: 🔹 The value of the claim: medicals, future treatment, wage loss, permanency of injuries 🔹 The human behind the file: their pain, their limitations, their fears 🔹 The stance on both side: how to navigate the process with clarity 🔹 The timing: when to push, when to pause, and when to make a proposal 🔹 The communication: just picking up the phone and having a conversation vs sending an email The better we understand these pieces, the better we serve our clients. Settlement isn't giving up on a claim. It's a strategic, informed decision that can bring stability and relief when a client needs it most. Feel to free add any points in the comments below!

Negotiation: Collaboration + competition—two forces, one tightrope.    Mastering the tension is the key to better deals. 𝗖𝗼𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘁𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: The Art of Balancing Opposites    Negotiation is not a game of extremes. It’s about striking the perfect balance between creating value together (collaboration) and ensuring you claim your fair share (competition). By the end of this post, you’ll know how to navigate this delicate dance.  I’ve spent decades negotiating deals across industries and cultures. I’ve seen it all: deals lost to too much trust and others blown apart by over-aggressiveness. The key is not choosing between collaboration and competition—it’s mastering both. Here’s how to walk the coopetition tightrope with precision:    1️⃣ Collaborate to Build Value:  ↳ Collaboration is about creating value by sharing interests and priorities.  ↳ It’s not about oversharing.  ↳ For instance, revealing that work-life balance matters as much as salary encourages your counterpart to share their priorities. ↳ Negotiation by Design emphasizes this: focus on interests, not positions.  ↳ Collaboration works best when reciprocity is built into the process. 2️⃣ Compete to Claim Value:  ↳ Competition determines how the value is divided.  ↳ A strong first offer (anchoring) sets the tone for the negotiation. ↳ Negotiation by Design teaches that framing your demands as mutual benefits—“This ensures we both thrive”—protects relationships while asserting your position. 3️⃣ Avoid the Extremes:  ↳ Oversharing weakens your leverage; over-competing burns bridges.  ↳ I’ve done both. Once, I shared too much about my tight timeline, and my counterpart pounced.  ↳ Another time, I leaned so heavily on competition that I left value—and goodwill—on the table. 4️⃣ Balance Through Strategic Openness:  ↳ Reveal your interests to build trust, but guard your reservation point and BATNA.  ↳ Strategic openness aligns with Negotiation by Design principles and helps manage the tension between collaboration and competition. 𝗖𝗼𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘁𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 is a balancing act. The key isn’t perfection—it’s agility. Adjust constantly while you strictly follow the process and stay focused on creating and claiming value. What’s your biggest coopetition challenge? Share in the comments—let’s learn together. 

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received about negotiation came from a mentor of mine: "If we can't be friends before, during, and after the deal... I don't want to do the deal." That mindset has shaped my approach to CRE ever since. Too many people think negotiation is about winning. But in this business, trust and respect aren't optional—they're the foundation. The goal isn't to dominate the conversation or force an outcome. It's to collaborate. To find the intersection between what you need and what they value. Great deals happen when both sides walk away feeling like they gained something. That balance? It's the art. Over-negotiate, and you risk burning the trust and rapport you worked so hard to build. Sometimes, the best move isn't convincing the other side they're wrong. It's helping them see the numbers clearly. It’s about educating, not overpowering, and using leverage to your advantage. And let’s face it: sometimes one side comes to the table with unrealistic expectations. But rather than dismiss them and let your ego get in the way, you walk them through your rationale. Show them your homework. Be transparent. Because when both parties negotiate in good faith, there's always a number that works. And if there's not? Walk away with your integrity intact. The best CRE brokers aren’t just closers. They’re true relationship architects. They understand the long game. And they know that in this industry, your reputation is your leverage. That's how the best deals get done. Every conversation & move is like a chess match in the heat of a negotiation. For my sales people, how are you sharpening this skill?